Now
A Clarity10 total reviews
Comment from angel123
I enjoyed reading your inspirational poem of Now. It is meaningful and well written and your artwork choice goes well with your thoughts.
Angel123
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2012
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I enjoyed reading your inspirational poem of Now. It is meaningful and well written and your artwork choice goes well with your thoughts.
Angel123
Comment Written 13-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2012
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Hello Angel, I appreciate your stop and am glad that you like the write, thank you very much.
Comment from sherrygreywolf
Nice work and good entry for the contest. Don't know that I agree with the next-to-the-last line, but that's just my opinion. Good job.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2012
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Nice work and good entry for the contest. Don't know that I agree with the next-to-the-last line, but that's just my opinion. Good job.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2012
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Hello Sherry, I appreciate your time and the wonderful review, thank you very much.
Comment from Joan E.
This post must be for a blind contest, since I did not get an alert for it (Fortunately, I was checking out your portfolio, just in case, before I leave on my trip.) I enjoyed your inspirational clarity and the added emphasis with the repeat at the end. Your "grapes/raisins" analogy is quite effective. -Joan
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2012
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This post must be for a blind contest, since I did not get an alert for it (Fortunately, I was checking out your portfolio, just in case, before I leave on my trip.) I enjoyed your inspirational clarity and the added emphasis with the repeat at the end. Your "grapes/raisins" analogy is quite effective. -Joan
Comment Written 10-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2012
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Joan my friend, so kind of you to visit my profile; I am happy you like the write, I appreciate your time and the wonderful review, thank you very much.
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My pleasure--hope your poem does/did well in the contest. -J
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My entries in any contest don't do that well, but I am content with the reviews I get; you have a wonderful trip my friend, weather here is quite pleasant so you won't miss the Southern Cal weather, God bless.
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The main thing is that we keep writing and feeling content! I only enter FS contests on the assumption that more folks will read my work, and I will improve my writing by learning from their reviews.
It's 108 in Redding now, but tomorrow we will start attending plays in Ashland, Oregon, where it should be cooler. Thanks again for your good wishes. Hugs- Joan
Comment from Earl of Oxford
Excellent post my friend, though of course I don't understand the last line.
'Grapes are luscious than raisins' - the grammar here isn't quite right, as it should read 'more luscious', but I assume you're adhering to a specific meter count.
Maybe: ['Grapes are riper than raisins'] which corrects the grammar, retains the count, adds 'r' alliteration and is also a metaphor in that grapes are to be enjoyed in the present, but they shrivel up to raisins in the future? Just an idea, and I hope yoo're not offended. I just couldn't help a fiddle. :-)
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Excellent post my friend, though of course I don't understand the last line.
'Grapes are luscious than raisins' - the grammar here isn't quite right, as it should read 'more luscious', but I assume you're adhering to a specific meter count.
Maybe: ['Grapes are riper than raisins'] which corrects the grammar, retains the count, adds 'r' alliteration and is also a metaphor in that grapes are to be enjoyed in the present, but they shrivel up to raisins in the future? Just an idea, and I hope yoo're not offended. I just couldn't help a fiddle. :-)
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 09-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Ray my friend, I am honored by your visit and the wonderful review as well as the excellent suggestion (done); I thank you very much. Here's a remedy for your flu: warm cup of milk with honey and add a pinch of pepper and turmeric powder...a traditional Indian remedy for colds. Again, thank you and take care sir.
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I'm honoured you took my suggestion - I checked out your portfolio so didn't mention your name as I realised it's an anonymous contest.
Your remedy sounds yummy, though the shops are closed here and I'm out of milk and honey. I've printed it off and will give it a go tomorrow.
That's very thoughtful of you, so here's a big PLATONIC kiss on your cheak...X :-)
Ray
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Grapes are luscious than raisins
(could I suggest more luscious rather than are luscious?)
Just a thought. A lovely poem. Good luck in the contest!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Grapes are luscious than raisins
(could I suggest more luscious rather than are luscious?)
Just a thought. A lovely poem. Good luck in the contest!!! Debbie
Comment Written 09-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Hello Debbie, my friend, I appreciate your visit and the wonderful suggestion; I'll take a look...have to consider the syllable count too; thank you very much.
Comment from ernesto escarro
Now
The present, which is he future expected, come the momentin random.
Grapes to taste are raisins processed in the machine.
Seize this in the actual manner how they come and get realized.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Now
The present, which is he future expected, come the momentin random.
Grapes to taste are raisins processed in the machine.
Seize this in the actual manner how they come and get realized.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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ernesto my friend, I thank you for your time and the wonderful insights, take care.
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Thanks.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, mystery writer, you did a great job writing this clarity poem about enjoying the fruits of today while they're still fresh. i wish you the best of luck in the contest
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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this is very well written, mystery writer, you did a great job writing this clarity poem about enjoying the fruits of today while they're still fresh. i wish you the best of luck in the contest
Comment Written 09-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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swj my friend, I appreciate your time and the wonderful review, thank you very much, God bless.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Looks like you have fulfilled the requirements for this form and I liked the ending with its seize the day message.
One niggle: Grapes are luscious than raisins doesn't make sense as it stands. The word 'more' seems to be missing, but that would cripple your syllable count. How about 'Grapes are sweeter...' - keeps the basic meaning and fixes the spag while maintaining 7 syllables...
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Looks like you have fulfilled the requirements for this form and I liked the ending with its seize the day message.
One niggle: Grapes are luscious than raisins doesn't make sense as it stands. The word 'more' seems to be missing, but that would cripple your syllable count. How about 'Grapes are sweeter...' - keeps the basic meaning and fixes the spag while maintaining 7 syllables...
Comment Written 09-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Hello kiwitseveh, my friend, I appreciate your visit and the wonderful review/suggestion; would definitely take a look; thank you very much.
Comment from Enrique28
Yes I agree! Make the most of the present because it's all we have. A fine philosophical statement in a clever little verse. Good show!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Yes I agree! Make the most of the present because it's all we have. A fine philosophical statement in a clever little verse. Good show!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Hello Enrique, my friend, I appreciate your time and the wonderful review, thank you very much.
Comment from visionary1234
Love the sentiment of course, but "Grapes are luscious than raisins" doesn't yet make sense??? more luscious, absolutely!!! what do you think? Carpe diem!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Love the sentiment of course, but "Grapes are luscious than raisins" doesn't yet make sense??? more luscious, absolutely!!! what do you think? Carpe diem!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Hello visionary, my friend, I appreciate your time and the wonderful review as well as the suggestion; would take a look at it...you see, I have to consider the syllable count as well; again, I thank you for the visit and kind comments.
