A Picture's Worth a Thousand Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "~Betrothed Remains~"A compilation of pictapoems from my portfolio
85 total reviews
Comment from Domino 2
Blimey, Dean.
That HAS to be the creepiest music and video I've ever seen. I watched the video for a while hoping the coffin lid would slam on that vile bony hand, but it kept missing. LOL.
Anyway, now it's finished, I can read your poem without hiding behind the sofa. :-)
I'm not into long notes, so I hope you don't mind me skipping them.
Fabulous presentation.
I love the oldy-worldy apt language you have used for extra atmosphere, and you sure are a 'real' poet.
There are a few lines where the meter is choppy, but I still thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience, so a well-deserved 'sixer' from me.
Cheers, Ted
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Blimey, Dean.
That HAS to be the creepiest music and video I've ever seen. I watched the video for a while hoping the coffin lid would slam on that vile bony hand, but it kept missing. LOL.
Anyway, now it's finished, I can read your poem without hiding behind the sofa. :-)
I'm not into long notes, so I hope you don't mind me skipping them.
Fabulous presentation.
I love the oldy-worldy apt language you have used for extra atmosphere, and you sure are a 'real' poet.
There are a few lines where the meter is choppy, but I still thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience, so a well-deserved 'sixer' from me.
Cheers, Ted
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Hey, thank you, Ted, I really appreciate such high praise, especially coming from you, my friend! You've made my day...
I'm glad you liked the Old-world, Poe-esque style of this one. I had my reservations about doing it that way, but old Edgar A. keep screamin' at me, Do it, lest you know-nevermore!" (LOL)
Thanks again, Ted, and have a wonderful weekend!
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No problem, Dean.
I just checked it out again, not only for your gifted words, but for those sound effects. Love the wind, creaking, sword-slash and evil laugh. Shiver! :-)
Comment from babylonia
Dean,
LOL He just wanted to make an honest woman of her. LOL Maybe she was pregnant at the time. Just kidding but we will never know. One thing about the wedding night, she ain't going to complain. LOL
Nicely done ....
Love,
Barbara
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Dean,
LOL He just wanted to make an honest woman of her. LOL Maybe she was pregnant at the time. Just kidding but we will never know. One thing about the wedding night, she ain't going to complain. LOL
Nicely done ....
Love,
Barbara
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Hah, nope, no complaints coming from her side, that's for sure, ha ha!
Thanks for the funny, fantastic review, Barbara. Much appreciated!
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Dean,
LOL Glad you enjoyed the review.
Love,
Barbara
Comment from teafor2
Dean Kuch--This one begs an answer to the question:
"Is death the master of us all?" We have information about
two who beat it, but that's a very, very low average.:)
In this case death is portrayed as not just a scoundrel,
but an uncaring thief with some ulterior motives. However,
this speaker may be harboring much ill will due to a per-
sonal "ax-to-grind" since it is his "~Betrothed Remains~"
that are the "bones-of-contention." Of course, I am basing
my reasoning on scribe's/speaker's passionate/adamant
lament...specifically, the last verse! Author notes gave
this "impartial" observer some "grave" insight. :) teafor2
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Dean Kuch--This one begs an answer to the question:
"Is death the master of us all?" We have information about
two who beat it, but that's a very, very low average.:)
In this case death is portrayed as not just a scoundrel,
but an uncaring thief with some ulterior motives. However,
this speaker may be harboring much ill will due to a per-
sonal "ax-to-grind" since it is his "~Betrothed Remains~"
that are the "bones-of-contention." Of course, I am basing
my reasoning on scribe's/speaker's passionate/adamant
lament...specifically, the last verse! Author notes gave
this "impartial" observer some "grave" insight. :) teafor2
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Ha ha, an excellent review, teafor2, truly clever, and as entertaining as many of the stories I've been reading lately.
Thanks very much!
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U R welcome.
Comment from SteveY
Man oh man you just keep on producing these wonderful scary poems my friend. But why not they're awesomely done! Way to go once again my talented friend.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Man oh man you just keep on producing these wonderful scary poems my friend. But why not they're awesomely done! Way to go once again my talented friend.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Thanks, Steve, I appreciate the kind words!
I get my inspiration from the weirdest places. The problem is, most if it is based on fact. Now, THAT'S the truly "scary" part, LOL...
Thanks, again!
Comment from TOMORAL
you've gone and done it again. Made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Interesting about the man who married is dead girlfriend. This is superb, chilling, thrilling and deserves a six but I don't have one. Keep on bringing us these scary stories, I have become addicted.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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you've gone and done it again. Made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Interesting about the man who married is dead girlfriend. This is superb, chilling, thrilling and deserves a six but I don't have one. Keep on bringing us these scary stories, I have become addicted.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Yeah, weird, isn't it TOMORAL? It takes all kinds, I guess.
Thanks for the wonderful review, my friend!
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Dean, I sure as hell am glad I didn't read this last night. I may have dived into my closet never to return.
Strong imagery, which was really pushing the freaking and dreadful button for me. But then I'm a sap I'm sure I've said that many times. I'm not afraid to say I am a chicken!
Your author notes had me reading twice in case I had not read it properly the first time.
WOW! How did she sign the register ???LOL
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Hi Dean, I sure as hell am glad I didn't read this last night. I may have dived into my closet never to return.
Strong imagery, which was really pushing the freaking and dreadful button for me. But then I'm a sap I'm sure I've said that many times. I'm not afraid to say I am a chicken!
Your author notes had me reading twice in case I had not read it properly the first time.
WOW! How did she sign the register ???LOL
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Hah, thank you very much, Maureen, I really appreciate that!
I don't know how she signed the registry, but, even worse than that, how did the bride and groom pull off their couple's dance?! That would be something I'd sure pay to see, LOL...
Comment from robina1978
Excellent picture for this poem. Making love to a corpse is considered to be mentally ill. Your poem is excellent and really thrilling and bizarre.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Excellent picture for this poem. Making love to a corpse is considered to be mentally ill. Your poem is excellent and really thrilling and bizarre.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Thanks very much, robina1978, I sincerely appreciate that.
The guy in question never actually consummated the marriage, he never had sex with the corpse of his dearly betrothed. However, he did marry her, complete with ceremony and everything.
Comment from mickbey
Thrilling! You captured the essence of the season with this poem, from reading your profile I would have to guess it's a favorite for you, the author notes are almost as interesting as the poem, good job of journalism, digging out facts and then imaging them in a poem, that's why I rate this one so highly, it's a good learning tool to see 'actual' events transferred into art, a lot to like about this one, and the sound, don't want to forget that, you work hard to make a good production, good luck with your goals.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Thrilling! You captured the essence of the season with this poem, from reading your profile I would have to guess it's a favorite for you, the author notes are almost as interesting as the poem, good job of journalism, digging out facts and then imaging them in a poem, that's why I rate this one so highly, it's a good learning tool to see 'actual' events transferred into art, a lot to like about this one, and the sound, don't want to forget that, you work hard to make a good production, good luck with your goals.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Thanks so much for that wonderful compliment, mickbey. And you are right in your assumption, I do write primarily horror and thriller fiction, along with dark poetry.
This is a format I've created exclusively for Fanstory. I call it a 'pictapoem'. It is a poem, embedded within a piece of art, with an accompanying sound track or musical score. They are all in my book, A Picture's Worth A Thousand Poems in my portfolio. If you ever have the time, check them out, I believe you'd like the topics, as they all vary.
Thanks again, my friend, and have yourself a pleasant weekend!
Comment from ragamuffin
The style of language used really aids in driving home the creepiness of this piece- such beautiful words used to paint such a macabre picture. To each his own, but I find it kind of "mentally unhealthy" to wed a corpse. Per usual, my mind runs a little wild and the last stanza particularly makes me wonder if there is a "live" situation that this could be applied, running along the lines of bad relationships doing someone in. Excellent piece.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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The style of language used really aids in driving home the creepiness of this piece- such beautiful words used to paint such a macabre picture. To each his own, but I find it kind of "mentally unhealthy" to wed a corpse. Per usual, my mind runs a little wild and the last stanza particularly makes me wonder if there is a "live" situation that this could be applied, running along the lines of bad relationships doing someone in. Excellent piece.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Thank you ragamuffin. I'm very grateful for the wonderful review.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Dean. I certainly feel that Deffy was a little daffy. Maybe more than a little, too.. LOL What a fine presentation and the text is outstanding, my friend. Bravo! Bob
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Hi, Dean. I certainly feel that Deffy was a little daffy. Maybe more than a little, too.. LOL What a fine presentation and the text is outstanding, my friend. Bravo! Bob
Comment Written 01-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2013
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Hah, thanks, Bob, I appreciate that!
Yeah, unfortunately there are people out there in this big, blue world of ours whose elevators don't go all the way to the top floor, if you get my drift, LOL...