Shore leave
A hallowed eve of tropic joy65 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
The picture you selected helped to establish the setting of "God alone knows where".
I admired your rhymes, "fruit," "queen" and "bridal gown" metaphors. Your "amputated doll" image is unforgettable. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
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The picture you selected helped to establish the setting of "God alone knows where".
I admired your rhymes, "fruit," "queen" and "bridal gown" metaphors. Your "amputated doll" image is unforgettable. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
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Thank you so much for your review, Joan. I lived in this part of the world for some time, both as a child and later as an adult in the armed forces, and so I know it quite well. Delighted that I was able to transmit something of the ambiance in this poem. Best wishes, Tony
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I figured you had been there in the armed forces. Thanks for the additional context. Have a pleasant Sunday evening- Joan
Comment from frierajac
reminds me of Christina Rossetti's 'Goblin Market', a favorite of mine. The depiction of the tropicical atmosphere seems to me to be. outstanding. I like frangipani,
I wonder about bridal for gown, I guess it may be silken?
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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reminds me of Christina Rossetti's 'Goblin Market', a favorite of mine. The depiction of the tropicical atmosphere seems to me to be. outstanding. I like frangipani,
I wonder about bridal for gown, I guess it may be silken?
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for your review and for the six stars. Even more so, thank you for reminding me of Goblin Market, which I haven't read for years. I downloaded a copy of it the other evening and was once again captivated by the flow of the language. Your suggestion that my poem brought it to your mind is a great compliment. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very accurate and sad description of shore leave. It's not all Jel McCray in South Pacific. Many young men get their first exposure to third world poverty through shore leave.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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A very accurate and sad description of shore leave. It's not all Jel McCray in South Pacific. Many young men get their first exposure to third world poverty through shore leave.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Many thanks, Thomas. Yes, the reality of third world poverty comes as a shock to many servicemen.
Comment from foxangie123
My gracious this is so dern good my friend. I love it and the picture as well. It is neat how incorporated life, all if it, into His plan. Bravo.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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My gracious this is so dern good my friend. I love it and the picture as well. It is neat how incorporated life, all if it, into His plan. Bravo.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks, Angie, for your review and six stars. I really appreciate your kind comments. Best wishes, Tony
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Superb writing.
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Hello Tony,
You put a very different slant on what we typically think of on All Hallow's Eve. This is a superb write. You have made the artwork come to life with the vivid imagery you have crafted, drawing on a people's way of life. I cannot say enough good things about your poem. So many terrific, very original lines, but my favourite is this part:
"A cradled sampan's rocking,
its painted eyes are mocking
and its knocking
like a toothless harbour whore
kelp and mango slopping
at the restless, upright oar" .... this stanza really packs a powerful punch!
Loved it!
Connie
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Hello Tony,
You put a very different slant on what we typically think of on All Hallow's Eve. This is a superb write. You have made the artwork come to life with the vivid imagery you have crafted, drawing on a people's way of life. I cannot say enough good things about your poem. So many terrific, very original lines, but my favourite is this part:
"A cradled sampan's rocking,
its painted eyes are mocking
and its knocking
like a toothless harbour whore
kelp and mango slopping
at the restless, upright oar" .... this stanza really packs a powerful punch!
Loved it!
Connie
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for this review, Connie, and for the six stars. Such kind words! Best wishes, Tony
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My pleasure, Tony.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Well written poem depicts that in some places, and for some people, life is Halloween every day - not the best.
Depicting in "urchin children".
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Well written poem depicts that in some places, and for some people, life is Halloween every day - not the best.
Depicting in "urchin children".
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for your review, Brett. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Dean Kuch
A cradled sampan's rocking,
its painted eyes are mocking,
and it's knocking,
like a toothless harbour whore,
kelp and mango slopping
at the restless, upright oar,
and sailors come ashore
to sample fruits like these,
exquisitely diseased. ...This entire poem is exquisitely well composed, Tony. But the stanzas I have featured here were my absolute favorites.
It reminded me of my days while being enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. We would make landfall and come into one various port or another after being out three months on the open seas, and what do you think the very first thing the men went in search of? It wasn't the local movie theater, I can tell you that!
Excellent poem, very well composed!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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A cradled sampan's rocking,
its painted eyes are mocking,
and it's knocking,
like a toothless harbour whore,
kelp and mango slopping
at the restless, upright oar,
and sailors come ashore
to sample fruits like these,
exquisitely diseased. ...This entire poem is exquisitely well composed, Tony. But the stanzas I have featured here were my absolute favorites.
It reminded me of my days while being enlisted in the United States Marine Corps. We would make landfall and come into one various port or another after being out three months on the open seas, and what do you think the very first thing the men went in search of? It wasn't the local movie theater, I can tell you that!
Excellent poem, very well composed!
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for your review, Dean. The marines are men of action!
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It's always a pleasure, Tony. You're more than welcome.
~Dean
Comment from crybry67
Your poem is so well written, I love the way it flows. You had wonderful use of ryhme, I really liked the alliteration and use of assonance. The imagery is so vivid in this piece.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Your poem is so well written, I love the way it flows. You had wonderful use of ryhme, I really liked the alliteration and use of assonance. The imagery is so vivid in this piece.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for this review, Crybry67, and for the six stars. Such kind words! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Yes only God alone knows. I studied the artwork you chose for a few moments. It made me wonder about how people across the world live and work and us Americans sconder so much away.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Yes only God alone knows. I studied the artwork you chose for a few moments. It made me wonder about how people across the world live and work and us Americans sconder so much away.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for this review, Barbara. Yes, one needs to travel in order to fully understand the whole world context of one's life. The picture is of a boat village crammed into an estuary near Hong Kong harbour. It gives a new meaning to the phrase 'sink or swim'. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Grasshopper2
Your words draw vivid images. I like
and deities forgotten
mid detritus that's rotting
upon the harbour shore,
Your recurring stanza fits in nicely
lifting up my prayer,
but God alone knows where.
I enjoyed the read and thank you for your service.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Your words draw vivid images. I like
and deities forgotten
mid detritus that's rotting
upon the harbour shore,
Your recurring stanza fits in nicely
lifting up my prayer,
but God alone knows where.
I enjoyed the read and thank you for your service.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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Thank you very much for taking the time to drop by to read and review my poem, Michael. Much appreciated. Tony