Broken branches
Families, grown apart from the start60 total reviews
Comment from Darlene Franklin
Amazing use of imagery and sound in your poem! I love comparing the falling tree branches to bird wings. Although you use a repeating refrain, it still doesn't meet the contest rules: 7 verses instead of four, and ends with the refrain, not a verse. Aside from the contest rules, I love the poem. I love the way you bring it back to the narrator, when he realizes the broken branches are from his own tree. A too sad reality in many cases.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Amazing use of imagery and sound in your poem! I love comparing the falling tree branches to bird wings. Although you use a repeating refrain, it still doesn't meet the contest rules: 7 verses instead of four, and ends with the refrain, not a verse. Aside from the contest rules, I love the poem. I love the way you bring it back to the narrator, when he realizes the broken branches are from his own tree. A too sad reality in many cases.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Heather Knight
It's so sad when families grow apart. However it happens quite often. It had happened to my sister and me and then she passed away last summer so now I'll never be able to fix it...
Beautifully written poem.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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It's so sad when families grow apart. However it happens quite often. It had happened to my sister and me and then she passed away last summer so now I'll never be able to fix it...
Beautifully written poem.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you
Comment from Hitcher
A thought provoking read indeed...
There is nothing wrong with taking your own path in life, it can be lonely at times, difficult and you might hit a few ruts which make it very hard to follow... But the rewards can be priceless and time has a way of healing most wounds, broken branches and all.
I have just seen the rules for this contest, have you?
I think this was supposed to be a song, a rhyming song; Intro verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, closing verse. It must rhyme,
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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A thought provoking read indeed...
There is nothing wrong with taking your own path in life, it can be lonely at times, difficult and you might hit a few ruts which make it very hard to follow... But the rewards can be priceless and time has a way of healing most wounds, broken branches and all.
I have just seen the rules for this contest, have you?
I think this was supposed to be a song, a rhyming song; Intro verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, chorus, closing verse. It must rhyme,
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Omg. You are so correct, mushy fix thank you
Comment from Alex Rosel
I like the premise of this poem. You use imagery effectively throughout.
Here's just a couple of points you might like to consider:
leaves causing the sun's rays to shimmer -- I especially like this imagery :)
leaves rustling, squirrels tussling, birds careening, -- I like the word play here :)
I love the word careen, but doesn't it imply uncontrolled movement? Is that your intention here for the birds' flight? Just a thought.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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I like the premise of this poem. You use imagery effectively throughout.
Here's just a couple of points you might like to consider:
leaves causing the sun's rays to shimmer -- I especially like this imagery :)
leaves rustling, squirrels tussling, birds careening, -- I like the word play here :)
I love the word careen, but doesn't it imply uncontrolled movement? Is that your intention here for the birds' flight? Just a thought.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Good food for thought thank you
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written lyrical poem about our life and existence can be like the branches of the trees that all be in one unit but each have their own growth and one or other time they start to snap and breaking off for good.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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A very well-written lyrical poem about our life and existence can be like the branches of the trees that all be in one unit but each have their own growth and one or other time they start to snap and breaking off for good.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Josh Walters
It is strange how at one point in your life you can be surrounded by a group that you think will never lose touch with each other. Then, fast forward fifteen or twenty years and its been how long since you spoke with them?
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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It is strange how at one point in your life you can be surrounded by a group that you think will never lose touch with each other. Then, fast forward fifteen or twenty years and its been how long since you spoke with them?
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Time, time, time does tick away....thank you!
Comment from Diana L Crawford
This is a beautiful poem and excellently written. So true is your sentiment about people going their own ways. Sometimes life goes smoothly and sometimes not so much! You have express this with great imagination!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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This is a beautiful poem and excellently written. So true is your sentiment about people going their own ways. Sometimes life goes smoothly and sometimes not so much! You have express this with great imagination!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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My sincere thanks...
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We sometimes walk those paths strewn with broken dreams and you have likened this to broken branches here. I wish you luck with the contest and the only thing missing here is the rhyme which I believe is a requirement for the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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We sometimes walk those paths strewn with broken dreams and you have likened this to broken branches here. I wish you luck with the contest and the only thing missing here is the rhyme which I believe is a requirement for the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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OMG. I missed that, I good test for me to correct...thank you.
Comment from Lance S. Loria
A meaningful message of family relationships. Complimentary photo artwork of the mighty Oak. Well written poem. No edits or adjustments suggested.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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A meaningful message of family relationships. Complimentary photo artwork of the mighty Oak. Well written poem. No edits or adjustments suggested.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you greatly.
Comment from Patty Palmer
It does seem to make sense when you see all the broken branches if each branch had a family member's name on it, you would have a broken family tree. But, I wouldn't know how one would fix a broken branch.
God bless!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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It does seem to make sense when you see all the broken branches if each branch had a family member's name on it, you would have a broken family tree. But, I wouldn't know how one would fix a broken branch.
God bless!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you for your read and comments.
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You're welcome!
