Forget Me Not
A Crown of Heroic Sonnets for the contest55 total reviews
Comment from Curly Girly
What a superb write!
I liked the way it ended:
When life is on the ebb and thoughts are blue,
and rheumy eyes detect a blur of Heaven,
I'll contemplate these years of richer hue,
forgetting not the smaller gifts we're given.
This precious life's on loan, and when it's done,
roots curl around the moisture of cold stone.
Yes, life is on loan. There is much to think about here. At first, I thought it was the story of a house, but then I think it appeared to apply to human life. Perhaps the two are entwined. It's sad as if life is coming to an end, but the hope of Heaven beckons.
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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What a superb write!
I liked the way it ended:
When life is on the ebb and thoughts are blue,
and rheumy eyes detect a blur of Heaven,
I'll contemplate these years of richer hue,
forgetting not the smaller gifts we're given.
This precious life's on loan, and when it's done,
roots curl around the moisture of cold stone.
Yes, life is on loan. There is much to think about here. At first, I thought it was the story of a house, but then I think it appeared to apply to human life. Perhaps the two are entwined. It's sad as if life is coming to an end, but the hope of Heaven beckons.
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thanks, Curly Girly, for your review and kind comments. Appreciated! Tony
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Forget Me Not" is an exceptionally well-written and delightfully written piece. This talented poet's work was a true pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to reading more of your work. I apologize for not having a six. You definitely deserve one.
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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"Forget Me Not" is an exceptionally well-written and delightfully written piece. This talented poet's work was a true pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to reading more of your work. I apologize for not having a six. You definitely deserve one.
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thanks, Duchess, for your review and kind comments. Appreciated! Tony
Comment from IndianaIrish
I, delighted I have a six for your Crown, Tony! If I didn't, I would have waited until tomorrow when we get our stash. You're an amazing poet, and your Crown certainly verifies that belief, Tony. Such incredible imagery, meter, emjambment, alliteration, and most of all--emotion. I love how you bring it full circle. There were a few rhymes I found difficult, but I think it's the way you pronounce them. Best of wishes to you in the contest with this outstanding Crown of Sonnets.
Smile!
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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I, delighted I have a six for your Crown, Tony! If I didn't, I would have waited until tomorrow when we get our stash. You're an amazing poet, and your Crown certainly verifies that belief, Tony. Such incredible imagery, meter, emjambment, alliteration, and most of all--emotion. I love how you bring it full circle. There were a few rhymes I found difficult, but I think it's the way you pronounce them. Best of wishes to you in the contest with this outstanding Crown of Sonnets.
Smile!
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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Very many thanks, Karyn. This one certainly took a while to put together, and I'm delighted that you thought the result worthwhile. I appreciate your award of six stars. Yes, there are a few 'near' rhymes in this, but I'm hoping that content outweighs form! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from DR DIP
T that is a wonderful write of connecting sonnets if there was a 7 and if I had a six left, you would have it in spades .Usually I read sonnets and get lost in Shakespearean like flowery metaphorical bullshit but this one is different it had a definite theme a wonderful changing theme of growing old gracefully with age and sitting back and taking in that aging process Well that's my interpretation at least
The first sonnet looks vaguely familiar have you posted this before in a slightly different form?
well done my friend
dip
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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T that is a wonderful write of connecting sonnets if there was a 7 and if I had a six left, you would have it in spades .Usually I read sonnets and get lost in Shakespearean like flowery metaphorical bullshit but this one is different it had a definite theme a wonderful changing theme of growing old gracefully with age and sitting back and taking in that aging process Well that's my interpretation at least
The first sonnet looks vaguely familiar have you posted this before in a slightly different form?
well done my friend
dip
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 21-May-2017
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Thanks, Dip, for your review and kind comments. Appreciated! I've not posted anything like this before, except a year or two ago a fairly lengthy stretch of blank verse about the old house at an earlier stage of restoration. Maybe that's what you were thinking of. I also wrote a couple of poems about some particularly hardy succulents called Pigface or Iceplant, which are clinging tenaciously to life on a sheer rock-face behind the house. Tony
Comment from Dawn Munro
Tony, you know that I could not pass this by; I LOVE the Crown of Heroic Sonnets when well-written, and there's none better than you, one of my all-time favorite poets, to pen the form - I am so delighted you did! My mother had a favorite wildflower, and I wrote a poem of tribute to it, and her - the Forget-Me-Not is MY favorite, and your use of it as the commencing stanza and title would have drawn me in no matter WHO wrote it. But my friend, this is the most beautiful poem, my favorite of everything of yours I've read - I wish I'd written it...
(I KNEW I was saving that last six for something special...)
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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Tony, you know that I could not pass this by; I LOVE the Crown of Heroic Sonnets when well-written, and there's none better than you, one of my all-time favorite poets, to pen the form - I am so delighted you did! My mother had a favorite wildflower, and I wrote a poem of tribute to it, and her - the Forget-Me-Not is MY favorite, and your use of it as the commencing stanza and title would have drawn me in no matter WHO wrote it. But my friend, this is the most beautiful poem, my favorite of everything of yours I've read - I wish I'd written it...
(I KNEW I was saving that last six for something special...)
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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Very many thanks, Dawn. This one certainly took a while to put together, and I'm delighted that you thought the result worthwhile. I appreciate your award of six stars and your high praise. I'm glad that I chose your favorite flower. I love them, too. They seem to spring up in the most unlikely places. There were some hollyhocks in the front steps, too, this year but they eventually outgrew their hold and were blown down by strong winds one day. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! This is like an epic poem, this crown of 7 sonnets. It starts with a cute little blue flower with the tenacity of a weed. Then it progresses by examining various memory-charged things through past life and the contemplation of death. The forget-me-nots will outlive us all!
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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Wow! This is like an epic poem, this crown of 7 sonnets. It starts with a cute little blue flower with the tenacity of a weed. Then it progresses by examining various memory-charged things through past life and the contemplation of death. The forget-me-nots will outlive us all!
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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Very many thanks for your kind review, Helen. Much appreciated! Tony
Comment from Caressa_08
You are a talented poet that can tell a story, like no other...And your seven Heroic Sonnets definitely deserve a six, which I have presently none to give. Though will too, bookcase this wonderful masterpiece you have created. And think you have a very good chance to come out a winner in this contest because your entry is too, for us who have lived long enough, and like me who is feeling my age...still something we can here relate to as our life here still, hopefully, has some time.
God Bless...Caressa_08
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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You are a talented poet that can tell a story, like no other...And your seven Heroic Sonnets definitely deserve a six, which I have presently none to give. Though will too, bookcase this wonderful masterpiece you have created. And think you have a very good chance to come out a winner in this contest because your entry is too, for us who have lived long enough, and like me who is feeling my age...still something we can here relate to as our life here still, hopefully, has some time.
God Bless...Caressa_08
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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Very many thanks for your kind review, Caressa. Much appreciated! Tony
Comment from damommy
Oh, how I wish I had a six. This is beautiful. I must confess that usually a piece this long will not keep my attention, but this one did from the very first word.
I especially like the little forget-me-not pushing forth through the crack. I'm always amazed how things grow in the most unlikely places.
"Perhaps in years to come, when I am frail, a kindly nurse will place my bed out here, so I can see the sea before I fail." Lovely line that truly touched me.
There are so many lines to comment on, but I won't go into everyone of them. Just know that is one of the most beautiful pieces I've read. You took us from a little flower striving to survive, to restoring a stone house to live out those last days. I like the mention of the craftsmanship of the beams and where they came from. I like it all!!! 8-)
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Oh, how I wish I had a six. This is beautiful. I must confess that usually a piece this long will not keep my attention, but this one did from the very first word.
I especially like the little forget-me-not pushing forth through the crack. I'm always amazed how things grow in the most unlikely places.
"Perhaps in years to come, when I am frail, a kindly nurse will place my bed out here, so I can see the sea before I fail." Lovely line that truly touched me.
There are so many lines to comment on, but I won't go into everyone of them. Just know that is one of the most beautiful pieces I've read. You took us from a little flower striving to survive, to restoring a stone house to live out those last days. I like the mention of the craftsmanship of the beams and where they came from. I like it all!!! 8-)
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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I always appreciate your reviews, Yvonne, and value your comments. Thanks, too, in this case for the suggestion of six-star worthiness! I very much appreciated your kind words. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Irish Rain
Oh my Mr. tony....this is exquisite. I don't see how it could be any better. Your choice of words is beautiful, the birds, the toy chest...the old man wondering who the chairs are for...from first sentence, all the way to first sentence again, a circle of life....wonderful. Blessings...
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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Oh my Mr. tony....this is exquisite. I don't see how it could be any better. Your choice of words is beautiful, the birds, the toy chest...the old man wondering who the chairs are for...from first sentence, all the way to first sentence again, a circle of life....wonderful. Blessings...
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 22-May-2017
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Very many thanks, Judy. This one certainly took a while to put together, and I'm delighted that you thought the result worthwhile. I appreciate your award of six stars. Best wishes, Tony
p.s. I read your marvellous poem, Gently, yesterday and was completely bowled over by it. Six stars and a review in my head at the moment, shortly to be committed to print!
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Thank YOU so much Mr. Tony!!! Your crown of sonnets is awesome!!
Comment from estory
This was a lot of work, so I salute you for that. I think the stanzas had really good focus, the themes were well laid out, of tenacity, determination, contrasting with the fragility, the fleeting nature of life and man made things. I think my favorites were 2 and 4. You had some great melodies and images in this poem, too many to single out, but "And carved a local home from stone and wood/ from Joiner's arts, and hand held tools/ Now seldom taught, or known or understood" was a favorite and 'This house, built of local quarried rock/ Has stood the test of time, still to survive; the ticking of the clock" nice alliterations make some great music there. A couple of awkward breaks starting lines with 'Of' and 'the' were the only nits, It seems to me you could smooth those out, the rest of it is so well written. estory
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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This was a lot of work, so I salute you for that. I think the stanzas had really good focus, the themes were well laid out, of tenacity, determination, contrasting with the fragility, the fleeting nature of life and man made things. I think my favorites were 2 and 4. You had some great melodies and images in this poem, too many to single out, but "And carved a local home from stone and wood/ from Joiner's arts, and hand held tools/ Now seldom taught, or known or understood" was a favorite and 'This house, built of local quarried rock/ Has stood the test of time, still to survive; the ticking of the clock" nice alliterations make some great music there. A couple of awkward breaks starting lines with 'Of' and 'the' were the only nits, It seems to me you could smooth those out, the rest of it is so well written. estory
Comment Written 20-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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I always appreciate your reviews, Estory, and value your comments. I often find it difficult to start lines strongly when writing in iambic pentameter, because of the weak stress on the first syllable. I agree that it is particularly noticeable in this poem and I shall have to see if I can make at least some of the opening words stronger. I find that this usually involves recasting the line so that it starts with a two syllable word. Best wishes, Tony