Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Exceptional

That was such a funny ending! I can just see your parents faces when you said it to the waitress! Lol. What a wonderful story. I liked the body in the road part, what a good idea! I'm sure people took notice of what being a 'good Samaritan' can bring about. Not that reward should be the reason for being kind, but it does help!! LOL. I've always wondered why they let Route 66 just crumble away, I'm sure it was a great way to get to wherever you're going with ease. I enjoyed your story, Jay, it has started my day with a smile. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023

Thank you, Sandra. As usual, thank you for your kindness and taking the time to enjoy such a long story. Yes, it's a shame about what they let happen to route 66. Progress and speed. So many "bodies in the street" and other stunts that were missed, or only seen from the freeway and in the rear-view mirror as they whip along at 70 miles per hour. And the booths. The lovely jewelry and other souvenirs -- the smell of leather, still captured in my nostrils. Love you, girl.
Jay

Jay

Comment from amahra

Exceptional

Hahahaha! Loved this story, Jay. I really enjoyed it and was on the trip with you and your family. Just a few things below:

"...into which his presence [wrapt] us." [Ok, cute, but wrapt hasn't been used since the mid-19th century. What's wrong with 'wrapped'?]
"...the hot belly of America;" [Great metaphor.]
"...reaching her arm over the [seatback],..." [seatback or backseat?]
[noxema] No...[noxzema]
"I ain't pickin' any!" [Beautiful way to end the story without repeat.]

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023

Thank you, Amahra, once again for your close read. I did go back in and checked the word "wrapt" with the intent of changing it to "wrapped". I found that most said that wrapt could be used as an alternative. Still, I decided maybe it was too archaic ... until I read of
"wrapt's" origin. It is a misspell of "rapt" (as in rapture). That went along perfectly with what I was trying to get across in that sentence ... that I decided to keep it a while. If I find it grinds too many readers to a stop at that word, I will change it. "Seatback" was intentional, since it refers to the seat itself, and carries the movement of her arm over it. Noxzema! Sure! A rookie error. I'll fix it right away. I'm so happy you enjoyed the story in spite of the "slow-downs".

Jay

Comment from Ricky1024

Excellent

This was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and good luck with your contest entry.
Doctor Ricky 1024

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Feb-2023

Thank you, Ricky. I'm happy you enjoyed my story.

Jay

reply by Ricky1024 on 26-Feb-2023