This Time - That Time 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "James Discovers More Bad News"Third book in the time travel trilogy
34 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Sandra. Another well-written chapter to your project. Your use of wonderful imagery is a big plus with your writes. Like this for instance:
"James smiled, and then putting his finger under my chin, he tilted my head up and kissed me gently on the lips.
Your use of natural-sounding dialogue helps to propel the action a lot.
Suggestions: " ....on the table angrily as my frustrations grew." (I suggest as my frustrations mounted)
Bless you, my friend. good job. Bob
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2019
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Hi, Sandra. Another well-written chapter to your project. Your use of wonderful imagery is a big plus with your writes. Like this for instance:
"James smiled, and then putting his finger under my chin, he tilted my head up and kissed me gently on the lips.
Your use of natural-sounding dialogue helps to propel the action a lot.
Suggestions: " ....on the table angrily as my frustrations grew." (I suggest as my frustrations mounted)
Bless you, my friend. good job. Bob
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2019
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That's a wonderful word, thank you, Bob. I'll use that. And thank you so much for this very complimentary review. I mostly write the way I speak. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing to admit!! lol. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi Sandra,
You are so brilliant the way you think through these problems in the story. My head spins trying to follow your thinking lol!
That word you invented is hilarious. You really are a time travellor :)
Joy xx
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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2019
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Hi Sandra,
You are so brilliant the way you think through these problems in the story. My head spins trying to follow your thinking lol!
That word you invented is hilarious. You really are a time travellor :)
Joy xx
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Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2019
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That was so funny, Joy. When I went to have a look, (I like to explain if it's just an English word) well, you can imagine how I laughed when I saw it was S Mitchell. Now I'm beginning to wonder if these stories I'm writing aren't flash backs from previous lives!! LOL!! Thanks for the lovely review, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from royowen
Well done Sandra, this is becoming quite exciting, you've got me wrapped up in the anxieties and worries of Veronica, but there was some good news as far as speculation goes, that ofbthevnurse with the Cornish accent. A very interesting cross roads you've brought us to Sandra, well done, great writing, blessings, Roy
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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2019
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Well done Sandra, this is becoming quite exciting, you've got me wrapped up in the anxieties and worries of Veronica, but there was some good news as far as speculation goes, that ofbthevnurse with the Cornish accent. A very interesting cross roads you've brought us to Sandra, well done, great writing, blessings, Roy
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Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2019
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Thank you. Roy, I'm glad you picked up on that. This story has been far more traumatic for Veronica, what with the possibility of losing James and the children, and Mildred having to work hard in her old age. Lets hope she can sort it all out! Big hugs my dear friend. (did you get my card?) Sandra xxx
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Or perhaps the powers that be will.
Comment from Rob Caudle
Great Job Sandra, well paced you do a great jo keeping the reader following along. a nice hook at the makes for a real page turner.
this bit of ordinary is what makes the piece sing. Your abilty to go from time travel to ordinary moments keep us engaged and the tension as taught as a bow
string.
I took two camomile teabags out of the box, put one in each of the cups, and poured the boiled water over them, yelping when some splashed on my hand. "Blast!" I slammed the kettle back on the range and quickly ran cold water over the scalded area before it blistered. That'll teach you to concentrate on what you're doing!
Rob
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2019
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Great Job Sandra, well paced you do a great jo keeping the reader following along. a nice hook at the makes for a real page turner.
this bit of ordinary is what makes the piece sing. Your abilty to go from time travel to ordinary moments keep us engaged and the tension as taught as a bow
string.
I took two camomile teabags out of the box, put one in each of the cups, and poured the boiled water over them, yelping when some splashed on my hand. "Blast!" I slammed the kettle back on the range and quickly ran cold water over the scalded area before it blistered. That'll teach you to concentrate on what you're doing!
Rob
Comment Written 09-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2019
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Aw, thank you, Rob! My first review and you gave it a 6, you have made my day! Thank you so much for this lovely review, and the fabulous comments. You are so kind and I really appreciate them and you! Sending big hugs! Sandra xxx