I Can't Wait!
A visit with Santa .........69 total reviews
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Carol...what a cute story..it must be true. Your grandchildren are beautiful...but then you already know that! You wrote this well and I loved it...blessings....chey
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Hi Carol...what a cute story..it must be true. Your grandchildren are beautiful...but then you already know that! You wrote this well and I loved it...blessings....chey
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Chey
Thank you very much. My adorable little Kaitlyn is visiting today and we are having loads of fun. she certainly liked seeing her picture on the computer screen. Thanks again...Carol
Comment from knowledge
Well, I guess that Santa got a very unwelcome present from your granddaughter. My lovely wife and I are still laughing.
Thank You My Friend,
Knowledge
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Well, I guess that Santa got a very unwelcome present from your granddaughter. My lovely wife and I are still laughing.
Thank You My Friend,
Knowledge
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Knowledge
I am thrilled that you enjoyed the little Santa adventure. My little granddaughter is visiting today and she was thrilled to see her picture on the computer screen. Thanks again...Smiles to you and your wife, Carol
Comment from DrCarter2001
A cute incident, but I don't feel as much sense of surprise at the end as I might have expected. While I'm sure this is a common occurrence, I don't know there is enough setup to show just how excited (or anxious) Kaitlyn is. Most of the focus is on Gavin, who's really just an observer for the real heart of the story (even though he gets to deliver the punch line). Instead of the general introductory paragraph you have, you might be better served to talk specifically about Kaitlyn and Gavin and their mother, to prepare the reader for what's to come. When you introduce the characters, I don't have a sense of who they are or how old they are (although you mention Kaitlyn is 2, you never say how old Gavin really is. He's too old for Santa, but he could be 5 or he could be 15). These are vital details to help the reader visualize the scene and the characters.
"Gavin begged." - unnecessary dialogue tag
"she pleaded" - same thing
"shrugged his shoulders" - "his shoulders" is redundant; most people don't shrug any other body part
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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A cute incident, but I don't feel as much sense of surprise at the end as I might have expected. While I'm sure this is a common occurrence, I don't know there is enough setup to show just how excited (or anxious) Kaitlyn is. Most of the focus is on Gavin, who's really just an observer for the real heart of the story (even though he gets to deliver the punch line). Instead of the general introductory paragraph you have, you might be better served to talk specifically about Kaitlyn and Gavin and their mother, to prepare the reader for what's to come. When you introduce the characters, I don't have a sense of who they are or how old they are (although you mention Kaitlyn is 2, you never say how old Gavin really is. He's too old for Santa, but he could be 5 or he could be 15). These are vital details to help the reader visualize the scene and the characters.
"Gavin begged." - unnecessary dialogue tag
"she pleaded" - same thing
"shrugged his shoulders" - "his shoulders" is redundant; most people don't shrug any other body part
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Dr. Carter
Appreciate your comments and suggestions about my grandchildren's little Santa adventure. I thank you for the review. Carol
Comment from RADIO
Sure is a funny write and I enjoyed this
one for sure wondering how many times this
may have happened to poor Santa.
Wonder too if he sat an extra shift
until he dried. Gavin tells it like it is.
Radio
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Sure is a funny write and I enjoyed this
one for sure wondering how many times this
may have happened to poor Santa.
Wonder too if he sat an extra shift
until he dried. Gavin tells it like it is.
Radio
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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rADIOI
THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING AND ENJOYING THE ANTICS OF MY GRANDCHILDREN...Kaitlyn is visiting today and she loved seeing herself on the computer. Smiles to you, my friend...Carol
Comment from IndianaIrish
Carol, Gavin and Kaitlyn are so adorable. Your story is funny and I'm sure Santa has lots of stories like this. Bob (Mastery) is a professional Santa and writes about his adventures as Santa Claus. I enjoyed your story and it made me laugh.
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Carol, Gavin and Kaitlyn are so adorable. Your story is funny and I'm sure Santa has lots of stories like this. Bob (Mastery) is a professional Santa and writes about his adventures as Santa Claus. I enjoyed your story and it made me laugh.
Indy :>)
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Indy
Yes I have read many of his stories and I don't envy anyone in those Santa suits. Thanks for the great review and for your kind comments about my two munchkins. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
What adorable children. When you gotta go, ya gotta go. I was never able to get a good picture of my kids with Santa. They were happy sitting on a strange ole man's lap. I loved your story. Getting the perfect picture with Santa is hard to do.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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What adorable children. When you gotta go, ya gotta go. I was never able to get a good picture of my kids with Santa. They were happy sitting on a strange ole man's lap. I loved your story. Getting the perfect picture with Santa is hard to do.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Beth
That's for sure...Poor Santa probably gets the brunt of lots of upset children. Thanks for the wonderful review. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Shirley B
This is priceless! It brings back so many memories. Sometimes the best stories are the true ones. You did a great job. What would we do without our kids? My son's first Easter I was so excited to get his picture made with the 6 foot Easter bunny in the Mall. Wes was about 3 months old. I had just given him a bottle. This was 1986. Wes chose that time to fill up his diaper and it wasn't with pee. The Easter Bunny had to take a break beacuse it got all over him too. I was so embreassed! Our kids, I guess we have to keep them! Shirley
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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This is priceless! It brings back so many memories. Sometimes the best stories are the true ones. You did a great job. What would we do without our kids? My son's first Easter I was so excited to get his picture made with the 6 foot Easter bunny in the Mall. Wes was about 3 months old. I had just given him a bottle. This was 1986. Wes chose that time to fill up his diaper and it wasn't with pee. The Easter Bunny had to take a break beacuse it got all over him too. I was so embreassed! Our kids, I guess we have to keep them! Shirley
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Shirley
Our children and grandchildren...the extension of our lives...at least we can laugh because they are the embarrassing moment not ...YET!!! Glad you enjoyed the story. Carol
Comment from RebelRose
Really cute kids. I wonder how mant times this has happened to the Mall/Department Store Santas. Cute Christmas story.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Really cute kids. I wonder how mant times this has happened to the Mall/Department Store Santas. Cute Christmas story.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Rebel Rose
Thank you so much. Kaitlyn is visiting today and she loves to see her picture on the computer screen. Thanks for the wonderful review. Carol
Comment from christopherjl
HA HA HA HA HA HA this is hilarious. Thank you for sharing and making me laugh. This is hilarious. I have no suggestions for your writing I could find no spag and the story is perfectly written with the right amount of detail. Great work!
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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HA HA HA HA HA HA this is hilarious. Thank you for sharing and making me laugh. This is hilarious. I have no suggestions for your writing I could find no spag and the story is perfectly written with the right amount of detail. Great work!
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Christopher
Glad you laughed at this one. Kaitlyn is visiting today and she loves her picture on the computer screen. Wonder how many other Santas this happens to? Smiles, Carol
Comment from dmjones
Your grandkids are so cute. I loved the story. It says fiction but is this based on truth? Santa just should have let go.
"The line(')s so long, Mom."
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Your grandkids are so cute. I loved the story. It says fiction but is this based on truth? Santa just should have let go.
"The line(')s so long, Mom."
Comment Written 03-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2009
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Donna
Oh yeah..I bet Santa gets lots of these surprises during his stint at work. Kaitlyn is visiting today and she just loved to see her picture on the computer screen. Thanks so much...Carol
