This Time - That Time 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Amelia Shows Her Mettle"Third book in the time travel trilogy
36 total reviews
Comment from JDRBAR
Aaarrrrgggghhhhhhhh! You did it again! Your chapters are simply too SHORT! If I hadn't read another single chapter of your books, this one would make me want to. Excellently written as usual but with an added flavor of realism in the dialogue and reactions of your characters. Very, very well done.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Aaarrrrgggghhhhhhhh! You did it again! Your chapters are simply too SHORT! If I hadn't read another single chapter of your books, this one would make me want to. Excellently written as usual but with an added flavor of realism in the dialogue and reactions of your characters. Very, very well done.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Wow! You've really made my day, Diane!! Thank you so much for this amazing review and all those gorgeous stars! I'm delighted you enjoyed this part. Thank you! Biggest hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
How is the book coming along? xx
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Bravo! Another great chapter. Love the new cover too. I thoroughly enjoyed the part where Gladys took the crumpled letter from the jerk's pocket and gave it back to Mildred. LOL! Charles had to believe his eyes, so he has to believe Gladys is a ghost. What fun! :)
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Bravo! Another great chapter. Love the new cover too. I thoroughly enjoyed the part where Gladys took the crumpled letter from the jerk's pocket and gave it back to Mildred. LOL! Charles had to believe his eyes, so he has to believe Gladys is a ghost. What fun! :)
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Bless your heart, my friend, thank you so very much for this fabulous review and all the lovely shiny stars. Charles just cannot see what a dangerous game he's playing. You don't upset ghosts! Big hugs, dear friend. I'm glad you managed to read this part. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from WryWriter
Geez, what a way to end this chapter. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Must turn the page! What does the look on Mildred's face mean? In other words...Superb work! : )
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Geez, what a way to end this chapter. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Must turn the page! What does the look on Mildred's face mean? In other words...Superb work! : )
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you so very much for this amazing review and the lovely golden stars, my friend!! I'm delighted you enjoyed it that much, thank you! :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from rama devi
Nice book cover!
First, I want to apologize for not being able to keep up with all your posts. I've not been very active here of late, and I mostly don't take time to review prose because I can't spare the editing energy. However, today, I am just twenty pages away from finishing one of the books I've been editing.
As usual, superb characterization and fine pacing and descriptive detail. Compelling interactions, especially with Charles. Excellent POV.
NOTES:
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The icy looks akin to spears of evil directed at Amelia would have sent a lesser person to their grave.
Consider an alternative word order:
The icy looks directed at Amelia, akin to spears of evil, would have sent a lesser person to their grave.
*
Charles stared at the envelope Amelia held but didn't bother to take it.
The reader already knows Amelia holds the envelope, so I suggest trimming to:
Charles stared at the envelope but didn't bother to take it.
*When she jiggled it in her fingers, he snatched it away and(,) barely taking his eyes off hers, he pulled out the note.
Awkward with the AND instead of two sentences. Suggest:
When she jiggled it in her fingers, he snatched it away. Barely taking his eyes off hers, he pulled out the note.
*
The smile on Amelia's face remained,(;) in fact, it brightened and now lit up her eyes.
*
There followed a malignant silence steeped with hostility.
Good place for a simile.
*
With that, Amelia stood up, smoothed her skirts and retrieved her walking stick(,) which was(had been) leant(leaning) against the windowsill. "I think that concludes our meeting for today."
*The look on Charles' face as he watched the letter float through the air,(no ,) gave me the greatest pleasure.
*
It was at the moment we were startled by a knock at the front door. A visitor?
A bit wordy and passive voicing too. Suggest:
A knock at the front door startled us. A visitor?
*A few seconds later(,) we heard muffled voices(,) and Tommy walked into the sitting room.
*
He chuckled and walked straight over to Mildred, and putting his hands on her shoulders pulled her close and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
Awkward flow and wordy. Suggest:
He chuckled, walked straight over to Mildred, put his hands on her shoulders, pulled her close and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
*
Her eyes dropped again to the card in her lap and she smiled to see it lifted into the air and waved up and down.
Optional suggestion:
Her eyes dropped again to the card in her lap. She smiled to see it lift into the air and wave up and down.
Good closing hook...leaving the reader hanging!
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Nice book cover!
First, I want to apologize for not being able to keep up with all your posts. I've not been very active here of late, and I mostly don't take time to review prose because I can't spare the editing energy. However, today, I am just twenty pages away from finishing one of the books I've been editing.
As usual, superb characterization and fine pacing and descriptive detail. Compelling interactions, especially with Charles. Excellent POV.
NOTES:
*
The icy looks akin to spears of evil directed at Amelia would have sent a lesser person to their grave.
Consider an alternative word order:
The icy looks directed at Amelia, akin to spears of evil, would have sent a lesser person to their grave.
*
Charles stared at the envelope Amelia held but didn't bother to take it.
The reader already knows Amelia holds the envelope, so I suggest trimming to:
Charles stared at the envelope but didn't bother to take it.
*When she jiggled it in her fingers, he snatched it away and(,) barely taking his eyes off hers, he pulled out the note.
Awkward with the AND instead of two sentences. Suggest:
When she jiggled it in her fingers, he snatched it away. Barely taking his eyes off hers, he pulled out the note.
*
The smile on Amelia's face remained,(;) in fact, it brightened and now lit up her eyes.
*
There followed a malignant silence steeped with hostility.
Good place for a simile.
*
With that, Amelia stood up, smoothed her skirts and retrieved her walking stick(,) which was(had been) leant(leaning) against the windowsill. "I think that concludes our meeting for today."
*The look on Charles' face as he watched the letter float through the air,(no ,) gave me the greatest pleasure.
*
It was at the moment we were startled by a knock at the front door. A visitor?
A bit wordy and passive voicing too. Suggest:
A knock at the front door startled us. A visitor?
*A few seconds later(,) we heard muffled voices(,) and Tommy walked into the sitting room.
*
He chuckled and walked straight over to Mildred, and putting his hands on her shoulders pulled her close and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
Awkward flow and wordy. Suggest:
He chuckled, walked straight over to Mildred, put his hands on her shoulders, pulled her close and dropped a kiss on her forehead.
*
Her eyes dropped again to the card in her lap and she smiled to see it lifted into the air and waved up and down.
Optional suggestion:
Her eyes dropped again to the card in her lap. She smiled to see it lift into the air and wave up and down.
Good closing hook...leaving the reader hanging!
Warmly, rd
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you so much, Rama, for this thorough review, and helpful suggestions. I've copied and pasted into my MS Word, now to go through them! I'm glad to hear you are keeping busy, my friend. Big hugs. Sandra xxx
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Thanks! Big hugs! xxoo
Comment from beizanten
A VERY interesting summary of past chapter. a well written first paragraph. What did Adage mean? You have good storyline and interesting characters that you bring to life
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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A VERY interesting summary of past chapter. a well written first paragraph. What did Adage mean? You have good storyline and interesting characters that you bring to life
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Thank you for reading, Beizanten. Adage = saying, expression, proverb... I'm glad you enjoyed this part. :) Sandra
Comment from tfawcus
Wonderful scene between Aunt Amelia and Charles. Two strong wills pitted against each other and neither giving way. The writing of this is just marvellous. There's no sign yet of Charles breaking, but I'll bet there are a few hairline cracks under the surface!
Just one typo to fix: Mildred gave him a gentle thumped on the arm.
Much looking forward to the next chapter in this battle of the giants!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Wonderful scene between Aunt Amelia and Charles. Two strong wills pitted against each other and neither giving way. The writing of this is just marvellous. There's no sign yet of Charles breaking, but I'll bet there are a few hairline cracks under the surface!
Just one typo to fix: Mildred gave him a gentle thumped on the arm.
Much looking forward to the next chapter in this battle of the giants!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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What a lovely review, Tony! Thank you so much for the six stars and a humungous hug for spotting that error. I've fixed it now. The cracks will start to appear soon and end up like an earthquake! lol. I really appreciate this review, thank you! :)) Sandra xx