Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "A Kazuzu Moon"Murder Mystery
49 total reviews
Comment from donaldww
A new detective has been assigned to the case, and it sounds to me like things will be better with him on board. He has more resources and will be able to look at things with a fresh eye.
I noticed that Stredwick hasn't been added to the list of characters. Does that mean he won't be around too long?
Stredwick's [compusure] remained nonplussed.
(spelling: compusure = composure
Since the word nonplused should refer directly to a person, the way it is written here sounds wrong because it refers to his composure rather than himself. I think it would sound better with composure removed, as in:
Stredwick remained nonplussed.
)
Excellent post!
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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A new detective has been assigned to the case, and it sounds to me like things will be better with him on board. He has more resources and will be able to look at things with a fresh eye.
I noticed that Stredwick hasn't been added to the list of characters. Does that mean he won't be around too long?
Stredwick's [compusure] remained nonplussed.
(spelling: compusure = composure
Since the word nonplused should refer directly to a person, the way it is written here sounds wrong because it refers to his composure rather than himself. I think it would sound better with composure removed, as in:
Stredwick remained nonplussed.
)
Excellent post!
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Hi, Donald. I appreciate the suggestion - makes sense completely. Thanks so much for taking time to review and offer your support. I appreciate it.
Warm regards, Bev
Comment from c_lucas
No one like strangers butting in on their turf. This has raised the fiction and suspense level. Very good job. Keep up the good work.
Errors
. I won't like (it), though.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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No one like strangers butting in on their turf. This has raised the fiction and suspense level. Very good job. Keep up the good work.
Errors
. I won't like (it), though.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Thanks so much, charlie. I really appreciate the support and encouragement. :0) Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Charlie
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:0) Looking for another chapter from you, my friend.
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Surgery, rehabilitation, writing. You'll have a wait. I enter the hospital Monday.
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Surgery? I didn't know charlie. I'll send you some good, healing thoughts. Good luck!
Bev
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Thank you, Bev. Charlie
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Keep us posted, charlie.
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I won't have access to a computer until I get home.
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I understand. :0)
Comment from JM daSilva
I like your style. I missed it. you've been away for a while. The scene is clear, the dialogue is great. No further comment, Detective.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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I like your style. I missed it. you've been away for a while. The scene is clear, the dialogue is great. No further comment, Detective.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Thanks, JM. What a gracious review! :0) Bev
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Great pleasure.
Comment from judiverse
This is great. Very exciting, and you capture the dynamics of the police department and trying to work with the Feds. Dresden Stredwick is quite a name, and you probably won't run across someone with that same name! He seems to think a lot of himself and wants things to go his way. There's resentment on the part of some of the police officers for having to work with him. Dres specializes in handling with cases involving cults, and the religious angle is important in this one. Rick claims to know the identity of the leaker, and at the end it sounds as if Skeets is the boy. Anything for that sexy TV anchor. judi
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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This is great. Very exciting, and you capture the dynamics of the police department and trying to work with the Feds. Dresden Stredwick is quite a name, and you probably won't run across someone with that same name! He seems to think a lot of himself and wants things to go his way. There's resentment on the part of some of the police officers for having to work with him. Dres specializes in handling with cases involving cults, and the religious angle is important in this one. Rick claims to know the identity of the leaker, and at the end it sounds as if Skeets is the boy. Anything for that sexy TV anchor. judi
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much, Judi. I really appreciate your insights, support and generosity. Means a lot to me. xx Bev
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Hi, Bev. You're so welcome. I still can't get over that name. I'm curious to see whether he will be a help or hindrance with the case. judi
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I'm glad you like that name, too, Judi. Thanks again, buddy. Fireworks are blaring as a backdrop to this answer. Best part of the Fourth. :0)
Comment from Brenda F. Ring
So refreshing to read something so well written with only one possible correction! My only suggestion would be that instead of "posed a question of the only female" it's customary to say, "posed a question to the only female." Otherwise, I found this to be easy to read and very interesting. Makes me want to keep reading to find out what Skeets retrieved. The plot thickens!
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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So refreshing to read something so well written with only one possible correction! My only suggestion would be that instead of "posed a question of the only female" it's customary to say, "posed a question to the only female." Otherwise, I found this to be easy to read and very interesting. Makes me want to keep reading to find out what Skeets retrieved. The plot thickens!
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Brenda, thanks for the great review and suggested change. I think your way sounds better :0) Bev
Comment from SteveY
Hey this was really good. I liked it a lot. I kind of gotta know what is coming next. Sounds like a television series if you ask me.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Hey this was really good. I liked it a lot. I kind of gotta know what is coming next. Sounds like a television series if you ask me.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Hi, Steve. Thank you for taking time to read and review. I appreciate your generosity and support. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Bev,
This is well penned as always. Your images, detail and character dialogues as well as their growth in the story is fabulous.
I always try to read this story in daylight:)
Thanks for sharing it. Couple of points below to check- I may be wrong:)
Maureen
Edit checks:
"What's up with Rick? He's fidgeting over there (las) if he's sitting in a pile of red ants. // Yikes I got itchy too. Also las = as??
""Anything you want to share, Skeets before we get started?" "// Not that I am any good on punctuation. But it seemed to me there should be a comma after Skeets??
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Hi Bev,
This is well penned as always. Your images, detail and character dialogues as well as their growth in the story is fabulous.
I always try to read this story in daylight:)
Thanks for sharing it. Couple of points below to check- I may be wrong:)
Maureen
Edit checks:
"What's up with Rick? He's fidgeting over there (las) if he's sitting in a pile of red ants. // Yikes I got itchy too. Also las = as??
""Anything you want to share, Skeets before we get started?" "// Not that I am any good on punctuation. But it seemed to me there should be a comma after Skeets??
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Hi, Maureen. Thank you for this wonderful review. I so appreciate your continued support. I had a comma after Skeets, but my grammar checker said no. I think I'll add it back 'cause it does seem to read right with one. Hope you're feeling well, my lovely friend.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I love the riff on the FBI. LOL
I don't blame you. It only makes sense not to take chances. I enjoyed reading again. Good job.
Skeets was stunned. "How'd he hear what Russ said from behind a closed door," he wondered. (? after door)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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I love the riff on the FBI. LOL
I don't blame you. It only makes sense not to take chances. I enjoyed reading again. Good job.
Skeets was stunned. "How'd he hear what Russ said from behind a closed door," he wondered. (? after door)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Hi, barbara. Thanks for the heads-up on the spaggie and great review. :0) Bev
Comment from RedMarie33
This is the first chapter I've read from your book, but I got sucked in from just reading the "Previously" section. (By the way, I find it so helpful when authors put that section at the beginning of a chapter on FS). I love the sentance in that section where Jana says "We go about our business and apologize to no one. Agreed?" I'm in full agreement with her on that sentiment! (-:
I am a big lover of crime mysteries & suspense, and I found this chapter really intriguing. This has definitely piqued my interest to go back and start at the beginning of the book. I also found the author's notes to be helpful.
Thanks
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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This is the first chapter I've read from your book, but I got sucked in from just reading the "Previously" section. (By the way, I find it so helpful when authors put that section at the beginning of a chapter on FS). I love the sentance in that section where Jana says "We go about our business and apologize to no one. Agreed?" I'm in full agreement with her on that sentiment! (-:
I am a big lover of crime mysteries & suspense, and I found this chapter really intriguing. This has definitely piqued my interest to go back and start at the beginning of the book. I also found the author's notes to be helpful.
Thanks
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Hi, RedMarie. Thank you so much for this gracious and encouraging review. I'm honored you took time on this busy holiday to read and review. It's also, very helpful to get your unique insights into the story. I appreciate that very much.
Warmest regards, Bev