Free Verse Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Dancers"A collection of free verse poems
92 total reviews
Comment from Bayberry
This reads like it's a song the girls could be dancing to. It flows well and hold interest down to the final line. I enjoyed it very much. :) Janet
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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This reads like it's a song the girls could be dancing to. It flows well and hold interest down to the final line. I enjoyed it very much. :) Janet
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Janet. So glad it gave you a moment of pleasure!
Comment from krys123
Well Tony you accomplished what you set out to do with this poem. The rhythm is done very well and made it so easy for me to read this poem with so much clarity. The rhyming, where it was done, not only help the rhythm but also neither of them were forced, labored or Strained. You produced wonderful imagery which portrayed the dancers in the picture which complemented the poem very much but rather the poem really shown to light the dancing through the words that you used.
Thank you so much for sharing this with others including myself . It very well done poem Tony and you really captured the essence of the people dancing.
Alex
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Well Tony you accomplished what you set out to do with this poem. The rhythm is done very well and made it so easy for me to read this poem with so much clarity. The rhyming, where it was done, not only help the rhythm but also neither of them were forced, labored or Strained. You produced wonderful imagery which portrayed the dancers in the picture which complemented the poem very much but rather the poem really shown to light the dancing through the words that you used.
Thank you so much for sharing this with others including myself . It very well done poem Tony and you really captured the essence of the people dancing.
Alex
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Thank you very much for taking such time and trouble with this response to my poem, Alex. Very much appreciated!
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You are so sincerely welcome Tony
Comment from DonandVicki
I can feel the girls excitement as they broke out into dance as your poem implies. The photograph taken by your daughter enhances your work. I'ill be your daughter wanted to dance as well. Don
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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I can feel the girls excitement as they broke out into dance as your poem implies. The photograph taken by your daughter enhances your work. I'ill be your daughter wanted to dance as well. Don
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Many thanks for your review, Don! I am so glad that this poem gave you a moment of pleasure. I think you are right, my daughter might have had itchy feet as well! My favourite character in the photo is the onlooker! What a pose!
Comment from Maurice53
I hate reading poems like this. You played upon senses that I pretend I never experienced. The smell of the country earth after the rain. Innocent children playing in the water in the storms aftermath. The simplicity of life. The beauty of life as a child. Five decades later I tend to block those childhood memories out, too painful. This poem has succeeded in taking me back."A sigh in the trees"...superb. Reminicent of the dance of the lilly nymphs. Couldn't put this poem down.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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I hate reading poems like this. You played upon senses that I pretend I never experienced. The smell of the country earth after the rain. Innocent children playing in the water in the storms aftermath. The simplicity of life. The beauty of life as a child. Five decades later I tend to block those childhood memories out, too painful. This poem has succeeded in taking me back."A sigh in the trees"...superb. Reminicent of the dance of the lilly nymphs. Couldn't put this poem down.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate the fact that this poem struck such a chord with you, Maurice.
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
It's not unusual for me to be indecisive when rating some poetry.
This, the girl dancers, is one of those. I suppose part of the probnlem is your citizenship in UK, a difference of culture.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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It's not unusual for me to be indecisive when rating some poetry.
This, the girl dancers, is one of those. I suppose part of the probnlem is your citizenship in UK, a difference of culture.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Interesting comment! It is a pity that perspectives of culture so often divide. I actually live in Australia, though you are right, I do hold dual citizenship.
Comment from Titanx9
This is a beautiful poem. You've written about a freedom these young girls have that should be celebrated, as they remind me of King David, who loved to dance and played instruments he'd made to celebrate God. There's a certain innocence in this poem that you've captured. Beautiful!
"A taste of the hereafter
The gods have surely given
To those who dance together
In the dust."
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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This is a beautiful poem. You've written about a freedom these young girls have that should be celebrated, as they remind me of King David, who loved to dance and played instruments he'd made to celebrate God. There's a certain innocence in this poem that you've captured. Beautiful!
"A taste of the hereafter
The gods have surely given
To those who dance together
In the dust."
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Such a lovely review, Titan! Thank you! I am so glad that this poem gave you a moment of pleasure.
Comment from Gungalo
A taste of the hereafter
The gods have surely given
To those who dance together
In the dust
A great write in free verse Tony that really shows the dance. Wonderful the way the three girls reacted together.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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A taste of the hereafter
The gods have surely given
To those who dance together
In the dust
A great write in free verse Tony that really shows the dance. Wonderful the way the three girls reacted together.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Such a lovely review, Gungalo! Thank you! I am so glad that this poem gave you a moment of pleasure.
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Smiling.
Comment from MercurySeven
I like it, tfawcus! It's jaunty and nimble, loose and sort-of-rhythmic, and like you say, without a strict meter or rhyme scheme. I can almost see the movement of the girls tapping their toes in the dust--a nice, evocative image (inspired by your daughter's photo).
A good write.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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I like it, tfawcus! It's jaunty and nimble, loose and sort-of-rhythmic, and like you say, without a strict meter or rhyme scheme. I can almost see the movement of the girls tapping their toes in the dust--a nice, evocative image (inspired by your daughter's photo).
A good write.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Such a lovely review, Mercury! Thank you! I am so glad that this poem gave you a moment of pleasure.
Comment from suep
I really enjoyed your poem. I like the way you sprinkled in the rhyming. You tell a descriptive, enjoyable story bringing this photo to life. I especially love the wording 'And you couldn't see their feet / As they wove a birdlike flutter'. You achieved your goal of the rising crescendo and then calm as I felt it as I read it, and then what I sensed was put into words as I read your author notes. Excellent work! :)
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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I really enjoyed your poem. I like the way you sprinkled in the rhyming. You tell a descriptive, enjoyable story bringing this photo to life. I especially love the wording 'And you couldn't see their feet / As they wove a birdlike flutter'. You achieved your goal of the rising crescendo and then calm as I felt it as I read it, and then what I sensed was put into words as I read your author notes. Excellent work! :)
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Such a lovely review, Sue! Thank you! I am so glad that this poem struck a chord and gave you a moment of pleasure.
Comment from handmadecards
This piece is outstanding! You completely nailed the rhythm of their dance. Beautifully evocative use of words "in torrents of clear laughter from their hearts".
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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This piece is outstanding! You completely nailed the rhythm of their dance. Beautifully evocative use of words "in torrents of clear laughter from their hearts".
Comment Written 04-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2014
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Thank you for taking the time to read my poem, Handmadecards, and for your lovely review and kind words. I am delighted that my poem gave you a moment or two of pleasure!