Understanding Humanity
Flash Fiction Contest-Fury28 total reviews
Comment from GoodHearted Woman
Six Stars, however, don't even rate it. Not only the writing, which is always good, but the concept--the idea--. I've read it now about 10 times just because of the amazement I feel each time I do. Wow. This should be Flash Fiction of the Decade!
GoodHearted Woman
  |
Six Stars, however, don't even rate it. Not only the writing, which is always good, but the concept--the idea--. I've read it now about 10 times just because of the amazement I feel each time I do. Wow. This should be Flash Fiction of the Decade!
GoodHearted Woman
Comment Written 17-Nov-2016
Comment from madhatter1977
Interesting post Mikey and well done in the contest! Fundamentally disagree with the character but there you go - a good fictional creation! Hope you are doing well. Your writing is really good - I actually like the swearing and curses! Best wishes, Pete :)
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
 |
Interesting post Mikey and well done in the contest! Fundamentally disagree with the character but there you go - a good fictional creation! Hope you are doing well. Your writing is really good - I actually like the swearing and curses! Best wishes, Pete :)
Comment Written 17-May-2014
reply by the author on 18-May-2014
-
Keep in mind that the "Character" is the winning sperm! This was fun to write. I really hold back on the swearing and curses. This is the FanStory version!! mikey
Comment from Muffins
The first four sentences into the last paragraph is when I got it. This work is unique and unbelievable creative. The ending is delightful. I didn't feel as if I was tricked or let down. All through this, I kept trying to figure out was going on and the ending blew me away; never in a million years would I have guess( before the last paragraph) who was the narrator. Enjoyed reading this so much.
|
The first four sentences into the last paragraph is when I got it. This work is unique and unbelievable creative. The ending is delightful. I didn't feel as if I was tricked or let down. All through this, I kept trying to figure out was going on and the ending blew me away; never in a million years would I have guess( before the last paragraph) who was the narrator. Enjoyed reading this so much.
Comment Written 13-May-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
This was perfect. Flawless, no SPAG in sight. This looks like a winner, a reflection of your work. It reads professionally. A good entry to the flash fiction contest. It has charm. Stoke on, Sir Mikey. wackydo, do loco, Spanish for wackydo I only got five swimmers.
|
This was perfect. Flawless, no SPAG in sight. This looks like a winner, a reflection of your work. It reads professionally. A good entry to the flash fiction contest. It has charm. Stoke on, Sir Mikey. wackydo, do loco, Spanish for wackydo I only got five swimmers.
Comment Written 10-May-2014
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Mikey
This is simply stunning. I'm no expert of flash fiction and have written only a few myself.... I do not know all the requirements. I can say this is succinct and moves at a racing pace. My heartbeat quickens as I read the perilous course of this simmer and so fixed on being the winner. I can see that champion seeking every opportunity and in the final moments, the prize is won. Humanity moves on, the egg fertilised, one life begins its singular journey and the opportunity of others lost.
You have really captured the defining moment, and survival of the fittest and perhaps shone a light on human nature which I, for one hadn't thought about at great depth. The brilliance of your mind shines through in your wee tale. :)) You have expressed 'fury' showing us every effort made and a race to the death. Short sharp sentences highlight the excess of strong will and firm single-mindedness.
A double entendre, really excellent wit shown here. Definitely fast and furious ... I hyperventilated through the entirety of this. LOL. I love the title, and your story 'grabbed me' from the first sentence, you set the scene, provided the conflict and offered an enigmatic conclusion. .... leaving me in awe at the paradox you provide.
Simply brilliant ... did I say that already?? Heheh! Good luck in the contest, an exceptional and most outstanding entry.
reply by the author on 09-May-2014
|
Hi Mikey
This is simply stunning. I'm no expert of flash fiction and have written only a few myself.... I do not know all the requirements. I can say this is succinct and moves at a racing pace. My heartbeat quickens as I read the perilous course of this simmer and so fixed on being the winner. I can see that champion seeking every opportunity and in the final moments, the prize is won. Humanity moves on, the egg fertilised, one life begins its singular journey and the opportunity of others lost.
You have really captured the defining moment, and survival of the fittest and perhaps shone a light on human nature which I, for one hadn't thought about at great depth. The brilliance of your mind shines through in your wee tale. :)) You have expressed 'fury' showing us every effort made and a race to the death. Short sharp sentences highlight the excess of strong will and firm single-mindedness.
A double entendre, really excellent wit shown here. Definitely fast and furious ... I hyperventilated through the entirety of this. LOL. I love the title, and your story 'grabbed me' from the first sentence, you set the scene, provided the conflict and offered an enigmatic conclusion. .... leaving me in awe at the paradox you provide.
Simply brilliant ... did I say that already?? Heheh! Good luck in the contest, an exceptional and most outstanding entry.
Comment Written 09-May-2014
reply by the author on 09-May-2014
-
First of all, Hello!!! I have wondered where you might be. I even sent you a message. What a wonderful review. You have hit on every single thing that I was attempting to do and I feel almost like I know what I am doing!! I am so pleased you enjoyed this. Once the idea popped into my head it was great fun to write. I hope you are well. I even wrote a decent haiku while you were away! Thanks again, mikey
-
Hi dear Mikey
So much to catch up on and I was already behind (as usual) ... possibly because I 'talk' too much and waffle on. Heheh!
I'm sorry I worried you ... I thought my response to your message covered everything, then I realised it was before I was so incapacitated. I possibly missed PMs which were wiped off before I was able to get Nathaniel to read to me. I'm so pleased to be back .... my articulation was rather dithery and I couldn't remember even some simple words. I'm surprised how rapidly it returns. last week I couldn't remember what a gerund (or elipses, etc) was/were .... this week I couldn't for the life of me think of the word enjambment ... though over coffee this morning this great enlightenment came to me. :)
Ah ... the resilience of even an over-worked mushy mulch of grey matter like mine still retains a few drops of reason. :)
I'm looking forward to getting back to the Bard and your poetry .... it will keep me busy back-tracking. Up and away! Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo
Comment from l.raven
Yes!!!Yes!!! I survived my swim up stream...LOL...this reminded me of the movie with Kristie Alley...at the beginning off the show they show the sperm swimming inside her...and the baby is growing and talking...Look who's talking...that is the movie...LOL...A great write anyway...I love it....picture made me laugh...Luff Linda xxoo
|
Yes!!!Yes!!! I survived my swim up stream...LOL...this reminded me of the movie with Kristie Alley...at the beginning off the show they show the sperm swimming inside her...and the baby is growing and talking...Look who's talking...that is the movie...LOL...A great write anyway...I love it....picture made me laugh...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from adewpearl
fascinating premise that only one of the racers will get to live
the other contestants are frequently frantic; they smash - I added the semicolon
Aside, you dolts - add comma for direct address
Worry about yourself, fool - add comma
Die, you bastards - add comma
Oh, I love the reveal! LOL Brooke
|
fascinating premise that only one of the racers will get to live
the other contestants are frequently frantic; they smash - I added the semicolon
Aside, you dolts - add comma for direct address
Worry about yourself, fool - add comma
Die, you bastards - add comma
Oh, I love the reveal! LOL Brooke
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from lancellot
Interesting. It wasn't a surprise, and I like your take on the Fury. You chose to use the single minded driven, definition of the word. Good idea, and it sets your tale apart.
|
Interesting. It wasn't a surprise, and I like your take on the Fury. You chose to use the single minded driven, definition of the word. Good idea, and it sets your tale apart.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from Janie King
Hummmm...this was very interesting and the picture was perfect for the theme of your piece. I've done very little fiction writing. Good luck in the contest. God loves you and so do I.
|
Hummmm...this was very interesting and the picture was perfect for the theme of your piece. I've done very little fiction writing. Good luck in the contest. God loves you and so do I.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from ravenblack
I don't often six prose, but this is it. This works on many levels and teaches not just our primal natures, but the mechanics of life itself, an echo of survival of the fittest. I know this is the race of sperm to egg, the one little swimmer who makes it. I kept thinking of waves racing, one absorbing the others to crash to the beach first. Very unique write.
|
I don't often six prose, but this is it. This works on many levels and teaches not just our primal natures, but the mechanics of life itself, an echo of survival of the fittest. I know this is the race of sperm to egg, the one little swimmer who makes it. I kept thinking of waves racing, one absorbing the others to crash to the beach first. Very unique write.
Comment Written 08-May-2014