The Challenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Challenge, Act I, Scene 2"Young Man Has Doubts About Becoming a Priest
38 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
You have nothing to apologize for. I'm enjoying this play. I'm anxious to find out what these girls have in mind. My group of friends weren't quite that bold, but I think some in my class might have been. I love the way you create characters with such diverse personalities. It makes them easy to visualize.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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You have nothing to apologize for. I'm enjoying this play. I'm anxious to find out what these girls have in mind. My group of friends weren't quite that bold, but I think some in my class might have been. I love the way you create characters with such diverse personalities. It makes them easy to visualize.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Didn't I answer this already! I'm so glad you are enjoying my play. I will be entering into some controversial areas. But that's what makes writing such a vital activity. Don't you agree?
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Yes, I do agree. Contorversy makes us think and sometimes see things in new ways. I'm looking forward to it.
Beth
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
In a way, I'm dreading finding out what the girls know and what they did to him. Most big men are putty in a girls hands, they are so nervous and shy. My friend's oldest son was like that. Nearly 7ft tall, but as innocent as a baby. But he wants to know what happened, then perhaps he can get on with his life. Excellent chapter in your script, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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In a way, I'm dreading finding out what the girls know and what they did to him. Most big men are putty in a girls hands, they are so nervous and shy. My friend's oldest son was like that. Nearly 7ft tall, but as innocent as a baby. But he wants to know what happened, then perhaps he can get on with his life. Excellent chapter in your script, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 15-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Thank you, as usual for your engaging review and your lovely reward. I'll be entering into some controversial areas in this play ... at least it would have been highly controversial in the 50s. I anticipate losing a few readers at that point, but that will be a choice they'll have to make. Thanks again, Sandra!
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If you lose some readers, then they are not worth keeping, Jay. Life is life, and you can't get away from it, there's no point trying to pretend. I'll be away until the 5th of December now, so I'll have to catch it when I get back. xxxx
Comment from Begin Again
Most deserving of a six, my friend. Your honesty on how a young man was and his moment of entering the priesthood is perfect. He must struggle with his doubts and emotions from the past and the present. I believe our "spitfire" will be Barbara... the catalyst of the storm.
Great job, and I look forward to continuing...
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Most deserving of a six, my friend. Your honesty on how a young man was and his moment of entering the priesthood is perfect. He must struggle with his doubts and emotions from the past and the present. I believe our "spitfire" will be Barbara... the catalyst of the storm.
Great job, and I look forward to continuing...
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 15-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Hold onto that thought about Barbara, Carol. This play will ruffle a few feathers, I'm afraid, and I may lose some of my valued readers. Mild stuff by today's standards, but my play would likely have been banned in the 50s.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is very well done. Marcia and Barbara's personalities are clearly different. In fact, Barbara seems a little off the wall or like she has been drinking. Phillip's fears for his chosen path are palatable. Their conversation is uncomfortable as it should be.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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This is very well done. Marcia and Barbara's personalities are clearly different. In fact, Barbara seems a little off the wall or like she has been drinking. Phillip's fears for his chosen path are palatable. Their conversation is uncomfortable as it should be.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Yes, Barbara is definitely a dominant personality.. I'm hoping you enjoy the drama as it unfolds next time.
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looking forward to it.
Comment from Spitfire
You got my attention, Jay. A guy in a room with seven senior girls. Something happened. Skillful handling of dialogue to heighten the tension. The theater goer will ask himself many question? Why does Philip seem so nervous around Barbara? What did the girls plan at the party? I also wonder if Philip might be gay and if the gals want to see if he hardens!
Can't wait for the next scene.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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You got my attention, Jay. A guy in a room with seven senior girls. Something happened. Skillful handling of dialogue to heighten the tension. The theater goer will ask himself many question? Why does Philip seem so nervous around Barbara? What did the girls plan at the party? I also wonder if Philip might be gay and if the gals want to see if he hardens!
Can't wait for the next scene.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Keep that thought, Shari! Thanks for the review and the lovely 6 stars.
Comment from tfawcus
Delicious interplay between these three characters. The different characters of Barbara and Marcia come across strongly. Poor Phillip. If he's not careful, he's going to get defrocked before he gets properly frocked!
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Delicious interplay between these three characters. The different characters of Barbara and Marcia come across strongly. Poor Phillip. If he's not careful, he's going to get defrocked before he gets properly frocked!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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You made me laugh, Tony! Thank you for your kindness and for the six stars.
Comment from lyenochka
The topics are all out of my realm of experience - as I know very little about football or even all the high school / football scene. (I went to one high school football game and our players were taken off the field on stretchers. Our school was mostly small Asian dudes and the other school was mostly BIG Samoan and Tongan dudes.) I also just hung out with nerds so the whole social banter is also alien to me. However, what I do like is your psychological drama - the part that isn't actually said. In the background is all the talk about sins and Phillip will soon be hearing and absolving other people of sins according to Catholic tradition and he wants a clean slate through confession in case, he needs to confess sins he has blanked out. Of course, we can all go directly to God but you are working within the mental conventions known to these people. Super job as always!
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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The topics are all out of my realm of experience - as I know very little about football or even all the high school / football scene. (I went to one high school football game and our players were taken off the field on stretchers. Our school was mostly small Asian dudes and the other school was mostly BIG Samoan and Tongan dudes.) I also just hung out with nerds so the whole social banter is also alien to me. However, what I do like is your psychological drama - the part that isn't actually said. In the background is all the talk about sins and Phillip will soon be hearing and absolving other people of sins according to Catholic tradition and he wants a clean slate through confession in case, he needs to confess sins he has blanked out. Of course, we can all go directly to God but you are working within the mental conventions known to these people. Super job as always!
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Happy you enjoyed this, even without understanding football. Understanding how it works, though will not hamper your understanding. It will, indeed, be a psychological drama. Thanks, Helen, for the six stars and your kindness.
Comment from moongirlwriter
I tried to read this. . .so sorry but I had to give it up and it's really well-written. It's the subject matter that did me in, it's just plain bizarre. Why the bedroom? Why this setting for someone who just finished seminary? At first I thought your description interesting and complete. . .then it jumped to yesterday where he was a hunk? Maybe if I'd read on. . .I would have understood? I'm hoping to read more of your writing. . .on a more interesting subject. Best of luck with this writing. :)
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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I tried to read this. . .so sorry but I had to give it up and it's really well-written. It's the subject matter that did me in, it's just plain bizarre. Why the bedroom? Why this setting for someone who just finished seminary? At first I thought your description interesting and complete. . .then it jumped to yesterday where he was a hunk? Maybe if I'd read on. . .I would have understood? I'm hoping to read more of your writing. . .on a more interesting subject. Best of luck with this writing. :)
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Thanks for your candor. It's not for everyone. But I thnak you for not punishing me for that.
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:)
Comment from Ulla
Again, Jay, you've written a very interesting scene. As I see it there's a lot of underlying innuendo going on here. Barbara is obviously the fiery one. I love it. I'm now waiting for what's next. Great writing as always. Ulla:))))
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Again, Jay, you've written a very interesting scene. As I see it there's a lot of underlying innuendo going on here. Barbara is obviously the fiery one. I love it. I'm now waiting for what's next. Great writing as always. Ulla:))))
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Many thanks, Ulla. I think you're gonna like this one. It's sure good to have you aboard
Comment from Richard Van Kirk
Following your advice, I read Act 1, Scene 1. I noted that your cast of characters in that scene included James Dellaney, however, James never entered the scene. In this scene, Margaret, Phillip's mother has several lines but is not noted in the cast. You did well with the dialogue to develop the characters of the two women, Marcia being troubled (as noted in the cast descriptions, and Barbara being extroverted. You developed the plot and did nicely adding tension to the scene regarding the sleepover when the women were sixteen and Phillip was a year older. The sleepover greatly impacted Marcia in such a dramatic way that she now has PTSD regarding what actually happened. Barbara remembers the excitement about the night. I suppose the other five girls are fluff, since only these two have impacted Phillip in a profound way. Marcia's dialogue development points to her strong feelings for Phillip, as a result of the sleepover. I'm thinking the sleepover is what turned Phillip into a priest, or he may be gay as he considered the seven girls to be friends, and he was their "protector." The mother's mention of Arthur Dela Turie had a dramatic impact on Phillip. My impression is that he wants to close the relationship with the two women in this scene and move on. It doesn't seem as if Marcia wants to close/end the relationship. However, neither does it seem Phillip wants to promote any kind of relationship, making the priesthood more of a hiding place, rather than a calling from the bloodied, tortured, $400 Christ who looks like he would fall on his head if the nails were removed. Christ may be a character not to be ignored!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Following your advice, I read Act 1, Scene 1. I noted that your cast of characters in that scene included James Dellaney, however, James never entered the scene. In this scene, Margaret, Phillip's mother has several lines but is not noted in the cast. You did well with the dialogue to develop the characters of the two women, Marcia being troubled (as noted in the cast descriptions, and Barbara being extroverted. You developed the plot and did nicely adding tension to the scene regarding the sleepover when the women were sixteen and Phillip was a year older. The sleepover greatly impacted Marcia in such a dramatic way that she now has PTSD regarding what actually happened. Barbara remembers the excitement about the night. I suppose the other five girls are fluff, since only these two have impacted Phillip in a profound way. Marcia's dialogue development points to her strong feelings for Phillip, as a result of the sleepover. I'm thinking the sleepover is what turned Phillip into a priest, or he may be gay as he considered the seven girls to be friends, and he was their "protector." The mother's mention of Arthur Dela Turie had a dramatic impact on Phillip. My impression is that he wants to close the relationship with the two women in this scene and move on. It doesn't seem as if Marcia wants to close/end the relationship. However, neither does it seem Phillip wants to promote any kind of relationship, making the priesthood more of a hiding place, rather than a calling from the bloodied, tortured, $400 Christ who looks like he would fall on his head if the nails were removed. Christ may be a character not to be ignored!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Richard. I mentioned in the character list that a character that doesn't figure into the scene, but is a part of the other characters' dialogue will be included. Hence, James. Margaret and Arthur were not mentioned as characters because they didn't have a prominent role in this scene. Just supportive.