Comment from Precious Owuamalam

Excellent

This is just like a real-life story. I mean look at all the energy in your writing. This piece sounds so true! Great job Deb. Finally, Jack saw the hands of God on them

Here:" "Are you okay, Son?" his dad " ''dad" should be "Dad"

"I 'magine he" "Imagine"

Get my mom, Rudy; "mom" should be "Mom".

My very best wishes, now and always!

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020

Thank you, Precious! I checked with a grammar di guide because I wasn't sure, but when 'mom' 'dad', 'son', etc. is proceeded by a possessive adjective suc as 'his' or 'my', it's not a proper noun, so no need to capitalize. :) Thank y you for pointing that out,because I really wasn't sure and now I decided to check for sure. And now we both know. :)
I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter so much. I'm enjoying writing for the mot part. These guys ? they don't always cooperate with me! lol. Blessings and than you again,
Deb

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

How did I miss these chapters, Debby!!! Oh my word, I've been holding my breath all the way through this one. I hope he's going to be alright, at least I can go and check right now! Well done, excellent chapter. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2020

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2020

How DID you miss them? I know -- there's a LOT of great reading here! Glad you cound this as one of them. And, hey, by missing them, you get to read through it almost like it' a book. :)
Be blessed,
Debby

Comment from Margaret Bednar

Exceptional

Honestly, I was so drawn into the continuation of the story that halfway through I thought "I'm not even proofreading". I felt it was all believable, I was caught up in the moment and I think the detail at the hospital is all good too! I just want to read the next chapter!

 Comment Written 28-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020

lol. I've done that! I'm honored that you gave me an exceptional rating and that you got so caught up in the story you missed the booboos. :)
Blessings, have a good week,
Deb

Comment from thaities, Rebecca V.

Excellent

This is a great story full of excitement, emotions, and intrigue. Well done!

Jack followed her. He leaned against the wall just inside the door, trying to be out of the way as he watched them transfer Cody from the gurney to n (an) exam bed..(.)

Kitman's going to want to cross match.""(")

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020

Hi Rebecca! Oh, I hate booboos, but I love folks who find them. :) Thank you.
Until later,
Deb

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

I love this chapter, thanks God you took them out of the woods, and please don't kill Cody:) I kind of like him. You better fetch the bad guys. No joke aside, among the faith for survival, you bring a wave of calmness with this paragraph:"God's closer," his father said, his bass voice filling the car. "He parted the sea to keep the Egyptians away from the Hebrews. I 'magine he can keep those guys away from us." Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 27-Jun-2020

Thank you, Iza! :)
Have a geat weekend,
Blessings,
Deb

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Well, for me Deb, I wouldn't change anything. I didn't skim over any sections, I was in that beat up truck with jack holding his brother's head, with Joe's charcoal eyes watching all. Well done, great chapter, cheers valda

 Comment Written 26-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020

Thanks, Valda! Glad you enjoyed. :)
Be blessed today!
Deb

Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

Hi Deb. This is an action packed chapter to your story. Dialogue is excellent. Believable and shows you have experience with the medical field. There is one place near the beginning where Jack speaks "Code" rather than Cody. Marilyn

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020

Hi Marilyn! Thank you for reading and reviewing. No medical experience, just a lot of research. (And I do hate research! lol) But I'm glad I fooled you! :)
In other chapters, Jack calls Cody 'Code' or 'Code-man'. It's just a nickname. :) (Much nicer than the one my sister calls me!)
Be blessed and many thanks,
Deb

reply by BeasPeas on 26-Jun-2020

Hi Deb. I thought of that, that it might be a nickname. The thing that threw me of was that he said Cody, Code, Cody.

Comment from H. Darwin Reeves

Excellent

This is an enjoyable read. Lot's of action that keeps one turning pages. Sounds like you've been around ER's in some form. Know the lingo and the activity involved. Your faith shines through in your recognition of God's sovereignty: 'If God wants him, you can't hold on tight enough to keep him here' Thanks for posting. God bless each of your ministries.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020

THank you so much! I want my faith to be the biggest part of this action story. I want readers to watch as the ice around Jack's heart thaws and as he comes back to God and realize that they can come back to Him, too. So thank you.
Be blessed in your ministries and your days,
Deb

Comment from roof35

Excellent

You have me rooting for Cody and feeling for Jack and his mother which means this is very good writing. I cannot wait for the next chapter to see what happens next. I only feel bad that I do not have a six star rating left to give you. This is terrific.

 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020

Thank you! I'm hoping to post the next bit of this chapter tonight... maybe. It's already past my beddy-bye time. lol.
BE blessed and, until next time,
Deb

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Well, you wrote a heart-thumping car scene and hospital emergency scene. (I think it could have been broken up into the two scenes.) I wasn't quite sure what was happening during the speeding. I had trouble figuring out where Cody, Jack and Ashton were placed in the car.

"'Great,' Jack thought. (If you are going to share thoughts, I'd suggest italics because in British English single quotes are used for quotations.)
Point of confusion: as they raced to the state park. Who's racing "to" the park? Our heroes are leaving so are the police going to get the assassins?


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 Comment Written 25-Jun-2020

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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020

Hmm ? I"ll change the thoughts to italics. I had the Bible verses like that, but it's Jack thinking them, so that should be okay, right? And how do you know about British English!?
And I'll go in and clarify that the cop cars are going to the state park.
Also, can I ask you something? (I am, just in case you didn't notice.) Jack is completely disillustioned with God,, right? He actually calls Him the Almighty Disappointment in an earlier chapter. So ? he's thinking about God, thinking that they're all alone, no one to guide them or help them, no "all-powerful, all-knowing" one. For believers, we'd cap those names of God. But for Jack, he's being sarcastic and hurt. One reviewer said to cap that because it's disrespectful to have it lower case. L I'm trying to show Jack's emotional state, his spiritual hopelessness. Am I wrong to leave that in lower case? I do not want to disrespect God in any way. Whatcha think?
Blessings and many thanks.
Deb

reply by lyenochka on 26-Jun-2020

The British English I learned right here because we have so many BE writers and I notice that they only use single quotes not double like us using AE. As for the capitalization thing, it's all up to YOU. After all, if you look at more modern translations of the Bible, they do NOT capitalize. The Russian Bible capitalizes even body parts referring to God's like His Hand. But if you go back to the original Hebrew, there are no such things as capitals. In fact, the lower case didn't get invented until the 9th century. So we really shouldn't get hung up on capitalization. Lots of languages (Chinese, Korean, Japanese) have no capital version. God isn't offended.

reply by the author on 26-Jun-2020

Thank you. YOu are a fountain of knowledge. I knew you'd have an answer that made sense to me. :)