Christmas Woes
The Day My World Turned Upside Down12 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I understand this knowing you aren't loved by your mother is hard. I was the eldest, but I was born handicapped, and it was expensive having my problems fixed. I thought that was the reason she never talked to me and only paid attention to my younger sister. When I was about fifty and had driven halfway across Missouri to pick her up at her sister's, she told me on the way home that she had never loved me or even liked me. I decided I was not her. I talked to her even if she wouldn't talk to me. I ignored her insults and acted like a good daughter, if it killed me, and a few times it did. I finally have a relationship with my sister, but it took until I was 70 years old. I don't know if this is helpful, but know I understand. Many families have problems we never suspect. Being assaulted and not being believed is, surprisingly, very common. I pray you have a happy holiday and a bright and hopefully new year.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
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I understand this knowing you aren't loved by your mother is hard. I was the eldest, but I was born handicapped, and it was expensive having my problems fixed. I thought that was the reason she never talked to me and only paid attention to my younger sister. When I was about fifty and had driven halfway across Missouri to pick her up at her sister's, she told me on the way home that she had never loved me or even liked me. I decided I was not her. I talked to her even if she wouldn't talk to me. I ignored her insults and acted like a good daughter, if it killed me, and a few times it did. I finally have a relationship with my sister, but it took until I was 70 years old. I don't know if this is helpful, but know I understand. Many families have problems we never suspect. Being assaulted and not being believed is, surprisingly, very common. I pray you have a happy holiday and a bright and hopefully new year.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2024
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Carol,
Thank you for the kind review. I know I am not alone in my problem and as I've gotten older it doesn't affect me too much. Some Christmases are better than others. This year is a tough one. I am so sorry your mother was like that. I know what it feels like to be unloved by a parent. I'm 62 and I wonder if it was a thing back in the day. My grandfather was 100%Lebanese and my grandmother was from Canada. She died when I was 4, but memories of her were she was gruff and cold. My grandfather showed me love until he passed. I was his favorite grandchild. Others on this site have told me of their horror stories growing up and it's just bizarre. I tried hard with my kids not to be that kind of mother.
Cecilia
Comment from l.raven
Hi Cecilia, I'm so sorry this happened to you
my wonderful friend...
no child should ever go through something
like that...and not on Christmas Eve sweet girl...
your story is sad...but still very well written...and
your picture says a lot...love you much...Linda xxoo
I'm going to PM you...xxoo
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Hi Cecilia, I'm so sorry this happened to you
my wonderful friend...
no child should ever go through something
like that...and not on Christmas Eve sweet girl...
your story is sad...but still very well written...and
your picture says a lot...love you much...Linda xxoo
I'm going to PM you...xxoo
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Linda,
Thank you for the wonderful review and love. I appreciate you.
Cecilia
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sweet girl...you are sooo very welcome...
and I appreciate you too...xxoo love
Comment from DonandVicki
This was and is a tragic story that has really touched my heart. What a horrible way to spend your childhood. Your story could be fleshed out to a very gripping book.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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This was and is a tragic story that has really touched my heart. What a horrible way to spend your childhood. Your story could be fleshed out to a very gripping book.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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DonandVicki,
Thank you for the wonderful review. I am working on my autobiography. I really spiraled out of control in the Navy. My life has been nothing, but a fucked-up mess.
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I pray that you are doing better now.
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I am I spent a lot of time in a therapist chair and it has helped a lot.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I am so sorry you never had your mother's support. Even if she kept the same boyfriend, it would have helped if she believed you and promised to help you get through it. I hate to hear of anything adults do that robs a child of a joyful childhood. We are all products of our childhood.
Thank you for being bold enough to share your pain. There are others on this site who can relate.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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I am so sorry you never had your mother's support. Even if she kept the same boyfriend, it would have helped if she believed you and promised to help you get through it. I hate to hear of anything adults do that robs a child of a joyful childhood. We are all products of our childhood.
Thank you for being bold enough to share your pain. There are others on this site who can relate.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Joan,
Thank you for the wonderful review. I appreciate it. Writing helps.
Cecilia
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I'm so sorry to hear about this childhood trauma you suffered and, as you say, even after that, if your mother had believed your story and supported you, it would have helped validate you as a person. Instead you've had to seek self-esteem from others such as therapists. I've no doubt that your writing will help you deal with the mixture of emotions you undoubtedly will feel. There are some edits:
there (were) no hugs
I was to(o) ashamed
I have had some Christmas(es)
when the memories (are) too much
Thank you for sharing what must have been a difficult write for you. Warm wishes Debbie
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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I'm so sorry to hear about this childhood trauma you suffered and, as you say, even after that, if your mother had believed your story and supported you, it would have helped validate you as a person. Instead you've had to seek self-esteem from others such as therapists. I've no doubt that your writing will help you deal with the mixture of emotions you undoubtedly will feel. There are some edits:
there (were) no hugs
I was to(o) ashamed
I have had some Christmas(es)
when the memories (are) too much
Thank you for sharing what must have been a difficult write for you. Warm wishes Debbie
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Debbie,
Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I appreciate you. I wll fix those error right now thank you.
Cecilia
Comment from royowen
That was a terrible rhing to happen to a little girl at Christmas, sexual abuse of children is coming out mire and more, and the very ones one should be able to trust, one can't, like religious priests, I know what Jesus said will happen to them, so sorry Cecilia. There have been writers, or at least one, thst beat it completely. But she's not here now, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : I was to(o) ashamed...
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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That was a terrible rhing to happen to a little girl at Christmas, sexual abuse of children is coming out mire and more, and the very ones one should be able to trust, one can't, like religious priests, I know what Jesus said will happen to them, so sorry Cecilia. There have been writers, or at least one, thst beat it completely. But she's not here now, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : I was to(o) ashamed...
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Roy,
Thank you so much for the wonderful review. I have Jesus on my side I will be okay.
Cecilia
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Yep, I understand
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God Bless you Roy.
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You too Cecilia
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Thank you
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
When we grow up without love like this we think we are unloveable and we also think we are not worthy of other people's love. We end up disliking ourselves and think that we deserve to be disliked. This is where we have to set the record straight Cecilia. You have to learn to love yourself and know that you deserve to be loved, and deserve to be happy.
Christmas is a time of joy and only we can create this happiness inside of us. No one can make us happy, we have to nurture happiness inside our own hearts by making life good for ourselves.
This is an area where we need to be selfish and grab life and make the most of it. if we let the past rule our future, we can only blame ourselves for unhappiness. We cannot blame others for it.
It will take a lot of courage to put the past behind you and enjoy the future, but once you take the first step to making yourself happy, you will never look back.
I am sorry you suffered like this Cecilia but you are alive and can make your life good. Think of the victims of war and those we live under harsh Governments who have no freedom to do what they want to do. There is always someone else who is worse off than ourselves.
I hope you can move on and be happy and enjoy Christmas, start tomorrow before it is too late. Don't allow another day of happiness be taken from you.
Love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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When we grow up without love like this we think we are unloveable and we also think we are not worthy of other people's love. We end up disliking ourselves and think that we deserve to be disliked. This is where we have to set the record straight Cecilia. You have to learn to love yourself and know that you deserve to be loved, and deserve to be happy.
Christmas is a time of joy and only we can create this happiness inside of us. No one can make us happy, we have to nurture happiness inside our own hearts by making life good for ourselves.
This is an area where we need to be selfish and grab life and make the most of it. if we let the past rule our future, we can only blame ourselves for unhappiness. We cannot blame others for it.
It will take a lot of courage to put the past behind you and enjoy the future, but once you take the first step to making yourself happy, you will never look back.
I am sorry you suffered like this Cecilia but you are alive and can make your life good. Think of the victims of war and those we live under harsh Governments who have no freedom to do what they want to do. There is always someone else who is worse off than ourselves.
I hope you can move on and be happy and enjoy Christmas, start tomorrow before it is too late. Don't allow another day of happiness be taken from you.
Love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Dolly,
Thank you for the wonderful review. You are right there are other people worse off than me. I'm not totally happy, but most of the time I am. It's just the Christmas holidays I struggle with. I have Jesus by my side and I know I will be okay.
Cecilia
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this story with us. No child should have to live that way. I would suggest not just turning to Jesus when the memories get too much but turn to Him all the time. I know he helps me.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Thank you for sharing this story with us. No child should have to live that way. I would suggest not just turning to Jesus when the memories get too much but turn to Him all the time. I know he helps me.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Barbara,
Thank you for the wonderful review. I do have Jesus with me all the time and that's why I survived. Christmas is hard and then when I hit my knees the hardest. I have him buy my side and I'll be okay.
Cecilia
Comment from Nicki.B
I am so sorry that you had to experience abuse from that vile piece of dirt.
You had mentioned in a review of my Christmas Poem that you didn't like Christmas as your Mother ruined it for you and now I know why.
So courageous of you to share your story I would imagine it's wasn't an easy decision. I am just picturing that 10 year old girl feeling violated, sore, scared, embarrassed and alone and it breaks my heart. You poor thing, I also feel so mad, towards that monster and never having support or relationship with your Mother, you have had it so difficult.
I'm so glad you did get to spend time making happy memories with your kids when they were small, if those happy memories could drown out the one that destroyed everything for you, I wish it could.
Take care of yourself, you are so brave. I wish you all the feelings of joy to come your way.
Best wishes friend,
Nicki xox
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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I am so sorry that you had to experience abuse from that vile piece of dirt.
You had mentioned in a review of my Christmas Poem that you didn't like Christmas as your Mother ruined it for you and now I know why.
So courageous of you to share your story I would imagine it's wasn't an easy decision. I am just picturing that 10 year old girl feeling violated, sore, scared, embarrassed and alone and it breaks my heart. You poor thing, I also feel so mad, towards that monster and never having support or relationship with your Mother, you have had it so difficult.
I'm so glad you did get to spend time making happy memories with your kids when they were small, if those happy memories could drown out the one that destroyed everything for you, I wish it could.
Take care of yourself, you are so brave. I wish you all the feelings of joy to come your way.
Best wishes friend,
Nicki xox
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Nicki,
Thank you for the wonderful review and the six beautiful stars. Yeah,
childhood sucked and when I met my first boyfriend he was abusive. After we broke up he wouldn't leave me alone, so I joined the Navy. That's a story for another day. I'm working on an autobiography. Writing helps me to get through the day. I have so many wonderful friends on here.
I appreciate you Nicki more than you know. Thank sweet friend
Cecilia xoxo
Comment from patcelaw
There's a great deal in your story that I can relate to. My father was a cruel man. He used very bad language and he had times when he would beat the children and he would be their mother. I usually avoided him and he very seldom beat me or tried to hit me, but I did not like him as a man. I did not like him as a person and when I was nine years old and I got saved, I thought his swearing was so awful and I thought to myself if I can't talk without using those words, then I will not talk. Even to this day when I accidentally slip up and use a curse word, it bothers me until I can confess to the Lord and ask him to forgive me. Patricia.
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reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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There's a great deal in your story that I can relate to. My father was a cruel man. He used very bad language and he had times when he would beat the children and he would be their mother. I usually avoided him and he very seldom beat me or tried to hit me, but I did not like him as a man. I did not like him as a person and when I was nine years old and I got saved, I thought his swearing was so awful and I thought to myself if I can't talk without using those words, then I will not talk. Even to this day when I accidentally slip up and use a curse word, it bothers me until I can confess to the Lord and ask him to forgive me. Patricia.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2024
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Patricia,
Thank you for the kind review. I guess back in the day it was okay to beat women and children. That's horrible. I wonder if our parents had any idea what that would do too us as we grew up. I must admit the sailor I was is still in me and swear occasionally. I can however, have conversations where there is no swearing. I'm glad you don't.
Cecilia