haiku (owl observes)
Nature 3-5-3 contest19 total reviews
Comment from dennis0530
True to its nature, the owl keenly observes its prey. Then in a silent and deadly swoop, plucks the prey. Preys are unsuspecting because the predator works in deadly silence.
It does not escape my thinking - about human-owl predators. Though these types may not work silently, their "talons" are just as sharp.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2014
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True to its nature, the owl keenly observes its prey. Then in a silent and deadly swoop, plucks the prey. Preys are unsuspecting because the predator works in deadly silence.
It does not escape my thinking - about human-owl predators. Though these types may not work silently, their "talons" are just as sharp.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2014
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Thank you for this intriguing review!
Comment from mauial
I like the alliteration of the first line, owl observes. The imagery of the poem is quite vivid too. As I can see the owl observing prey and his talons ready for the kill.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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I like the alliteration of the first line, owl observes. The imagery of the poem is quite vivid too. As I can see the owl observing prey and his talons ready for the kill.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you!
Comment from RYME4U
This Haiku is very expressive, The owl behavior is well described and the picture you chose enhances your words.This is a good contest entry.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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This Haiku is very expressive, The owl behavior is well described and the picture you chose enhances your words.This is a good contest entry.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you for your time
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This has uses dramatic, concrete visual imagery in the wording of the poem, and the presentation enhances this. Form and syllable count are correct according to contest criteria. Good luck, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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This has uses dramatic, concrete visual imagery in the wording of the poem, and the presentation enhances this. Form and syllable count are correct according to contest criteria. Good luck, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you Jeanie
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
your syllable count spot on
good visual to portray message
good alliteration in
owl, observes
cheers..Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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good luck in the contest
your syllable count spot on
good visual to portray message
good alliteration in
owl, observes
cheers..Smoothiecool
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you
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welcome..SC
Comment from Dean Kuch
Ah-h-h-h-h... very nice, a 3-5-3 with a predatory, killing theme. Well it's about time!
Wonderful imagery you've created here. Not for the field mouse, or bunny rabbit perhaps, but for your readers, of course.
Well done, and best of luck!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Ah-h-h-h-h... very nice, a 3-5-3 with a predatory, killing theme. Well it's about time!
Wonderful imagery you've created here. Not for the field mouse, or bunny rabbit perhaps, but for your readers, of course.
Well done, and best of luck!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you
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Sure, you're welcome.
Comment from The Death
Hi, mystery writer.
You capture a nice moment in the nature here. Excellent word economy and the presentation is striking as well.
owl observes
unsuspecting prey
talons sharp
You have two juxtaposed images here which one can easily visualize. Nice use of O alliteration and P consonance here.
I stumbled a bit over the satori. 'Talons' is noun and by definition, they already are supposed to be 'sharp', so I didn't get your intent with including it here. It's acting as a filler. You can some other word and make the satori more effective.
It's a nice haiku, overall. Good luck!
Regards,
Anupam
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Hi, mystery writer.
You capture a nice moment in the nature here. Excellent word economy and the presentation is striking as well.
owl observes
unsuspecting prey
talons sharp
You have two juxtaposed images here which one can easily visualize. Nice use of O alliteration and P consonance here.
I stumbled a bit over the satori. 'Talons' is noun and by definition, they already are supposed to be 'sharp', so I didn't get your intent with including it here. It's acting as a filler. You can some other word and make the satori more effective.
It's a nice haiku, overall. Good luck!
Regards,
Anupam
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you for your input
Comment from marion
Hi there
A simple nature haiku describing the owls feeding pattern. I would like to have seen more added depth, something a little more original, but never-the-less is well worded and presented. Good luck in the competition.
Marion.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Hi there
A simple nature haiku describing the owls feeding pattern. I would like to have seen more added depth, something a little more original, but never-the-less is well worded and presented. Good luck in the competition.
Marion.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Really, and please since you asking for "depth?" How would you have worded a three/five/three haiku? I find this review very "inflated," as to the reviewer's point of view. If you really felt this way, you should have given it a lower rating.
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Don't attack! I don't rate lower just because I felt this way. That would be unfair. There is nothing wrong with the wording - hence the five star. I just didn't find any originality in it.
Comment from DanielEkine
Nature of the wild. The predators are sharper than their unexpected preys. Just like the political system and the government. Innocence snatched from their owners. A captivating poetry with a lovely artwork.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Nature of the wild. The predators are sharper than their unexpected preys. Just like the political system and the government. Innocence snatched from their owners. A captivating poetry with a lovely artwork.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Victoria K
You've met the criteria for the 3-5-3 prompt.
You manage to tell a full story, within a short framework. Every word you selected was chosen with care and used to its maximum potential.
Very well done.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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You've met the criteria for the 3-5-3 prompt.
You manage to tell a full story, within a short framework. Every word you selected was chosen with care and used to its maximum potential.
Very well done.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2014
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Thank you, for the wonderful review.