Contraction
As family shrinks emptiness expands24 total reviews
Comment from Orphan33
Nicely written free verse poem, albeit a little sad. Love your image choice and the construction of this poem. Wish you continued success in all of your writing adventures.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2014
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Nicely written free verse poem, albeit a little sad. Love your image choice and the construction of this poem. Wish you continued success in all of your writing adventures.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
DALLAS01,
I hear you! It's such a strange feeling, isn't it? To have had a family and then, one by one, your family shrinks until you are left living alone.
"new chips in the china reflect heart's hemorrhage" .... so very true!
Excellent write!
Connie
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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DALLAS01,
I hear you! It's such a strange feeling, isn't it? To have had a family and then, one by one, your family shrinks until you are left living alone.
"new chips in the china reflect heart's hemorrhage" .... so very true!
Excellent write!
Connie
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Thanks, Connie, for reviewing. Some of the loses are due to death and of course the others are due to distance.
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In my case, distance, being an empty nester, and divorce has shrunk the size of gatherings around the dinner table. C'est la vie!
Enjoy your Sunday!
Connie
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It's universal. the older we get the more pronounced.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Oh my, Dallas, this beautifully penned free verse truly tugs at the old heartstrings because it is so true...
It is the way you capture the essence of loss--an empty place-setting at a family gathering--that makes this so poignant, stirs such melancholy musings. Our family lost it's matriarch, my wife's beautiful Mother, in 2012. No gathering, no holiday has felt the same since. Perhaps the pain and grief will lessen over time. We still continue to set a place for her at our table during such events. I believe she would have wanted it that way...
Beautifully done, my friend. Simply awesome.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Oh my, Dallas, this beautifully penned free verse truly tugs at the old heartstrings because it is so true...
It is the way you capture the essence of loss--an empty place-setting at a family gathering--that makes this so poignant, stirs such melancholy musings. Our family lost it's matriarch, my wife's beautiful Mother, in 2012. No gathering, no holiday has felt the same since. Perhaps the pain and grief will lessen over time. We still continue to set a place for her at our table during such events. I believe she would have wanted it that way...
Beautifully done, my friend. Simply awesome.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Thanks so much, Dean, for the awesome review and the bonus six. means twice as much coming form a poet like yourself.
Comment from Leineco
A wonderful exercise in self-restraint! I love the simplicity of this. Four domestic articles epitomizing time's passage. A place setting, the china, the silver and the leaf.
each piece returned
personifies impermanence
Powerful impression.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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A wonderful exercise in self-restraint! I love the simplicity of this. Four domestic articles epitomizing time's passage. A place setting, the china, the silver and the leaf.
each piece returned
personifies impermanence
Powerful impression.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the detailed review. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Gloria ....
WOW! Dallas. What an exquisite presentation with this free verse. You've worked the metaphor throughout your poem about the shrinking family and it is left to us ascertain the reasons as there are a few.
This is really very nicely written and presented. Best wishes to you in the contest. This is a strong contender.
Gloria
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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WOW! Dallas. What an exquisite presentation with this free verse. You've worked the metaphor throughout your poem about the shrinking family and it is left to us ascertain the reasons as there are a few.
This is really very nicely written and presented. Best wishes to you in the contest. This is a strong contender.
Gloria
Comment Written 01-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the great review.
Comment from The Boy Whodunnit!
Some really good phrases in this that help deliver your thoughts and ideas.
I really like the way that personifies impermanence sounds, I think this is a great line.
You show some difficult emotions in this, and whilst I enjoyed reading it it does have a sorrowness to it.
BW
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Some really good phrases in this that help deliver your thoughts and ideas.
I really like the way that personifies impermanence sounds, I think this is a great line.
You show some difficult emotions in this, and whilst I enjoyed reading it it does have a sorrowness to it.
BW
Comment Written 01-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from DonandVicki
Good one Dallas, I enjoyed the rhythmic construction of this one. Nice free verse with little punctuation which I like as it frees the reader up. Don
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Good one Dallas, I enjoyed the rhythmic construction of this one. Nice free verse with little punctuation which I like as it frees the reader up. Don
Comment Written 01-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Thanks for the kind review.
Comment from kiwijenny
This is the saddest sign of aging.......family...die or leave......
Beautiful way of expressing it through place settings.....
Beautiful artwork too
God bless
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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This is the saddest sign of aging.......family...die or leave......
Beautiful way of expressing it through place settings.....
Beautiful artwork too
God bless
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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thanks for the kind review.
Comment from nancyjam
I love the symbolism in your beautiful
free verse - chips in the china, tarnished silver boxed up,
the leaf removed from the table - tell the story of the
changes in a family. Perhaps through death, or children
moving away etc. Use of specific details gives a reality to
the situation. Well done. Good luck in the contest. Nancy
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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I love the symbolism in your beautiful
free verse - chips in the china, tarnished silver boxed up,
the leaf removed from the table - tell the story of the
changes in a family. Perhaps through death, or children
moving away etc. Use of specific details gives a reality to
the situation. Well done. Good luck in the contest. Nancy
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thanks for the great review. That's just what happens. doesn't make it any easier.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
What a moving yet clever poem. The family shrinks - the emptiness expands - a very good way of putting it. This is a simple tale so very well told. And it is so true, as the years go by some family members are no loner with us - but we have the pleasure of new ones coming along. Rather a moving poem, very well written.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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What a moving yet clever poem. The family shrinks - the emptiness expands - a very good way of putting it. This is a simple tale so very well told. And it is so true, as the years go by some family members are no loner with us - but we have the pleasure of new ones coming along. Rather a moving poem, very well written.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thank you for the kid review.