Comment from LisaMay

Exceptional

I am speechless. Excuse me while i dry my eyes. This is such a perfectly captured memory of childhood "A bit of mashed potatoes falls onto my aunt's bib. I look away. I want to help her. But I do not. I cannot. I am silent. I fear that if I gaze too long or intently, she will know that I pity her. I choke on my shame and ask to be excused from the dining table." I did this too.
And the impersonal nature of many funeral services is heartbreaking:
"He doesn't mention that she loved to laugh.
He doesn't mention that she loved forget-me-nots.
He doesn't share any of her accomplishments from her childhood.
He doesn't proclaim that her life mattered."
I am so pleased your garden is now making up for lost time. Socially restrictive covenants can wait. xx

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2019

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reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019

Hello Lisa!
I am deeply honored by your exceptional rating and thoughtful review.
This was a tough write, but one that I have wanted to pen for a long time.
So very pleased that my words and emotions resonated with you!
Honored...

Thank you!
diane

reply by LisaMay on 02-Jun-2019

It resonate so much because I was at a friend's funeral a few days ago. She lived in another town and was widely respected in her community, being involved in many aspects. It was held in the Town Hall because so many people attended from a cross section of the community. I thought it was very respectfully done and portrayed her busy, interesting and community-focused life. But I knew her through a mutual motorcycling interest and no one was mentioning that, and it had been a major joy to her, travelling in different countries. I had been on tours in a group with her in Turkey, China and across the Nullarbor Plain In Australia from east coast to west.
I was shocked at my bravery when, at the end of the service, in front of hundreds of people I did not know, I leaped to my feet, climbed over a row of mourners and marched down the front to the microphone and told everyone a few anecdotes and reminiscences of our travels together. I was trembling and embarrassed afterwards, but the assembled multitude CLAPPED!! It was like i'd received a divine prompting to speak of my friend's other side... i'm glad I did not leave it too late and was able to share it with others. Lots of them!!

reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019

Good for you, Lisa!
What a wonderful tribute for you to have offered for your friend. And, yes, it had to have taken a special kind of bravery/divine prompting to do so!
I have never truly been able to wrap my head around the suffering my aunt endured.
Heart-breaking doesn't come close to describing it...
Thank you again!
diane

reply by LisaMay on 02-Jun-2019

It's always hard to imagine 'walking a mile in other's shoes'.

reply by the author on 02-Jun-2019

I never heard my grandparents bemoan the loss of their children: one to diphtheria, one a Japanese prisoner of WWII - but killed by an American submarine's guns - upon the Arisan Maru = unmarked POW ship. And then Aunt Barbara. My parents didn't speak of their loss, either...That has always mystified me, but I imagine they grieved in their own ways...
diane

reply by LisaMay on 02-Jun-2019

Such tragedies.... the POW story is terrible... to die by friendly fire.