Willing Hearts
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Chapter 24 Willing Hearts"Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?
9 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
Writing and editing are good, as always. I know it is choice or style, but I would recommend a few things. Also, 3/4's done. It 'feels' like it is going on too long. The 'romance' fiction is very light on romance. And the romance is kind of complete. Noah loves Sami, (why? who knows. Because he's supposed to) but they both know and acknowledge it.
notes:
"What's he doing?" asked Sami.
-I think the readers understand why. So having Sami not, makes her look, well.... childish???
Not receiving as much as he wanted, he hung up. "Sami?" When she faced him, he continued, "Have dinner ready by six o'clock."
"Roger that, Boss."
-Why is Sami calling him 'Boss'?
reserve a car, and an appointment for nine o'clock in the morning with the SunDrop LLC's CEO.
- Shouldn't he say. "Try to make an appointment." Basically, he's a cop, not a dictator.
Stepping closer, he said, "You're probably right." He touched her arm. "Sami?"
- He is apologizing again without saying I'm sorry. That happens a lot. Sor of like, unforced errors, where Sami corrects him.
"Are you okay?" asked Sami barely in front of the computer.
-These three words happen a lot.
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Writing and editing are good, as always. I know it is choice or style, but I would recommend a few things. Also, 3/4's done. It 'feels' like it is going on too long. The 'romance' fiction is very light on romance. And the romance is kind of complete. Noah loves Sami, (why? who knows. Because he's supposed to) but they both know and acknowledge it.
notes:
"What's he doing?" asked Sami.
-I think the readers understand why. So having Sami not, makes her look, well.... childish???
Not receiving as much as he wanted, he hung up. "Sami?" When she faced him, he continued, "Have dinner ready by six o'clock."
"Roger that, Boss."
-Why is Sami calling him 'Boss'?
reserve a car, and an appointment for nine o'clock in the morning with the SunDrop LLC's CEO.
- Shouldn't he say. "Try to make an appointment." Basically, he's a cop, not a dictator.
Stepping closer, he said, "You're probably right." He touched her arm. "Sami?"
- He is apologizing again without saying I'm sorry. That happens a lot. Sor of like, unforced errors, where Sami corrects him.
"Are you okay?" asked Sami barely in front of the computer.
-These three words happen a lot.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
Comment from judiverse
I don't think Noah barks orders. He is the one in charge here, and he feels the responsibility. I like his chopping wood to work off his frustrations. Galvin apparently hasn't contacted the New Orleans office, and Noah is frustrated because he can't yet close the case. I wouldn't be surprised if Noah isn't promoted to replace Galvin. Maybe something new has developed in the human trafficking case. Fun bit about Jose not barfing on the trip. Also, with Bob's comment about the tape of the conversation being erased.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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I don't think Noah barks orders. He is the one in charge here, and he feels the responsibility. I like his chopping wood to work off his frustrations. Galvin apparently hasn't contacted the New Orleans office, and Noah is frustrated because he can't yet close the case. I wouldn't be surprised if Noah isn't promoted to replace Galvin. Maybe something new has developed in the human trafficking case. Fun bit about Jose not barfing on the trip. Also, with Bob's comment about the tape of the conversation being erased.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Thank you for sharing this wonderful review. I am hoping things work out. We'll see.
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You're welcome. I enjoy the humorous touches you added in this. judi
Comment from Jacob1395
I really liked the banter between Sami and Noah in this piece. It really brought their character's to life in your writing, Barbara, and I thought you did an excellent job with this. Another well written chapter. I can't wait to read the next one.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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I really liked the banter between Sami and Noah in this piece. It really brought their character's to life in your writing, Barbara, and I thought you did an excellent job with this. Another well written chapter. I can't wait to read the next one.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
This story is really good. It kept me engaged to the end. The dialogue flows nicely and it's easy to keep track of all the players. I look forward to reading the whole novel. Great job. Keep them coming.
Cecilia
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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This story is really good. It kept me engaged to the end. The dialogue flows nicely and it's easy to keep track of all the players. I look forward to reading the whole novel. Great job. Keep them coming.
Cecilia
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm glad they had that chat; it needed saying and now all is good... for now! I loved it that Jose didn't barf on Boss. (I'd never heard that word before, so I had to check it out.) Now, what the heck has happened to Galvin? I think there is something suspicious going on with him. Well done, Barbara. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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I'm glad they had that chat; it needed saying and now all is good... for now! I loved it that Jose didn't barf on Boss. (I'd never heard that word before, so I had to check it out.) Now, what the heck has happened to Galvin? I think there is something suspicious going on with him. Well done, Barbara. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Galvin isn't a good person. Thank you for the kind review
Comment from Sanku
Smooth continuation of the incidents. Some definite movements are on the cards. The solution will come soon and Sami can relax. They are very cute and now having overcome any apprehensions , open up to each other...
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Smooth continuation of the incidents. Some definite movements are on the cards. The solution will come soon and Sami can relax. They are very cute and now having overcome any apprehensions , open up to each other...
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Paul McFarland
This is one of your best chapters, Barb. It is one that is a relief from the many chapters that contain conflict. Also, it is well written. Looking forward to a happy ending.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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This is one of your best chapters, Barb. It is one that is a relief from the many chapters that contain conflict. Also, it is well written. Looking forward to a happy ending.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from BethShelby
This is an excellent chapter as they all are. I think I Noah and Sami are expressing their love for each other more openly and now it does seem they need as much tome after this, ends to see where things might be going as it once did. You are still telling us how much time has passed and it has still been less than a month. I used to believe you needed a least a year to know if you were really in love. It just seems like a lot of time has when actually it hasn't. It took me a year and a half to be sure but we were only together on weekends.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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This is an excellent chapter as they all are. I think I Noah and Sami are expressing their love for each other more openly and now it does seem they need as much tome after this, ends to see where things might be going as it once did. You are still telling us how much time has passed and it has still been less than a month. I used to believe you needed a least a year to know if you were really in love. It just seems like a lot of time has when actually it hasn't. It took me a year and a half to be sure but we were only together on weekends.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Noah and Sami aren't interesting in time. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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lOL!
Comment from Begin Again
I loved the bits of humor in this chapter, Barbara. I guess it makes the characters seem more accurate, and not all tension. Sami and Noah seem to understand each other now, and they don't always doubt each other. Good job! Thanks for sharing.
smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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I loved the bits of humor in this chapter, Barbara. I guess it makes the characters seem more accurate, and not all tension. Sami and Noah seem to understand each other now, and they don't always doubt each other. Good job! Thanks for sharing.
smiles, Carol
Comment Written 27-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2024
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Thank you for the encouragement.