Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "Chapter 29 A Willing Hearts"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
25 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Barbara,
This is a nice installment to your story. You use dialogue to further your story and your characters feel real.
Note: in the fourth paragraph, you write, "there's three men...Since 3 men are plural, the first word should be "there 'are,' , not the contraction for 'there is.'
Nice work.
Cindy
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2025
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Barbara,
This is a nice installment to your story. You use dialogue to further your story and your characters feel real.
Note: in the fourth paragraph, you write, "there's three men...Since 3 men are plural, the first word should be "there 'are,' , not the contraction for 'there is.'
Nice work.
Cindy
Comment Written 08-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2025
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Very true, but's in dialogue and most people don't speak grammatically correct, so would say There's. If it were in narrative, it would be there are. Thank you for questioning it. I hope that explains it.
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It does, thank you, Barbara. Your stories have content and form )grammar and punctuation; I'm better at content, not form, because in college I wrote essays and human interest stories with not much dialogue.
Good luck with your book.
Blessings,
Cindy
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Dialogue is tricky. It needs to sound natural as people speak. I'm writing a novel now, where the heroine's parents speak very formal and I'm struggling with it. I'll start posting it in a few weeks.
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Barbara,
I'm slowly working on a story that requires some of the characters to speak colloquially. It is a difficult task. I like Sandra Stoner Mitchell's work, too. She's from Britain and does a great "cockney" accent.
I'm sure you'll do well Barbara. Your dialogue is always excellent.
Blessings,
Cindy
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I like Sandra's work too. She's very good. Thank you.
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😊
Comment from judiverse
I'm so glad you had a wonderful time with your family. Funny picture of the dachshund with a hammer. What a terrible thing to have your place broken into like that. Sami handled the situation well. I hope you don't mind my suggestion that you trim some of these concluding chapters. It seems like there's so much of the same--Sami needs rescuing and then the repeated moments of romance. I don't know whether I mentioned it last time, but I'm glad they saw a Sherlock Holmes play. judi
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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I'm so glad you had a wonderful time with your family. Funny picture of the dachshund with a hammer. What a terrible thing to have your place broken into like that. Sami handled the situation well. I hope you don't mind my suggestion that you trim some of these concluding chapters. It seems like there's so much of the same--Sami needs rescuing and then the repeated moments of romance. I don't know whether I mentioned it last time, but I'm glad they saw a Sherlock Holmes play. judi
Comment Written 07-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Thank you for kind this review. I will think about trimming some.
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You're very welcome. I hope you didn't mind my thoughts on the length. I know you always do a lot of editing before you're finished. I hope you'll have some more opportunities coming up soon for library appearances. judi
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I never mind your thoughts. They cause me to think. That's why I post on FanStory, not for the rankings or any other reason. My publisher, Kevin wants me to go straight to him, but I refuse. I need to know if I need to rethink something.
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It's your writing, so you should get final say. I believe it was Agatha Christie who didn't want anyone messing with her spelling. judi
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We all have our own voice and need to retain it in our writing.
Comment from Teri7
I am so glad you had a great time with your family, but I am really glad you are back to writing. This is a really great chapter. Sorry I am all out of sixes. You know I would have given you sixes if I had them! love and blessings, teri
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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I am so glad you had a great time with your family, but I am really glad you are back to writing. This is a really great chapter. Sorry I am all out of sixes. You know I would have given you sixes if I had them! love and blessings, teri
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2025
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Thank you for kind this review. Don't worry about the sixes. I just appreciate you.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Excellent chapter. The tension was high and the romance was hot. I felt bad for Sami as the men discussed things around her. It's frustrating for a woman to have to remind people she is capable of making her own decisions. This was an excellent chapter. Gretchen
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Excellent chapter. The tension was high and the romance was hot. I felt bad for Sami as the men discussed things around her. It's frustrating for a woman to have to remind people she is capable of making her own decisions. This was an excellent chapter. Gretchen
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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It sure is. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I loved the ending! So, Sami is still in danger, now because she is important to Noah. That will always be the case if any other villians want pay back in the future. This was quite a scary chapter and worrying for Sami. I'm glad they sorted out the door. Well done, Barbara. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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I loved the ending! So, Sami is still in danger, now because she is important to Noah. That will always be the case if any other villians want pay back in the future. This was quite a scary chapter and worrying for Sami. I'm glad they sorted out the door. Well done, Barbara. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Glad you were able to take some time to spend with family and enjoy the holidays. I had to laugh about you being worn out, not because it's funny, but because of the amazing energy little ones have. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Glad you were able to take some time to spend with family and enjoy the holidays. I had to laugh about you being worn out, not because it's funny, but because of the amazing energy little ones have. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Thank you for the kind review. I don't understand where all that energy comes from.
Comment from Sanku
I too had a lot of fun with my grand daughters Leya and Amaya You are right theirbrnergy levels ard too high for us
BELATED happy birthday to you .I knew from Debbis poem. May you have a lot of success this year!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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I too had a lot of fun with my grand daughters Leya and Amaya You are right theirbrnergy levels ard too high for us
BELATED happy birthday to you .I knew from Debbis poem. May you have a lot of success this year!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Thank you for the birthday wishes and the kind review. I appreciate both.
Comment from Begin Again
So nice to hear that you had a wonderful holiday with the family. The children are so full of energy and we forget what it takes to keep up with them but we wouldn't change a minute of it. And the story is still moving forward with Sami giving in a little but still determined to be in control. I think or hope that Noah will break down her defenses soon or whatever or whomever is lurking out there will cause some big problems.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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So nice to hear that you had a wonderful holiday with the family. The children are so full of energy and we forget what it takes to keep up with them but we wouldn't change a minute of it. And the story is still moving forward with Sami giving in a little but still determined to be in control. I think or hope that Noah will break down her defenses soon or whatever or whomever is lurking out there will cause some big problems.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Sami just can't get away from Noah's reputation. Somehow, he has to convince the bad guys to leave her alone and he can't kill them all. The hole in the door picture just doesn't look big enough for a dog Jasper's size. Ha! Ha!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Sami just can't get away from Noah's reputation. Somehow, he has to convince the bad guys to leave her alone and he can't kill them all. The hole in the door picture just doesn't look big enough for a dog Jasper's size. Ha! Ha!
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Thank you for the kind review. The hole isn't but I thought it was cute. LOL
Comment from Wendy G
Dramatic presence of the the three men breaking down her door! I wasn't sure how she saw them in her hallway from outside the building? Sami and Noah do a lot of sweet-talk and kissing. Sami seems to act in a bit of a childish way, not wanting extra security because she has Jasper. Three men with guns can easily kill both her and a dog.
Wendy
Edit: to run around naked if I want too. (to)
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Dramatic presence of the the three men breaking down her door! I wasn't sure how she saw them in her hallway from outside the building? Sami and Noah do a lot of sweet-talk and kissing. Sami seems to act in a bit of a childish way, not wanting extra security because she has Jasper. Three men with guns can easily kill both her and a dog.
Wendy
Edit: to run around naked if I want too. (to)
Comment Written 05-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Thank you for the kind review. At my son's apartment complex, you can see the hallways from the parking lot. I know because when I walk Harley, I can see the through the hallways, they're open.
