Child Abuse
Warning! This is a raw biographical write41 total reviews
Comment from Bunglie
Wow, I am in the U.K. and you say exactly what my therapist said. I do believe that we show others that we are abuse material. I was abused at home and then once I was in care by a famous celebrity. I now have what I call an abuse radar, many people claim abuse but many were not, this makes life difficult for those who were...it took me 30 years to say anything and that was over 20 years ago.
Your writing is so matter of fact and to the point, I congratulate you in being able to write so concisely about a topic that others do not wish to know about. Well done.
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Wow, I am in the U.K. and you say exactly what my therapist said. I do believe that we show others that we are abuse material. I was abused at home and then once I was in care by a famous celebrity. I now have what I call an abuse radar, many people claim abuse but many were not, this makes life difficult for those who were...it took me 30 years to say anything and that was over 20 years ago.
Your writing is so matter of fact and to the point, I congratulate you in being able to write so concisely about a topic that others do not wish to know about. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2019
Comment from gen83
what a powerful peiece of writing.
i am a survivor of chid abuse,neglect,torture and abandonment, i use my poetry as a way to deal with my emotions. i am yet to write about my story and one day i will. my therapist tells me i am one in a million with my strength and resilience, i choose not to be beaten by the happenings of my past, i choose to be strong for my sons sake and my husbands sake and to fight for all those who have suffered and lost thier childhood at the hands of others. the bit about your sister surrounding herself with cats hit home with me, i have 3 cats 2 dogs 2 birds and family of magpies that visit me every morning for a feed, i would have more if my husband allowed me, and i save and re home a lot of strays, i always felt closer to animals than people probably due to the fact that they give you unconditional love and have a way of making you feel safe and loved. oh crap sorry for the rambling , i get a bit carried away sometimes lol anyway much love to you and what a great piece of writing. x
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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what a powerful peiece of writing.
i am a survivor of chid abuse,neglect,torture and abandonment, i use my poetry as a way to deal with my emotions. i am yet to write about my story and one day i will. my therapist tells me i am one in a million with my strength and resilience, i choose not to be beaten by the happenings of my past, i choose to be strong for my sons sake and my husbands sake and to fight for all those who have suffered and lost thier childhood at the hands of others. the bit about your sister surrounding herself with cats hit home with me, i have 3 cats 2 dogs 2 birds and family of magpies that visit me every morning for a feed, i would have more if my husband allowed me, and i save and re home a lot of strays, i always felt closer to animals than people probably due to the fact that they give you unconditional love and have a way of making you feel safe and loved. oh crap sorry for the rambling , i get a bit carried away sometimes lol anyway much love to you and what a great piece of writing. x
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2014
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I'm still not okay, in case you were wondering... Overcompensating, deliberately dedicating my leftovers to my son--who I already forty, waiting for something or someone to make me feel honest.
Comment from bluemlein
i would like to raise the stars by a magnitude but cannot.
this is a raw and honest description of what too many women (and some men) have suffered within that supposed sactum sanctorum, the family. it should appear in magazines like Chatelaine, MS, Redbook, Good Housekeeping and any other publication that reaches women - and men, who need to free themselves equally from the toxic stereotypes that remain in some segments of society.
we like to pretend that we are so much better than the penniless yemeni people who sell their young daughters into brutalization by marriage. yes, we ask in all seriousness, how can a woman let this happen to her daughters? but it is what they were schooled in, it is all they know, just as the behaviours described in this essay were all that they knew. we behave as we are schooled, unless we make deliberate efforts to free ourselves; not everyone can.
the writer has presented a slice of life that puts paid to that Fifties' idiocy, sham and pretence that every family lived in a fine house on a block-sized, picket-fenced lot, dad worked hard and provided humorous but firm guidance, the children obeyed and mom, be-aproned, baked cookies. the first and second waves of feminism were not enough. this is part of the third. long may it be read.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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i would like to raise the stars by a magnitude but cannot.
this is a raw and honest description of what too many women (and some men) have suffered within that supposed sactum sanctorum, the family. it should appear in magazines like Chatelaine, MS, Redbook, Good Housekeeping and any other publication that reaches women - and men, who need to free themselves equally from the toxic stereotypes that remain in some segments of society.
we like to pretend that we are so much better than the penniless yemeni people who sell their young daughters into brutalization by marriage. yes, we ask in all seriousness, how can a woman let this happen to her daughters? but it is what they were schooled in, it is all they know, just as the behaviours described in this essay were all that they knew. we behave as we are schooled, unless we make deliberate efforts to free ourselves; not everyone can.
the writer has presented a slice of life that puts paid to that Fifties' idiocy, sham and pretence that every family lived in a fine house on a block-sized, picket-fenced lot, dad worked hard and provided humorous but firm guidance, the children obeyed and mom, be-aproned, baked cookies. the first and second waves of feminism were not enough. this is part of the third. long may it be read.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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You might want to read my book 'A Pointless Life' that talks about how the world changed from 1950,the year I was born and my journey out of abuse to a new war fighting as a feminist. I think you'd get a lot out of it, but be waned if you start the read. I haven't gone back to edit a second or third time. Once I finished the obsessive writing I went through for a couple of months I closed the file and haven't gone back.
Comment from barleygirl
Thank you for the impactful essay. I was sexually & forcibly abused by my dad on a regular basis, along with my 2 sisters, & I can relate to everything you've shared here. No matter how many times we purge ourselves by writing or talking about it, the intensity remains inside, even if we've managed to subdue it into a dull ache. Oprah has often said my favorite phrase regarding this topic: "My dad killed the woman I might've been." I did turn out pretty good, but nowhere near my potential, as I'm constantly dragged down by my inner pain & distrust. Thanks for putting your voice to this topic, a topic that's barely been revealed to the extent that it actually happens.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the impactful essay. I was sexually & forcibly abused by my dad on a regular basis, along with my 2 sisters, & I can relate to everything you've shared here. No matter how many times we purge ourselves by writing or talking about it, the intensity remains inside, even if we've managed to subdue it into a dull ache. Oprah has often said my favorite phrase regarding this topic: "My dad killed the woman I might've been." I did turn out pretty good, but nowhere near my potential, as I'm constantly dragged down by my inner pain & distrust. Thanks for putting your voice to this topic, a topic that's barely been revealed to the extent that it actually happens.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2013
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I love the Oprah quote....so very true, but upon occasion, I wonder whether we would have become who we are without that trauma. We had to fight so much harder for actualization, self worth and most of our opinions. Maybe we would have remained mediocre, but having said that, what's wrong with that?
Being dragged down by mistrust is a life long symptom. Once we find our own voice we can becoe very opinionated and not likely to allow anyone to shatter the armour it took a lifetime to construct.
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I see what you mean, & good point. I didn't live up to my potential, for sure . . . but I did end up reaching a very different pinnacle of strength & honesty.
Comment from justmarly
any man was better than (NO Man) Thought I'd put that in. It just was something you overlooked. This a good story for all who has gone through the same thing. It is never good to have to go through this. Its too bad this happens. Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 25-May-2013
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any man was better than (NO Man) Thought I'd put that in. It just was something you overlooked. This a good story for all who has gone through the same thing. It is never good to have to go through this. Its too bad this happens. Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 25-May-2013
reply by the author on 25-May-2013
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No child should go through this, but at least today it isn't hidden. Thanks.
Comment from MandyLina
This is very sad and emotional. Even if I wasn't abused myself, I would feel your pain. Very good. Raw pain. It helps the reader connect. I'm sorry this happened to you.
reply by the author on 28-May-2012
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This is very sad and emotional. Even if I wasn't abused myself, I would feel your pain. Very good. Raw pain. It helps the reader connect. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Comment Written 27-May-2012
reply by the author on 28-May-2012
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It happens to too many...thanks for reading, ingrid
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your welcome. I like your work.
-Mandy
Comment from Donya Quijote
Wow! How awful and yet...! I'm left virtually speechless after reading your essay. The tale you tell and experiences you experienced are/were indeed terrible, yet through out your essay you have woven a thread of hope, the hope of healing, into each paragraph. You message of don't give up or give in and to move on are clear. I did originally find a few minor issues but I was so moved to keep reading that have forgotten them and can not find them. Thank you for sharing your story.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2012
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Wow! How awful and yet...! I'm left virtually speechless after reading your essay. The tale you tell and experiences you experienced are/were indeed terrible, yet through out your essay you have woven a thread of hope, the hope of healing, into each paragraph. You message of don't give up or give in and to move on are clear. I did originally find a few minor issues but I was so moved to keep reading that have forgotten them and can not find them. Thank you for sharing your story.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2012
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And it doesn't matter. This was not posted as a competition, but rather an acknowledgement of understanding for fearful people who think they will be judged.
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If only we understood and would abide by maxim to judge not, people who are hurt and hurting would not be afraid to tell or seek help. Thank you once again for sharing...
Comment from Skyangel02
It is very true that the victims of abuse are tainted for life and none get over the inner pain and emotional trauma it caused them. The scars always remain. However, at least those of us who have experienced these things do understand the people who go through the same experiences and do not ignore their cries for help. It is really sad when children try to tell adults something and the adults refuse to believe them.
No wonder so many people end up in despair.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2012
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It is very true that the victims of abuse are tainted for life and none get over the inner pain and emotional trauma it caused them. The scars always remain. However, at least those of us who have experienced these things do understand the people who go through the same experiences and do not ignore their cries for help. It is really sad when children try to tell adults something and the adults refuse to believe them.
No wonder so many people end up in despair.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2012
What is your real name? I'd like to know.
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My name is Angelica. People call me Angel for short.
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It's a very pretty name. I will call you Angelica.
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What would you like me to call you?
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Well I suppose your royal highness is out of the question, so you might try ingrid on your good says or bitch face when you are feeling confrontational.
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It's nice to know you also have a sense of humor, your royal highness. ;-)
I am always confrontational when I am looking at myself in the mirror and I see much of myself in those I confront. Please remember that when you feel confronted by me.
Comment from sunao
Thank you for telling me your story. I am so sorry that you had to go through sexual abuse and as you said, it is NOT your fault. But by telling other people, in some way solace is sought and it encourages others to speak up too. I believe that if many people speak up, the society will react by changing laws that are created in the benefit of men
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2012
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Thank you for telling me your story. I am so sorry that you had to go through sexual abuse and as you said, it is NOT your fault. But by telling other people, in some way solace is sought and it encourages others to speak up too. I believe that if many people speak up, the society will react by changing laws that are created in the benefit of men
Comment Written 11-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2012
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It is so much better now. Any suspect of abuse is investigated and laws have been changed so that the police or government lays charges, not the victim.
It's important that we remember that every child is an adult in training and will be part of soceity. We need to respect their innocence as well as teach them how to be responsible adults.
But, when you are in the middle of it sometimes you can't believe in anything let alone people who might care. By talking out loud we remind ourselves and others to be vigilant. One day they may be your neighbour.
Thank you for a very generous review.
Comment from Krista-Michelle
I love this true story. Thank you for writing about your painful past, and please continue teaching the world, and helping those who are willing to be helped through your words, kindess and listening ear. Please don't stop teaching, there are more people who do listen than we realize. And only a handful reply back to thank you for helping them. Continue writing, sharing, teaching and helping.
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I love this true story. Thank you for writing about your painful past, and please continue teaching the world, and helping those who are willing to be helped through your words, kindess and listening ear. Please don't stop teaching, there are more people who do listen than we realize. And only a handful reply back to thank you for helping them. Continue writing, sharing, teaching and helping.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2012