River willow
senryu14 total reviews
Comment from Carrie Carson
I didn't realize this was yours. I voted for it...river shade what a blessing in youth. Our wedding song, too, references standing beneath a tree, too.
I hope this won or at least did well. If not, keep your chin up, in my view, often the best one don't fare well. I just noticed on your page, you're a "newbie."
Welcome to Fanstory, I hope you find it at least half as rewarding as I do. There are some mighty talented folks I've found here. And frequently they're more than willing to assist. :) Carrie
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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I didn't realize this was yours. I voted for it...river shade what a blessing in youth. Our wedding song, too, references standing beneath a tree, too.
I hope this won or at least did well. If not, keep your chin up, in my view, often the best one don't fare well. I just noticed on your page, you're a "newbie."
Welcome to Fanstory, I hope you find it at least half as rewarding as I do. There are some mighty talented folks I've found here. And frequently they're more than willing to assist. :) Carrie
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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How sweet are you? Thanks so much for the six star review and warm welcome. Yes, I am having a great time and learning so much. No one realized that senryu is translated to river willow. Cheers Judester
Comment from Righteous Riter
river willow shade
romantic picnic below
vows made yesterday
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is spot on. Good alliteration with river/romantic. Clear message that is short and simple.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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river willow shade
romantic picnic below
vows made yesterday
Good complimentary photo. The syllable count is spot on. Good alliteration with river/romantic. Clear message that is short and simple.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the review, senryu translates to river willow
Comment from Gert sherwood
Smile author
What a nice 5-7-5 poem about being married under a willow tree. Sounds like someone just go married a few days ago
Smiles
Gert
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Smile author
What a nice 5-7-5 poem about being married under a willow tree. Sounds like someone just go married a few days ago
Smiles
Gert
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the review
Comment from Visheshta Dahiya
a very nice poem..!!
a superb selection and use of words.
the words are really awesome and add romance to the poem.
best of luck in the contest.
best wishes
Visheshta
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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a very nice poem..!!
a superb selection and use of words.
the words are really awesome and add romance to the poem.
best of luck in the contest.
best wishes
Visheshta
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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thanks for the review, senryu translates to river willow
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welcome :)
Comment from mauial
Vows made yesterday in the last line fills the prompt requirement of recently married. I like how the poem was a progressive statement of what led to the vows.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Vows made yesterday in the last line fills the prompt requirement of recently married. I like how the poem was a progressive statement of what led to the vows.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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thanks for the review
Comment from barleygirl
This is one of the more romantic & graceful poems in this contest, filled with imagery. This phrase doesn't sound right to me: "vows made" . . . the word "made" seems awkward. Other than that, your poem suggests this couple is taking an nicely untraditional approach toward their honeymoon. Great poem & good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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This is one of the more romantic & graceful poems in this contest, filled with imagery. This phrase doesn't sound right to me: "vows made" . . . the word "made" seems awkward. Other than that, your poem suggests this couple is taking an nicely untraditional approach toward their honeymoon. Great poem & good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the reply, i agree about made,hmm
Comment from Dean Kuch
Nothing like a good picnic to start your life off on the right foot. We had an August wedding outdoors, and it was hot, but fantastic.
Excellent 5-7-5 senryu for this contest. I hope you do really well.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Nothing like a good picnic to start your life off on the right foot. We had an August wedding outdoors, and it was hot, but fantastic.
Excellent 5-7-5 senryu for this contest. I hope you do really well.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the review,senryu translates to river willow
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Oh, I was not aware of that. Thank you! It's true, we learn something new every day.
Comment from akulkumol
So nice, I felt like going there for enjoying a picnic like you did. A beautiful place for summerday picnic. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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So nice, I felt like going there for enjoying a picnic like you did. A beautiful place for summerday picnic. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the review, senryu translates to river willow,cheers
Comment from Leineco
river willow shade
romantic picnic below
vows made yesterday
You paint a lovely picture of
a honey-mooning couple
enjoying a secreted meal of
"a jug of wine, a loaf of bread and" thee.
under the screening leaves of
a river willow tree. :-)
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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river willow shade
romantic picnic below
vows made yesterday
You paint a lovely picture of
a honey-mooning couple
enjoying a secreted meal of
"a jug of wine, a loaf of bread and" thee.
under the screening leaves of
a river willow tree. :-)
Comment Written 10-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the review, senryu translates to river willow, cheers
Comment from Smoothiecool
good luck in the contest
you have the three lines and the correct syllable count
you allow the reader to feel in your few words the romantic picnic under the shade of willow by the river after the wedding day
you have portrayed this well with imagery
flows weel easy read
cheers Smoothiecool
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
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good luck in the contest
you have the three lines and the correct syllable count
you allow the reader to feel in your few words the romantic picnic under the shade of willow by the river after the wedding day
you have portrayed this well with imagery
flows weel easy read
cheers Smoothiecool
Comment Written 09-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the review
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welcome...SC