Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Rejected"for various occasions
35 total reviews
Comment from jacquelyn popp
This poem is a masterclass in emotional tension and poetic craft. With exquisite control of meter and rhyme, it captures the aching hope, self-doubt, and moral struggle of a love not yet realized. The imagery is both tender and striking-from the flush of anticipation to the symbolic rejection of an unripe orange. The final couplet lands like a quiet heartbreak, leaving the reader suspended between desire and patience. A thought-provoking and beautifully rendered piece that lingers long after the last line.
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This poem is a masterclass in emotional tension and poetic craft. With exquisite control of meter and rhyme, it captures the aching hope, self-doubt, and moral struggle of a love not yet realized. The imagery is both tender and striking-from the flush of anticipation to the symbolic rejection of an unripe orange. The final couplet lands like a quiet heartbreak, leaving the reader suspended between desire and patience. A thought-provoking and beautifully rendered piece that lingers long after the last line.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
Comment from Karen Denise
This is extremely well done! I enjoyed the rhymes and the word choices. I found it to be extremely clever upon realizing the banana twist. It's such a brilliant and creative take on unrequited love!
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This is extremely well done! I enjoyed the rhymes and the word choices. I found it to be extremely clever upon realizing the banana twist. It's such a brilliant and creative take on unrequited love!
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
Comment from tfawcus
The internal lines add to the rhythmic appeal and I can imagine they'd sound good in a song.
Who'd have guessed what a fruity little sonnet this turned out to be? She doesn't know what she missed. Overripe bananas are the best.
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The internal lines add to the rhythmic appeal and I can imagine they'd sound good in a song.
Who'd have guessed what a fruity little sonnet this turned out to be? She doesn't know what she missed. Overripe bananas are the best.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
Comment from Jessica Wheeler
Perfection. There are countless aspects of this piece I find brilliant: The title, the meter/rhyme, how it's both hilarious AND true to form (to name a few). However, what I love most of all, is the fact that it won THIS contest. Bananas-in the best way.
Well done, daddy.
Xo
Jess
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Perfection. There are countless aspects of this piece I find brilliant: The title, the meter/rhyme, how it's both hilarious AND true to form (to name a few). However, what I love most of all, is the fact that it won THIS contest. Bananas-in the best way.
Well done, daddy.
Xo
Jess
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Congrats and yes I love this poem as well, especially these lines; "I feel my darling's gaze upon my skin
Can love begin as lust and still be true?
Will passion screw my mind so deep within
That mortal sin's the price of having you?
"Not ripe enough": her words have rent my heart;
She puts an orange in her shopping cart." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
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Congrats and yes I love this poem as well, especially these lines; "I feel my darling's gaze upon my skin
Can love begin as lust and still be true?
Will passion screw my mind so deep within
That mortal sin's the price of having you?
"Not ripe enough": her words have rent my heart;
She puts an orange in her shopping cart." Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation.
-You wrote a good sonnet;
I can see why you won.
-The music was good, too.
-A very good opening verse sets the scene.
-You follow that well about "true love waiting."
-A very good volta with questions as to
whether this is a true love or not.
-A very good closing couplet.
-Very well done.
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-Nice artwork and presentation.
-You wrote a good sonnet;
I can see why you won.
-The music was good, too.
-A very good opening verse sets the scene.
-You follow that well about "true love waiting."
-A very good volta with questions as to
whether this is a true love or not.
-A very good closing couplet.
-Very well done.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
This is a very interesting poem. I had to reread the poem just to make it make sense. It wasn't until I saw your notes that I realized it was a banana. Sometimes I am a little slow on the uptake.
Congrats on your 1st place win
Cecilia
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This is a very interesting poem. I had to reread the poem just to make it make sense. It wasn't until I saw your notes that I realized it was a banana. Sometimes I am a little slow on the uptake.
Congrats on your 1st place win
Cecilia
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
Comment from Kirsten Shonle
The rhyming for this poem is spectacular. It is not contrived. I like the fact that it talks about the fact that true love is hard to find and it is not merely that of lust.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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The rhyming for this poem is spectacular. It is not contrived. I like the fact that it talks about the fact that true love is hard to find and it is not merely that of lust.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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Thanks so much! I just threw the lyrics into an AI music engine and one of the results may have some potential.
🦍
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I sense within a touch a brilliance that is well above my intellect. I read it thrice as I was drawn to it as a moth to a lamp but dang my Southern lifestyle kept me scratching my head thinking it was a love sonnet not a shopping spree for a bruised fruit.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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I sense within a touch a brilliance that is well above my intellect. I read it thrice as I was drawn to it as a moth to a lamp but dang my Southern lifestyle kept me scratching my head thinking it was a love sonnet not a shopping spree for a bruised fruit.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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Thank you Tom. Your writing is no less brilliant than mine, just a different genre, and I admire it greatly. I just start with really stupid ideas and keep poking at them until they die or mushrooms start growing out of the turds. Maybe someday we can collaborate on a project.
BTW I just threw the lyrics on this into an AI music engine and one of the results may have some potential. If you get a change to listen, let me know what you think!
Thanks again,
🦍
Comment from jake cosmos aller
brilliant Shakespearean sonnet bout going to a supermarket to look for fruit while on the way to visit your secret lover and realizing perhaps that it is just lust and not true love
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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brilliant Shakespearean sonnet bout going to a supermarket to look for fruit while on the way to visit your secret lover and realizing perhaps that it is just lust and not true love
Comment Written 16-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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Thanks so much Jake! The idea was that the banana is fantasizing about its consumption/consumation by a customer, but I love that others came up with multiple interpretations. Hahaha.
BTW I just threw the lyrics on this into an AI music engine and one of the results may have some potential. See what you think!
Thanks again,
🦍
