Looking for Orion - 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Trouble Follows - part 3"Brothers fight for faith ... and for their lives.
12 total reviews
Comment from Precious Owuamalam
This is indeed very interesting to read. I like how you bring life into your stories, guess it comes with experience. I mean, reading this just feels like seeing a movie. I'm overwhelmed! Great job Deb, great job.
One thing, in your synopsis there's a double "goes": Cody goesgoes on a 'photo safari',
Blessings and good health.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2020
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This is indeed very interesting to read. I like how you bring life into your stories, guess it comes with experience. I mean, reading this just feels like seeing a movie. I'm overwhelmed! Great job Deb, great job.
One thing, in your synopsis there's a double "goes": Cody goesgoes on a 'photo safari',
Blessings and good health.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2020
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I don't suppose-ppose that you'd believe that I did that on purpose-pose, would you you? lol. It's fixed. Thank you.
Do you know what a thrill it gave me to read that you felt link you were in a movie? Thank you!
You're so kind.
Deb
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Poor Cody still fighting for his life, and that killer still roaming free. Despite the tragedy of the situation you still manage to sneak in a laugh or two:"ou'll be dancing by dawn."
"Didn't bring ... the right shoes," Cody whispered.
Jack swallowed and took a slow breath. "Couldn't dance if you did. Shoes don't make the man."
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2020
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Poor Cody still fighting for his life, and that killer still roaming free. Despite the tragedy of the situation you still manage to sneak in a laugh or two:"ou'll be dancing by dawn."
"Didn't bring ... the right shoes," Cody whispered.
Jack swallowed and took a slow breath. "Couldn't dance if you did. Shoes don't make the man."
Comment Written 08-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Iza. It's Such a heavy read. I'm trying to lighten it a bit without turning it into a dramady, which is definitely NOT my intent. (Is that the right word? Drama/comedy?) It's fixing to turn a serious corner, so thank you for hanging in through the hard stuff. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from lyenochka
I'm hoping that someone disconnected the IV a long time ago. Couldn't they do the test on that chemical and shove the syringe into Lehmann? I saw your use of synecdoche! Yes, Mr. Hook-Nose. Good one!
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2020
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I'm hoping that someone disconnected the IV a long time ago. Couldn't they do the test on that chemical and shove the syringe into Lehmann? I saw your use of synecdoche! Yes, Mr. Hook-Nose. Good one!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2020
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The IV was pulled right after the attack, so that's good, at least. I'd be using that syringe, too! Thank you for reading. I know it's a heavy read and I appreciate you.
Belssings,
Deb
Comment from Margaret Bednar
His heart stopped, he almost died, and now this poison is such torture - I can't imagine how a person could survive! The son's anguish is so very real... the tension is high and even the doctors are at each other's throat a bit. I also find it endearing that the brother's banter is still going on to some extent. Your long entries never seem long... :)
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2020
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His heart stopped, he almost died, and now this poison is such torture - I can't imagine how a person could survive! The son's anguish is so very real... the tension is high and even the doctors are at each other's throat a bit. I also find it endearing that the brother's banter is still going on to some extent. Your long entries never seem long... :)
Comment Written 08-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2020
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Your long entries never seem long. " That's good, considering the next one. I think I probably need to divide this one in half, but I have a bsolutely no idea where.
Thank you, sweet friend,
Deb
Comment from royowen
So the drama continues with Cody suffering terribly, somehow because I'm involved, I would liked to have Dr. Kitman to have injected Lehman with the rest of the toxin to give Lehman an incentive to help with development of an anti toxin. Well done Deb, blessings Roy
Typo starin(g) steadily into.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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So the drama continues with Cody suffering terribly, somehow because I'm involved, I would liked to have Dr. Kitman to have injected Lehman with the rest of the toxin to give Lehman an incentive to help with development of an anti toxin. Well done Deb, blessings Roy
Typo starin(g) steadily into.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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Hi Roy! I'm pretty sure I would've given in to the urge to do just that, as well. (Although I hope not!) Thank you for catching the typo. No one else saw it. :)
Blessings,
Deb
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Me too
Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.
There can be no critical review from me on this excellent chapter. I felt like I am right there in the room trying to help. My heart goes out to the mother, brother and son. This is so real!
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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There can be no critical review from me on this excellent chapter. I felt like I am right there in the room trying to help. My heart goes out to the mother, brother and son. This is so real!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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That's the bes comment I could hpe to ever get, Rebecca. If you feel like the characters are real, I've achieved my goal. Now to get them out of this mess!
Blessings and thank you,
Deb
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This is so exciting!
Comment from AJ McCall
This is just perfect Deb. The continuation from the previous chapter is well-done, I love dialogue it was perfect. There wasn't anything I'd say you need to change. And this is taking place in Texas, right? Poor Cody...
Well-written chapter!! I'm using my last stars on this one!!
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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This is just perfect Deb. The continuation from the previous chapter is well-done, I love dialogue it was perfect. There wasn't anything I'd say you need to change. And this is taking place in Texas, right? Poor Cody...
Well-written chapter!! I'm using my last stars on this one!!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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Thank you, AJ! I know how valuable those six stars are, and I am grateful that you saw fit to give them to Cody and Jack. :)
It is in Texas, although I don't think there's a Deer Creek here. It's fictional, but staying closish to home, I get the fauna and flora correct, at least. (Although, in Texas, there's a bit of everything, so that's kind of cheating!)
Don't worry - we'll get those lousy bad guys. :)
Blessings,
Debby
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Don't forget the heat... whoo it gets hot. You're welcome! :)
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Now, AJ, how in the world do you know it gets hot here? We try to keep that a State Secret! lol
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Haha! I live in Tx! lol I think I told you in one of my messages. :)
Comment from roof35
You might prefer a critical review, but there is nothing to criticize. This chapter might be long (you know it rather than now it) but it is riveting. Don't take too long to write the next chapter, I have to know if Cody makes it.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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You might prefer a critical review, but there is nothing to criticize. This chapter might be long (you know it rather than now it) but it is riveting. Don't take too long to write the next chapter, I have to know if Cody makes it.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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Thanks, Root! At least the error is in author notes! lol. I so appreciate the exceptional review! Please let meknow (KNOW lol) if I start to stray, get too wordy, etc. I am, after all, writing this for Y'all. :)
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from Pearl Edwards
"And if he says another word," the petite woman added, "shoot him. Don't kill him. Just shoot him so I can treat him." Her voice held an unexpected, ice-cold edge - loved that.Dr Kitman is a good, strong character and not afraid to say her piece, she comes across well in this chapter Deb.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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"And if he says another word," the petite woman added, "shoot him. Don't kill him. Just shoot him so I can treat him." Her voice held an unexpected, ice-cold edge - loved that.Dr Kitman is a good, strong character and not afraid to say her piece, she comes across well in this chapter Deb.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 07-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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Thank you, Valda! I was a tad worried about that line, so thank you for allaying my worries. My daughter is in the medical field. Kitman is patterned after her -- down to the long, dark hair and tiny frame. And I can hear those words coming out of her mouth, so ? :)
Thank you again. Blessings!
Deb
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
No, you're wrong, it was way too short a chapter! Poor Micheal, he loses his mum, and now he thinks he's going to lose his dad, that would be too cruel to imagine. I would have loved to stick that needle in Lehamm's head! Surely there would be enough in there to do a lot of brain damage! The only problem with this site is, I can't turn the page to read on! Well done, another nail-biting part. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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No, you're wrong, it was way too short a chapter! Poor Micheal, he loses his mum, and now he thinks he's going to lose his dad, that would be too cruel to imagine. I would have loved to stick that needle in Lehamm's head! Surely there would be enough in there to do a lot of brain damage! The only problem with this site is, I can't turn the page to read on! Well done, another nail-biting part. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 07-Jul-2020
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2020
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Sandra, I odn't think this book is bringing out the kinder, gentler side of you! lol. But I'm with you. I'd love to just do these guys in, one at a time. Oh, wait! There are ore chapters coming... lol
I appreciate you so much. Wish we could meet for an ice tea out on the back porch one day, have some brisket and visit under the shade. I guess maybe there'll be a shade tree in Heaven... Until then, though, I'm glad there's FS. :)
Be blessed,
Deb
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LOL!! No, and that is your fault! You are turning me into a monster! LOL. More chapters coming? Wonderful.