The Bard of Bel Air
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Dancing On Thin Ice"A homeless man sees more than people realize.
11 total reviews
Comment from CR Delport
I think if Diamond and Ruby went with Winston, they would've ended up dead somewhere. In Diamond, Lucy might find a strong ally. Another great chapter.
  |
I think if Diamond and Ruby went with Winston, they would've ended up dead somewhere. In Diamond, Lucy might find a strong ally. Another great chapter.
Comment Written 08-May-2014
Comment from seaglass
This is another great chapter. The Blackwell boys now know they're up against someone with guts. Looking forward to the cops arrival and the story they come up with.
|
This is another great chapter. The Blackwell boys now know they're up against someone with guts. Looking forward to the cops arrival and the story they come up with.
Comment Written 07-May-2014
Comment from l.raven
OMG Michael, what a mad house....so now the cops are coming...lets all scatter...LOL...someone is going to get hurt in all this...ok...time to move on the next chapter....loving it...Luff Linda xxoo
|
OMG Michael, what a mad house....so now the cops are coming...lets all scatter...LOL...someone is going to get hurt in all this...ok...time to move on the next chapter....loving it...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 07-May-2014
Comment from Sankey
Good work my friend. Settling in here now. Great read and excitement and idiocy level doing well, hehe.,
A spag or two ok! to dif(f?)use ..I know you guys don't double letter but I do feel this needs it ok.
Another extra letter needed....fer(r)al
|
Good work my friend. Settling in here now. Great read and excitement and idiocy level doing well, hehe.,
A spag or two ok! to dif(f?)use ..I know you guys don't double letter but I do feel this needs it ok.
Another extra letter needed....fer(r)al
Comment Written 06-May-2014
Comment from nancy_e_davis
A few tense moments there Michael. Lucy did a good job saving the day. Now left to their own devices maybe the others will fight it out. I'm sure Winston will come our winner in that scramble. LOL. Well done Nancy
|
A few tense moments there Michael. Lucy did a good job saving the day. Now left to their own devices maybe the others will fight it out. I'm sure Winston will come our winner in that scramble. LOL. Well done Nancy
Comment Written 06-May-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
Lucy got diamond and Ruby out of the house. They are till in danger. The Blackwell's may come together to fight the common enemy. Winston or his agents are going to react soon. Great work.
|
Lucy got diamond and Ruby out of the house. They are till in danger. The Blackwell's may come together to fight the common enemy. Winston or his agents are going to react soon. Great work.
Comment Written 06-May-2014
Comment from Michaelk
Great chapter. You've somehow managed to ramp up the tension even higher. Thank God ruby came to her senses before her and diamond ended up in the fireplace too. I think a reunion is in order between harpster and diamond. I think diamond will slap him as soon as she sees him. And the bard will make up some poem about the complexities of women.
|
Great chapter. You've somehow managed to ramp up the tension even higher. Thank God ruby came to her senses before her and diamond ended up in the fireplace too. I think a reunion is in order between harpster and diamond. I think diamond will slap him as soon as she sees him. And the bard will make up some poem about the complexities of women.
Comment Written 06-May-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Again, tell Harpster to go to the press, not the cops, the press. Local TV station also. Tell his story to the public right away, and Winston won't have a chance to kill him.
Oh, but you can't have him do something that sane and sensible or you novel just became a novella at best or a long short story.
This is why I try REALLY hard not to have my characters do dumb things unless they are dumb characters, like Luke. A smart rich guy with tons of connections goes public. Of course! He doesn't trust the cops or any one person. So, if I were you, I'd hurry up and find a good reason for him NOT to go public and accuse Winston. He has tons of evidence, including the needle mark from the injection and probably still traces of the chemical, etc, etc. Why is he going to stay in hiding??? THAT is what you must figure out and make it believable.
And I know you can do it, after you pulled that last story out with a bizarre but really cool explanation. Here's a chance for your awesome imagination to shine, Mikey! Go for it! :)
|
Again, tell Harpster to go to the press, not the cops, the press. Local TV station also. Tell his story to the public right away, and Winston won't have a chance to kill him.
Oh, but you can't have him do something that sane and sensible or you novel just became a novella at best or a long short story.
This is why I try REALLY hard not to have my characters do dumb things unless they are dumb characters, like Luke. A smart rich guy with tons of connections goes public. Of course! He doesn't trust the cops or any one person. So, if I were you, I'd hurry up and find a good reason for him NOT to go public and accuse Winston. He has tons of evidence, including the needle mark from the injection and probably still traces of the chemical, etc, etc. Why is he going to stay in hiding??? THAT is what you must figure out and make it believable.
And I know you can do it, after you pulled that last story out with a bizarre but really cool explanation. Here's a chance for your awesome imagination to shine, Mikey! Go for it! :)
Comment Written 06-May-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
Excellent and exciting chapter. This came across as very realistic. Diamond couldn't know the real danger she was in. The timing was rxcellent. It was tight, but not silly like in a movie where it is a matter of seconds. Well done. NG
|
Excellent and exciting chapter. This came across as very realistic. Diamond couldn't know the real danger she was in. The timing was rxcellent. It was tight, but not silly like in a movie where it is a matter of seconds. Well done. NG
Comment Written 06-May-2014
Comment from Nosha17
Exciting chapter, I knew Lucy would make it happen. Great story line, wonder how it will end. Hope, happily. I was compared today to an eighteenth century classical poet, so thanks to you and some others on fanstory, guess I am doing well. You never know we might make the big money round the same time. I like to jest! Faye
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
Exciting chapter, I knew Lucy would make it happen. Great story line, wonder how it will end. Hope, happily. I was compared today to an eighteenth century classical poet, so thanks to you and some others on fanstory, guess I am doing well. You never know we might make the big money round the same time. I like to jest! Faye
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-May-2014