Eyes Wide Open
I wrote it in grad school, for a class White Privilege.8 total reviews
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
It sounds like you are testing the waters here at FanStory, posting an older piece to see what kind of reaction you get.
It is a powerful poem, and I'm always glad to see someone's eyes opened; this usually comes with education, as was the case for you.
A powerful piece, but next time I would place it with the poems instead of prose.
I know you can't switch it now, but I'm certain it won't be considered for the non-fiction writing contest, as that it for prose.
Take some time to look at the contests, then perhaps write something new and original to enter.
Hope to read more from you soon.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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It sounds like you are testing the waters here at FanStory, posting an older piece to see what kind of reaction you get.
It is a powerful poem, and I'm always glad to see someone's eyes opened; this usually comes with education, as was the case for you.
A powerful piece, but next time I would place it with the poems instead of prose.
I know you can't switch it now, but I'm certain it won't be considered for the non-fiction writing contest, as that it for prose.
Take some time to look at the contests, then perhaps write something new and original to enter.
Hope to read more from you soon.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 13-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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Hi Pam,
I don't know my way around here. I sent a message to the support team, stating that I had posted the poem before and that someone had a such a negative review to parts of it, so I re-wrote it. I was unaware that i had posted it erroneously in a literary contest. It will never happen again. Thanks for the review.
ciao, Jeanine ✍️🇫🇷❤️
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You'll get the hang of it:-)
Comment from Karen Cherry
You put this poem in the short story category. And the contest did not say you couldn't write poetry, but unless they ask for it, they usually don't want it. And, contests must be new material, not old stuff. Just so you know. You can post old stuff. But contests are picky. You have time to write something. Karen
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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You put this poem in the short story category. And the contest did not say you couldn't write poetry, but unless they ask for it, they usually don't want it. And, contests must be new material, not old stuff. Just so you know. You can post old stuff. But contests are picky. You have time to write something. Karen
Comment Written 13-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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Hello Karen,
I don't know my way around here. I sent a message to the support team, stating that I had posted the poem before and that someone had a such a negative review to parts of it, so I re-wrote it. I was unaware that I had posted it erroneously in a literary contest. It will never happen again. Thanks for the review.
Ciao, Jeanine ✍️❤️
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Keeping vigilant when it comes to racism and violence is prudent as this kind of behaviour must never be ignored. This is an important message to deliver, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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Keeping vigilant when it comes to racism and violence is prudent as this kind of behaviour must never be ignored. This is an important message to deliver, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 13-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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Dear Dolly;
Thank you for your words of wisdom. It truly has become worse in our violent, political society. I love our country and fear another trump presidency. I pray every day for peace. Ciao, Jeanine
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
Oh I wish I had a 6. This is wonderful and how I wish every person in America would be required to take that class, including and especially those people in Washington. Great job.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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Oh I wish I had a 6. This is wonderful and how I wish every person in America would be required to take that class, including and especially those people in Washington. Great job.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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Hi Marilyn,
Thanks for your positive review; I very much appreciate your keen insights into my poem. It's amazing that what was so true in 2007, is even worse now in our highly-charged, violent, political society.. Cheers, Jeanine✍️❤️. P.S. Thanks for the "6".
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well done. I have no doubt that 'white privilege' exists, but as in all things, there are exceptions.
But take the case of traffic stops. I tend to drive fairly aggressively. And as a result have been pulled over dozens and dozens of times. 99% of the time I got a warning, no ticket. 100% of the time I was not required to get out of my car or given any hassle whatsoever. I am white.
I owned 2 business from 2001-2019. The bank literally threw 100% loan money at me. All I had to do was ask. I don't know, but I doubt the same enthusiasm if I was brown or black. But what was I to do? "Oh, no. You should throw me to the ground and put your foot on my neck... Oh, no. You should deny me the loan."
Thank you for posting.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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Well done. I have no doubt that 'white privilege' exists, but as in all things, there are exceptions.
But take the case of traffic stops. I tend to drive fairly aggressively. And as a result have been pulled over dozens and dozens of times. 99% of the time I got a warning, no ticket. 100% of the time I was not required to get out of my car or given any hassle whatsoever. I am white.
I owned 2 business from 2001-2019. The bank literally threw 100% loan money at me. All I had to do was ask. I don't know, but I doubt the same enthusiasm if I was brown or black. But what was I to do? "Oh, no. You should throw me to the ground and put your foot on my neck... Oh, no. You should deny me the loan."
Thank you for posting.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2025
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Hi Wayne,
Thank you for your up beat review! Being black and brown. In our society poses many challenges. Change has to come to and I fear it will be a long time under trump's presidency Thanks for the review, Jeanine
Cheers, Jeanine
Comment from Elias Noor
"Eyes Wide Open" is a compelling and honest reflection on confronting systemic racism and the responsibility that comes with awareness. With a few more personal touches and emotional nuances, it could become even more powerful. The poem effectively challenges readers to open their own eyes and examine uncomfortable truths, leaving a lasting impression.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2025
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"Eyes Wide Open" is a compelling and honest reflection on confronting systemic racism and the responsibility that comes with awareness. With a few more personal touches and emotional nuances, it could become even more powerful. The poem effectively challenges readers to open their own eyes and examine uncomfortable truths, leaving a lasting impression.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2025
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Dear Elias,
Thank you for your perceptive insights. When I wrote this poem for the class, I had two defining feelings; one was extreme empathy for the wounded; the other intorlerable anger at the "White Man" for injustice, cruelty and discrimination. My empathy knows no bounds for the "underdog". I am grateful that I can express those emotions through my poetry. Jeanine
Comment from Brandon Tarvin
I really like this one! The rhyme scheme is clear and the message is clearer. I love the emphasis on how the discrimination affected you. Thanks for the good read. Keep writing!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2025
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I really like this one! The rhyme scheme is clear and the message is clearer. I love the emphasis on how the discrimination affected you. Thanks for the good read. Keep writing!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2025
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Hi Brandon,
Thank you for this wonderful upbeat response. It is one of my best and favorite poems. It rings so true; it amazes me that what was true in 2007 is even more so now than ever. Have a wonderful day! cheers, Jeanine
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really enjoyed your poem! The way you describe the journey of learning
is so well done. I love how you use "eyes wide open" to show change. For me it really captures the feeling of realizing something new. Your words are clear and strong. They make the message feel personal. The ending is perfect. Great work! Keep sharing these important thoughts with us.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2025
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I really enjoyed your poem! The way you describe the journey of learning
is so well done. I love how you use "eyes wide open" to show change. For me it really captures the feeling of realizing something new. Your words are clear and strong. They make the message feel personal. The ending is perfect. Great work! Keep sharing these important thoughts with us.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2025
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Dear Michael,
Thank you for your insightful words about my poem. Looking back I barely remember writing it. But I do remember the class and how outraged I was at learning what lay beneath the surface. I was aware, but it really hit home with me. I love this positive response. Be well,
cheers,
Jeanine
