Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 47 "Okoka Moon, Part Two"Murder Mystery
44 total reviews
Comment from James W. A.
Very well done! Although I missed the first part of this, your notes at the beginning and context clues allowed me to put enough of it together to get something out of the story. Your wording definitely provided imagery for me and your characters seem to be interesting and memorable as well. I might go back and read the first part now and am interested to see how the rest of the story plays out. As noted, great job!
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Very well done! Although I missed the first part of this, your notes at the beginning and context clues allowed me to put enough of it together to get something out of the story. Your wording definitely provided imagery for me and your characters seem to be interesting and memorable as well. I might go back and read the first part now and am interested to see how the rest of the story plays out. As noted, great job!
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much, James, for taking time to read my chapter. I really appreciate your kind words of support and encouragement. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from judiverse
A lot of tense moments in this. Eddie is truly under the control of the demon, who threatens him if he doesn't do exactly as he demands. The devil clearly wants the soul of Father Brian. Good for the guy who spots Eddie's vehicle and gets the license number. Father Briar's recollection of his visit with Debra shortly before her murder was sweet. It shows the torment that he goes through about how much emotion he should show as a priest. Interesting that he thinks about consulting with the tribal healer. Very chilling phone call, and the reference to Briar's mother committing adultery with a priest is intended to put him over the edge. Excellent. Judi
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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A lot of tense moments in this. Eddie is truly under the control of the demon, who threatens him if he doesn't do exactly as he demands. The devil clearly wants the soul of Father Brian. Good for the guy who spots Eddie's vehicle and gets the license number. Father Briar's recollection of his visit with Debra shortly before her murder was sweet. It shows the torment that he goes through about how much emotion he should show as a priest. Interesting that he thinks about consulting with the tribal healer. Very chilling phone call, and the reference to Briar's mother committing adultery with a priest is intended to put him over the edge. Excellent. Judi
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Judi, thank you so much for your awesome review. I really appreciate your sticking with me in this chapter. It's a bit late in coming due to life intervening. So, your support is especially nice. Warmest regards, Bev
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You're so welcome, Bev. It's worth sticking with! judi
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Thanks, Judi. :0)
Comment from Darkhorse555
from the pictured snake all colourful in its deadliness reading the background falling on this beautiful piece excellent piece of writing a delightful read
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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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from the pictured snake all colourful in its deadliness reading the background falling on this beautiful piece excellent piece of writing a delightful read
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much, Darkhorse. I'm sure the artist will be pleased by your kind comments, as am I. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Bev - the atmosphere you set with your words makes this the
scariest story I've ever read - you're such a natural.
I'm on the end of my seat. I just wish I had a six for you,
but I'm all out.
Here's a ten **********
hoped he'd eased her.- hers??
"C'mon in(,) Father.
with you accordingly[.](,)" Brian responded. - comma
Margaret
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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Bev - the atmosphere you set with your words makes this the
scariest story I've ever read - you're such a natural.
I'm on the end of my seat. I just wish I had a six for you,
but I'm all out.
Here's a ten **********
hoped he'd eased her.- hers??
"C'mon in(,) Father.
with you accordingly[.](,)" Brian responded. - comma
Margaret
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2013
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Margaret, you've put me over the moon with your wonderful, encouraging words. A virtual ten from you is especially sweet. And thanks for catching my spaggies. Warmest regards, Bev