Free Verse Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "The Dancers"A collection of free verse poems
92 total reviews
Comment from donnadiann
Your poem is cheerful to begin with and has a very good musical flow. The rhyming and near-rhymes are nice flowing lines. Also good internal rhyme...in the utter joyful stutter:)
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Your poem is cheerful to begin with and has a very good musical flow. The rhyming and near-rhymes are nice flowing lines. Also good internal rhyme...in the utter joyful stutter:)
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Donna, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from SusanKay
Once again I appreciate your creativity, and your daughter graphic. I could feel the joy and the youthfulness come alive as the rhythm between three young girls moved together in harmony.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Once again I appreciate your creativity, and your daughter graphic. I could feel the joy and the youthfulness come alive as the rhythm between three young girls moved together in harmony.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Susan, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from Lulube
I liked the style you did this poem in. Not uniformed but
in a graceful flow.
Great imagery. Good descriptive verses. The sight of these dancers is easy to believe and even the dust is visible through your great choice of words.
good work
lulube
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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I liked the style you did this poem in. Not uniformed but
in a graceful flow.
Great imagery. Good descriptive verses. The sight of these dancers is easy to believe and even the dust is visible through your great choice of words.
good work
lulube
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Lulube, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
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welcome]\]
lulube
Comment from gramalot8
Tony, what a splendid picture. It surely is captured in the words and the dance you paint in your poetic version of their playful dance. Great job and thanks for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Tony, what a splendid picture. It surely is captured in the words and the dance you paint in your poetic version of their playful dance. Great job and thanks for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Gramalot, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from closetpoetjester
What an incredibly lovely dance these girls broke out into and I must say as the imagery unfolded your words pulled me into the dance and they had a gatecrasher! LOL
This was terrific and the only thing that threw me in some parts WAS where the lines ended. I noticed the apology in the notes and DO understand...sometimes where the author wants to stop off, the reader doesn't want to, or finds the rhythm somehow doesn't let him. With that said, this was an enjoyable read and I wonder if this might be better done as little couplets or work it back to a quatrain. Thoroughly enjoyable and one thing I do recommend if leaving as is, IS to make use of enjambment. Where it feels like the next line runs straight on, quite simply let it. This really had a bouncy dancy feel overall and I will be checking out more of your work as you are a fellow Aussie too. BIG brownie points! Haha
Cheers P
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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What an incredibly lovely dance these girls broke out into and I must say as the imagery unfolded your words pulled me into the dance and they had a gatecrasher! LOL
This was terrific and the only thing that threw me in some parts WAS where the lines ended. I noticed the apology in the notes and DO understand...sometimes where the author wants to stop off, the reader doesn't want to, or finds the rhythm somehow doesn't let him. With that said, this was an enjoyable read and I wonder if this might be better done as little couplets or work it back to a quatrain. Thoroughly enjoyable and one thing I do recommend if leaving as is, IS to make use of enjambment. Where it feels like the next line runs straight on, quite simply let it. This really had a bouncy dancy feel overall and I will be checking out more of your work as you are a fellow Aussie too. BIG brownie points! Haha
Cheers P
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, P, and thank you so much for your very useful and carefully considered review. I do find that I have difficulty with line placements in fee verse, which is why I generally prefer to write within a set form. I'll have another look at this in the light of your comments and see if I can improve upon it. Thanks again.
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Me too mate. I find on one read I want them "there" then in the next read it all turns pear shaped and I feel like relocating them. It all comes down to preference and where YOU want the reader to stop but I think it helps to try and follow the rhythm and this one had it in droves. Well done.
I'm a form gal myself...I find free verse excruciating.
Cheers P
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So glad you enjoyed this one, P, and thank you so much for your very useful and carefully considered review. I do find that I have difficulty with line placements in fee verse, which is why I generally prefer to write within a set form. I'll have another look at this in the light of your comments and see if I can improve upon it. Thanks again.
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So glad you enjoyed this one, P, and thank you so much for your very useful and carefully considered review. I do find that I have difficulty with line placements in fee verse, which is why I generally prefer to write within a set form. I'll have another look at this in the light of your comments and see if I can improve upon it. Thanks again.
Comment from Leineco
I love the automatic rhythm that comes with reading this - it's almost like hearing a tribal drum beat driving it. And such a joyous occasion! Three little girls who break out in dancing. . . just for the sheer joy of it!!
Nicely done :-)
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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I love the automatic rhythm that comes with reading this - it's almost like hearing a tribal drum beat driving it. And such a joyous occasion! Three little girls who break out in dancing. . . just for the sheer joy of it!!
Nicely done :-)
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Leineco, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, Tony, what you have accomplished with this poem is really quite amazing, in my opinion. I read it aloud the second time, to get a feel for the incredible rhythm - it really comes alive, as if the dance itself is the poem. Just marvelous! A true delight!
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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Wow, Tony, what you have accomplished with this poem is really quite amazing, in my opinion. I read it aloud the second time, to get a feel for the incredible rhythm - it really comes alive, as if the dance itself is the poem. Just marvelous! A true delight!
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Dawn, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from Angels27
The writing and the words are so smooth flowing that it did not strike me that there are no punctuation marks. The picture captures and the words capture the sheer essense of joy and laughter. Just beautiful.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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The writing and the words are so smooth flowing that it did not strike me that there are no punctuation marks. The picture captures and the words capture the sheer essense of joy and laughter. Just beautiful.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, Angels, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from GWHARGIS
I liked the hurried feel in the middle. I could see hands raised in the air and the feet kicking up the dust in their joyful dance. Nice imagery and the tone was happy and innocent. The first stanza was great with the last two words being as one. It gave a great visual.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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I liked the hurried feel in the middle. I could see hands raised in the air and the feet kicking up the dust in their joyful dance. Nice imagery and the tone was happy and innocent. The first stanza was great with the last two words being as one. It gave a great visual.
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2014
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So glad you enjoyed this one, GWH, and thank you so much for your lovely review.
Comment from JeanneHP
Loved your poem, Tony. I'm not informed enough to give you any constructive feedback. I only know what poetry I enjoy reading. We were three best friends, life was so good and we danced as in your poem. It was beautifully written - no more need be said. :-)
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2014
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Loved your poem, Tony. I'm not informed enough to give you any constructive feedback. I only know what poetry I enjoy reading. We were three best friends, life was so good and we danced as in your poem. It was beautifully written - no more need be said. :-)
Comment Written 05-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2014
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Thanks, Jeanne. Glad it got your feet tapping! Tony