Genius in Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Genius in Love (Scene 1)"In Search of a Soul
40 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
What a terrific idea for a play. The idea of the fairy, Pidely-Poo, as guide and companion in his earlier years (to Grade 7, apparently), and now cute & sexy little Cililla taking over the role, is simply genius. I enjoyed the way you had her perched on a nearby desk, taunting Cornelius with legs spread apart.
I have run across 2 autistic kids, so I know how difficult their lives must be. The fellow I worked with in the parts department at Moosehead Breweries had a son who is autistic. He zeroed in on people's birthdays (day/month/year), and knew exactly how old they were. He just had to go through the files stored in his brain. If he really liked the person, he'd add their wedding anniversary to the mix, and spit that out as well if his father asked him to. I saw this first-hand on "bring your son/daughter to work" day.
The other lad would try to talk so fast, he'd be out of breath. But the files just came so quickly, and he had to get the info out. He knew it amazed everyone.
I think many autistic kids are borderline geniuses.
I can imagine this light you speak of, highlighting Cornelius and Cililla, and putting the rest of the actors on stage in limbo.
Love the name you picked out for the perverted Grade 8 teacher, "Mr. Hiney". The girls in the class knew he was watching their legs under the desks.
We had a teacher in Grade 11 who made a remark one afternoon that surprised the hell out of me, and likely the rest of the class. He mentioned to one particular girl how she must like it when the end of the day came, bedtime, when she could put on her lacey baby dolls, something soft next to her skin. I know it embarrassed her, and the rest of us were shocked. (We had a small class in Grade 11 that year, only 17 of us. So we knew each other pretty well. But it was like he blocked out the rest of us, and talked just to her, as if it was just the two of them in the room.) I never forgot that. But you know, it was that teacher who put me on the road to writing. He's long dead now, of course.
Anyway, I look forward to Act II, Jay. Nicely penned! I can see no need of any suggestions. Good work!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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Hi Jay,
What a terrific idea for a play. The idea of the fairy, Pidely-Poo, as guide and companion in his earlier years (to Grade 7, apparently), and now cute & sexy little Cililla taking over the role, is simply genius. I enjoyed the way you had her perched on a nearby desk, taunting Cornelius with legs spread apart.
I have run across 2 autistic kids, so I know how difficult their lives must be. The fellow I worked with in the parts department at Moosehead Breweries had a son who is autistic. He zeroed in on people's birthdays (day/month/year), and knew exactly how old they were. He just had to go through the files stored in his brain. If he really liked the person, he'd add their wedding anniversary to the mix, and spit that out as well if his father asked him to. I saw this first-hand on "bring your son/daughter to work" day.
The other lad would try to talk so fast, he'd be out of breath. But the files just came so quickly, and he had to get the info out. He knew it amazed everyone.
I think many autistic kids are borderline geniuses.
I can imagine this light you speak of, highlighting Cornelius and Cililla, and putting the rest of the actors on stage in limbo.
Love the name you picked out for the perverted Grade 8 teacher, "Mr. Hiney". The girls in the class knew he was watching their legs under the desks.
We had a teacher in Grade 11 who made a remark one afternoon that surprised the hell out of me, and likely the rest of the class. He mentioned to one particular girl how she must like it when the end of the day came, bedtime, when she could put on her lacey baby dolls, something soft next to her skin. I know it embarrassed her, and the rest of us were shocked. (We had a small class in Grade 11 that year, only 17 of us. So we knew each other pretty well. But it was like he blocked out the rest of us, and talked just to her, as if it was just the two of them in the room.) I never forgot that. But you know, it was that teacher who put me on the road to writing. He's long dead now, of course.
Anyway, I look forward to Act II, Jay. Nicely penned! I can see no need of any suggestions. Good work!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 01-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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OMG, my reviews can go to bed now that Kimbob has left the brilliance of his imprint. I am so stoked with your words and examples aplenty. I don't know whether you get American TV there --but why wouldn't you?--Anyway, the model I think of when I get in the character of Cornelius is a young version of Dr./Shaun Murphy, played by the British actor Freddie Highmore in the Medical Drama "The Good Doctor." If you haven't seen the show here's a You Tube video of a snippet of one episode that illustrates his autism. https://tinyurl.com/4h7xs3t6.
Thank you so much, Kimbob. Your reviews mean so much to me.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! This was an interesting script - very artistically done where you interwove physical with the mental interactions. And this Cililla is quite the mysterious character - apparently, she's more than a figment of his mind as she can overturn a glass of water. I was thinking she might be just a mental image like his imaginary friend in kindergarten. Both seem to be coping aids. Congratulations on the ranking!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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Wow! This was an interesting script - very artistically done where you interwove physical with the mental interactions. And this Cililla is quite the mysterious character - apparently, she's more than a figment of his mind as she can overturn a glass of water. I was thinking she might be just a mental image like his imaginary friend in kindergarten. Both seem to be coping aids. Congratulations on the ranking!
Comment Written 01-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much, Ivenochka! You're the second one to mention the overturning of the water. The psychoanalyst Carl Jung has done extensive studies on paranormal psychophysical activity during pubescence such as unexplained books being thrown from bookshelves, windows breaking and the like. Cililla is definitely an aspect of Cornelius's mind, like his superego,. So, I'm comfortable in blaming the overturned water glass on Cornelius's mind.
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Oh, okay! We'll go with that.
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear jay, it is with great interest that I embark upon this new venture of yours, of writing play scripts.
You have invented a very unusual person as your main protagonist, as well as introduced his new mentor,
Celilla. I look forward, to your next post.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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Dear jay, it is with great interest that I embark upon this new venture of yours, of writing play scripts.
You have invented a very unusual person as your main protagonist, as well as introduced his new mentor,
Celilla. I look forward, to your next post.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2021
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2021
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Thank you so much Suzanna! I'm stoked that you are interested in this play. More to come soon!
Comment from F. William Lester
Very interesting. I recognize the 50's style classroom--remember them well. The visual was very clear and Cornelius' mannerisms were very believable. I had a problem with the introduction of Pidely-Poo. At first, I thought it was a jab at Mr. Hiney by Cililla, but by the end of the scene, I assumed it was a character like Cililla that guided Cornelius when he was very young, someone only he could see. By the way, at the very end of the scene, you were spelling Cililla with an "e"--Celilla. Well done. Thanks for sharing your work. Stay well.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021
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Very interesting. I recognize the 50's style classroom--remember them well. The visual was very clear and Cornelius' mannerisms were very believable. I had a problem with the introduction of Pidely-Poo. At first, I thought it was a jab at Mr. Hiney by Cililla, but by the end of the scene, I assumed it was a character like Cililla that guided Cornelius when he was very young, someone only he could see. By the way, at the very end of the scene, you were spelling Cililla with an "e"--Celilla. Well done. Thanks for sharing your work. Stay well.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021
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Thank you so much for your lovely review, Sir. And thank you for catching Cililla's name change. I know I found myself introducing an "e" instead of an "I" but I thought I caught them all. I appreciate it!
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You're very welcome. Glad I helped.
Comment from judiverse
This is very intellectual. The idea of the imaginary Celilla is ingenious. I wonder how you would do the staging for that. This sounds like a private school, a bit too formal even for the 1950s. It's understandable that someone like Cornelius would have an imaginary companion. Mr. Hiney seems pretty terrible, if he threatens the students like that. If he has a thing for little girls, maybe there should be some girls about so we can see his behavior. If they are little girls that he's attracted to, sometimes eighth grade girls don't seem so little. Excellent concept. It'll be interesting to see where you take this. judi
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021
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This is very intellectual. The idea of the imaginary Celilla is ingenious. I wonder how you would do the staging for that. This sounds like a private school, a bit too formal even for the 1950s. It's understandable that someone like Cornelius would have an imaginary companion. Mr. Hiney seems pretty terrible, if he threatens the students like that. If he has a thing for little girls, maybe there should be some girls about so we can see his behavior. If they are little girls that he's attracted to, sometimes eighth grade girls don't seem so little. Excellent concept. It'll be interesting to see where you take this. judi
Comment Written 31-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021
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You don't know how highly I take your kind compliment of this play. I realized about half-way through that it should have been a screenplay because of the added flexibility that a camera affords the writer. Anyway, I consider you the expert on this type of writing; you and Lancelot (who didn't care much for it). So when you applaud my play by giving it a six, it fills me with enthusiasm.
Comment from Tpa
Of of the many scripts I have read on this site, I have never seen so much detail as I saw in yours. I seemed to know every move that the cast was making.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021
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Of of the many scripts I have read on this site, I have never seen so much detail as I saw in yours. I seemed to know every move that the cast was making.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021
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Some did not consider that an asset, Tpa. I thank you for thinking differently and rewarding it with the sixth star. Thank you so much!
Comment from Mastery
Outstanding writing, Jay. I give you credit in so many fronts with this one. First of all, it is a highly controversial topic any way you look at it...even back before in the 1950 era.
I also must give you credit above and beyond the writing. The way you handled the spotlighting and segregation of characters is fantastic, my friend. Like here for instance:
"Stepping away from the play with a little stage direction: The moment CILILLA QUEEZ speaks, all other speech is interrupted, sinking into a kind of suspended animation. Simultaneously, all but CILILLA QUEEZ and CORNELIUS go into shadow, while a circle of light surrounds the two."
LOL You did forget the alphabet displayed all around the room in both small and cursive letters. It usually skirted around the top of the wall above the blackboard like this: Aa Bb Cc nd so on.
I agree it is a very long piece and perhaps you may have figured a way to make it three scenes instead of two.
I love it though and waiting for scene number two. Bob
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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021
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Outstanding writing, Jay. I give you credit in so many fronts with this one. First of all, it is a highly controversial topic any way you look at it...even back before in the 1950 era.
I also must give you credit above and beyond the writing. The way you handled the spotlighting and segregation of characters is fantastic, my friend. Like here for instance:
"Stepping away from the play with a little stage direction: The moment CILILLA QUEEZ speaks, all other speech is interrupted, sinking into a kind of suspended animation. Simultaneously, all but CILILLA QUEEZ and CORNELIUS go into shadow, while a circle of light surrounds the two."
LOL You did forget the alphabet displayed all around the room in both small and cursive letters. It usually skirted around the top of the wall above the blackboard like this: Aa Bb Cc nd so on.
I agree it is a very long piece and perhaps you may have figured a way to make it three scenes instead of two.
I love it though and waiting for scene number two. Bob
"
Comment Written 31-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2021
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I remember those upper and lower case alphabet strips above the blackboard. I don't remember them as late as the 8th grade, though. But, wait! You live on the east coast! LOL, Thanks for your generous review, Bob. I really appreciate it. It was rather long, I'll give you that. The problems came mostly with the stage directions. I'm thrilled you looked beyond that and still gave me a 6 star rating. Thanks again!
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Well deserved my friend. Bob
Comment from kmoss
An, I expected this to be a one and done scene, but you cleverly roped me in! Great name for the pervert teacher, I guess you couldn't really use Mr.Asshole. Lol.
As always, you took a subject I wouldn't have been interested in reading and made it interesting to me! I continue to be amazed by your skills. Part two soon please.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021
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An, I expected this to be a one and done scene, but you cleverly roped me in! Great name for the pervert teacher, I guess you couldn't really use Mr.Asshole. Lol.
As always, you took a subject I wouldn't have been interested in reading and made it interesting to me! I continue to be amazed by your skills. Part two soon please.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021
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Part two will be coming a little over a week from now, Krystal. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm no playwright. I guess you can see that. But I'm learning a few things in the practice of it.
Comment from nomi338
Congratulations. I was able to visualize the entirety of this well constructed and executed scenario. I was totally engrossed in the scenes as they were acted out. I do hope you intend to take this beyond this one entry. As I am in a word, hooked.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021
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Congratulations. I was able to visualize the entirety of this well constructed and executed scenario. I was totally engrossed in the scenes as they were acted out. I do hope you intend to take this beyond this one entry. As I am in a word, hooked.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021
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Ah! Thank you so much, Sir. I loves to hook 'em! There will be several more scenes that I hope expand and deepen the subject of autism. Thank you also for rewarding me with a six! That means so much to me.
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I can hardly wait. This character seems very interesting to me. I am also intrigued by the interaction of his alter, I guess you could call her.
Comment from Bluesatinbutterfly
This was a very enjoyable read. I am fascinated by the characters and look forward to reading more about them. Each is keenly drawn and believable. I want to see where this will go. Thank you.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021
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This was a very enjoyable read. I am fascinated by the characters and look forward to reading more about them. Each is keenly drawn and believable. I want to see where this will go. Thank you.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2021
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2021
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You keep dishing out the sixes, I'll keep dishing out the words! LOL, thank you, really, for the extra dollop of enjoyment that your six gives to me and illustrates a connection with you.