Comment from Tomes Johnston

Excellent

This is yet another dark and brooding tale of the sinister variety that the author has created with this piece of work. This is truly a wonderfully chilling experience that you have created here. Well done yet again.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Thanks, Tomes. Not everyone likes these Picta-Poems of mine, but I'm very pleased to know that you do, my friend.

Thanks for yet another fine review. :}

~Dean

reply by Tomes Johnston on 23-Nov-2014

My pleasure

Comment from Michaelk

Excellent

Great poem, I really liked it. The imagery was quite vivid. I could picture a clawed, gnarled hand reaching out from under the bed. As frightening as your poem was, what gave me pause was the quote afterward. With all the horror I've been writing lately I had to ask myself, 'Have I stared into the abyss too long?'
Great poem as always.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Hah, yeah, I ask myself the same question quite often, Michael. I think it's fine to delve into the dark abyss frequently. Just don't stay there too long, LOL. Come up for "air" every now and again, if you catch my drift?

Thanks for the review, buddy. I'm glad you liked it. :}

~DeanO

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Loved your Picta poem, the dialogue is perfect for this style of poem, Dean, I just simply can't do this type of poem,written within a black background like this, the language is great for this style of poem, the 8686syllable count is good the abab rhyme scheme is great, the inventive language is also perfect! Well done, Dean, blessings, Roy,

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Thanks, Roy, and you could easily do it if someone showed you how. The late, simply great, Gungalow taught me how to do it, nearly two years ago, and I've been doing them ever since. It really isn't too difficult, once you get the hang of it. Lots of work, though. That's for sure!

Thanks for the review, my friend. it's always a pleasure. :}

~Dean

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I was always scared of the monsters under my bed, it didn't help that I used to scare my brother with creepy stories when we went to bed! LOL. This is another of your wonderful, horrific poems, Dean, I don't think I've read a Picta-Poem before. What are the rules? I have to say the music was nightmarish!! Brilliant. :) sandra

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

All Picta-Poems are is poetry that's super imposed over a photo, or picture, with a musical score added. You can find dozens of them in my portfolio in my book on FanStory, titled, "A Picture's Worth a Thousand Poems". Not all of them are quite so dark as this.

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 23-Nov-2014

I can't even get a picture in between stanzas, let alone over or under the words! I am going to take a look at your book.

reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Thanks, Sandra, I think you'll enjoy it. May I recommend "Purple's Majesty", and "There is a Place"? Those are two of my favorites, and they aren't very long. Of course, you more than free to read any of them you'd care to, my friend. I just appreciate you having a look. :}

Dean

Comment from ProjectBluebook

Exceptional

Fracking insane!!! I love this wacky work of art. The music is amusing to me. You are getting better and better at this. I see that you have no words visible in the author notes regarding autoplay. My autoplay is not accepting is what it probably is. May be my popper blocker. This is truly amazing! Count your doubloon. Spook-a-doo

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Ha-hah, thanks a million, Spook-A-Doo. I fully realize that these don't appeal to everyone... my Picta-Poems, I mean. But, I do it for those who do enjoy them, kind, thoughtful readers like yourself, for example.

Thanks again! I do appreciate it. :}~DeanO

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Very creppy. I like the childhood terror stories. It seems we all shared the same fears and nightmares - strange. Good alternating rhyme. I can't hear the music on my tablet, so I'll check back later. Well done.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Thanks, Lance. I did want this to evoke a child-like presence, so thanks for confirming for me that it came through for you.

Much obliged for the review, my friend. :}

Comment from rod007

Excellent

Excellent poem and the sound added to its disgust. Gut you quick then play with your corpse. I don't like that but then as they everything goes with the horror genre. Well done, Dean.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Yeah, and I rarely get too gory, Rod. I hate the "slasher" genre, the Michael Myers, Freddy Kruegers and Jason Vorhees of the lot. But this kid's got issues -- the kid in my poem, I mean, and he's done unspeakably horrid things to his family. That's the gist of it, anyway...

Thanks again for another fine review, my friend. It is appreciated. :}

Comment from emrpoems

Excellent

solid use of abab rhyming
good alliteration -beneath /bed,
As usual have used verbs that make a strong impact of the dark world you so love

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Thanks, emrpoems, but I think that "dark world" loves me far more than I love it, LOL.

I really appreciate you review. :)

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is an excellent pictapoem, dean, I've never learned how to do that yet. it looks brilliant. I didn't hear any music when I cut it on. they couldn't fit under my bed.

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Hah, ha, well, then, that's probably a good thing, sweet.

Thanks for the review, I appreciate it. :}

Comment from DR DIP

Exceptional

you have just scared the shit out of 65 million 4 year olds! especially if they are scared of the dark like I was so glad I never knew you as a 4 year old!! haha

with respect dip

unbelievable as usual

 Comment Written 23-Nov-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014

Hah, well, I was that kid who mothers warned their kids to stay away from. They kept coming home with nightmares, LOL!

Thanks, Dip. You always make a gloomy day seem a lot brighter, my friend. :}

~DeanO

reply by DR DIP on 23-Nov-2014

There's a poem in that!; lol

You always make a gloomy day
seem a whole lot brighter
What more words do I need to say
I'm a lover not a fighter

You always bring the sunshine
That warms my lonely heart
You I'm doing just fine
When I know we'll never part

You are a soulmate, you are a friend
You are there, when I'm feeling down
I know you'll be there till the end
That's why I'll never wear a frown

To you my friend, I thankyou here
I thankyou every single day
You are the one who will understand
There are no more words I need to say

as always

dip