Teacakes
Nothing says lovin' like something from the oven.43 total reviews
Comment from Heidi M
What a great story, Andre! I really enjoyed reading it and am so glad you baked the teacakes for Uncle Lee.
I loved this: 'I had hoped my teacake would cure my uncle's cancer, but it did not. I gave him something else--a memory from childhood.'
A few minor spags:
both of my grandmothers baked -Delete apostrophe
I think 'it' and 'is' are transposed in this: 'It is a cookie, a cake, or a cupcake?'
'these are very good.' -Replace the question mark with a period
One suggestion: Consider rephrasing to this: 'memories of oatmeal raisin, peanut butter, or chocolate chip cookies every Christmas and Easter'
Thanks for sharing your story!
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
  |
What a great story, Andre! I really enjoyed reading it and am so glad you baked the teacakes for Uncle Lee.
I loved this: 'I had hoped my teacake would cure my uncle's cancer, but it did not. I gave him something else--a memory from childhood.'
A few minor spags:
both of my grandmothers baked -Delete apostrophe
I think 'it' and 'is' are transposed in this: 'It is a cookie, a cake, or a cupcake?'
'these are very good.' -Replace the question mark with a period
One suggestion: Consider rephrasing to this: 'memories of oatmeal raisin, peanut butter, or chocolate chip cookies every Christmas and Easter'
Thanks for sharing your story!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Heidi, for the most detailed and helpful review of "a great story" to date. I made the corrections. Thanks again for your loving support.
Comment from zanya
A wonderful story woven from the life tapestry of past generations and their mores - resonance of Proust and his famous madeleine !-
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
|
A wonderful story woven from the life tapestry of past generations and their mores - resonance of Proust and his famous madeleine !-
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Yes, Zanya, Proust's famous madeleine! Thank you for your review and the comparison. They cheer me.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
What an excellent piece. No problems noted and I truly loved the lesson you learned as you waited to fulfill your promise to make teacakes. I bake when I can and still enjoy it
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
|
What an excellent piece. No problems noted and I truly loved the lesson you learned as you waited to fulfill your promise to make teacakes. I bake when I can and still enjoy it
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Barb, for your review. I am glad I fulfilled my promise to bake teacakes.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
What a wonderful and warm story Sis Cat, I enjoyed this so much but it made me hungry lol you are an amazing writer as your writing, and therefore reading it, seems and feels effortless. Excellent work my friend kind regards Meia x
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
|
What a wonderful and warm story Sis Cat, I enjoyed this so much but it made me hungry lol you are an amazing writer as your writing, and therefore reading it, seems and feels effortless. Excellent work my friend kind regards Meia x
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Meia, for your review of my "effortless" writing which took a lot of work over weekend at Catalina.
-
oh the most difficult to write pieces often seem the most effortless :) It was meant as a compliment :) Kind regards Meia :)
Comment from BlueTiger
Fantastic piece. You grab the reader's attention from the first sentence and keep the momentum going until the last. You did a great job of weaving all of the events and background together to create a cohesive piece.
One edit: "Mmm, these are very good?
You forgot the quotation tags at the end of this sentence, and I don't think you meant to have the question mark.
I really enjoyed reading this; best of luck on the contest.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
 |
Fantastic piece. You grab the reader's attention from the first sentence and keep the momentum going until the last. You did a great job of weaving all of the events and background together to create a cohesive piece.
One edit: "Mmm, these are very good?
You forgot the quotation tags at the end of this sentence, and I don't think you meant to have the question mark.
I really enjoyed reading this; best of luck on the contest.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Blue Tiger, for your generous, six star review and quotation mark edit. I impressed myself by "weaving all of the events and background together to create a cohesive piece." Thanks again.
Comment from Mabaker
I'm not sure but I think what you call teacakes and from the photo they are a sweet biscuit. It doesn't matter really as long as Uncle Lee liked them, call them what you want. Great story of a time gone, never to return. Regards Mabaker.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
|
I'm not sure but I think what you call teacakes and from the photo they are a sweet biscuit. It doesn't matter really as long as Uncle Lee liked them, call them what you want. Great story of a time gone, never to return. Regards Mabaker.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Mabaker, for your review. In my mother's "Yeller Gal" screenplay, one character asked for butter to slather on the teacake as if it was a sweet biscuit.
Comment from Mary Wakeford
Amazing sentence with astounding impact.-> I understood now how the teacake fell from use. It reminds people of poverty
I love too how you related your mother's rolling pin falling from its perch. I think mama was sending you a message, and she got through :D
Perfection: I take solace in knowing that while priests may offer wafers during last rites, I offered my uncle teacakes. These cookies were among his earliest memories and will be among his last.
This paragraph is a great reminder that often we leave this earth never realizing the impact we've made on others. Uncle Oscar lives on in ways he probably thought a burden, but was truly grace.
It ties me to my ancestors and family stories stretching back one hundred and twenty-five years to when my Great Uncle Oscar stole teacakes cooling in the windowsill of a sharecropper's shack in East Texas and my Great Grandma Dolly whipped him bloody until he ran away from home. We haven't heard from him since, but the story of his teacake theft remains.
The following sentence is the only one I had trouble with...
Wonderful story Sis, blessings to you and your uncle.
The aproned woman gawked at me as if I had walked out of the nineteenth century. "We don't sale teacakes here." -> apron'd or The woman wearing a baking smock gawked at me...
-> sell vs. sale?
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
|
Amazing sentence with astounding impact.-> I understood now how the teacake fell from use. It reminds people of poverty
I love too how you related your mother's rolling pin falling from its perch. I think mama was sending you a message, and she got through :D
Perfection: I take solace in knowing that while priests may offer wafers during last rites, I offered my uncle teacakes. These cookies were among his earliest memories and will be among his last.
This paragraph is a great reminder that often we leave this earth never realizing the impact we've made on others. Uncle Oscar lives on in ways he probably thought a burden, but was truly grace.
It ties me to my ancestors and family stories stretching back one hundred and twenty-five years to when my Great Uncle Oscar stole teacakes cooling in the windowsill of a sharecropper's shack in East Texas and my Great Grandma Dolly whipped him bloody until he ran away from home. We haven't heard from him since, but the story of his teacake theft remains.
The following sentence is the only one I had trouble with...
Wonderful story Sis, blessings to you and your uncle.
The aproned woman gawked at me as if I had walked out of the nineteenth century. "We don't sale teacakes here." -> apron'd or The woman wearing a baking smock gawked at me...
-> sell vs. sale?
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Mary, for your generous, six star review and edits. Yes, my Mama's fallen rolling pin was a message I heard. Yes, "we leave this earth never realizing the impact we've made on others." Uncle Lee will live on in my story. Thank you for the blessings. He needs it.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is a great story in a poem. You told it in a very personal, loving way. There was great flow, order, & exactness to your lines.
My grandmother gave our family the teacake recipe we use. It is an old German recipe from a long time ago.
I am happy for you that you got to bake teacakes for your Uncle.
One question:
I smiled and my chest expanded. The ultimate cookie tester--Uncle Lee--lied ahead. Months passed and I did not bake and bring him teacakes.
Is the word [ lied ] used correctly? I have never heard/seen it used this way.
Good job & thanks for sharing a great memory. Jan
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
|
This is a great story in a poem. You told it in a very personal, loving way. There was great flow, order, & exactness to your lines.
My grandmother gave our family the teacake recipe we use. It is an old German recipe from a long time ago.
I am happy for you that you got to bake teacakes for your Uncle.
One question:
I smiled and my chest expanded. The ultimate cookie tester--Uncle Lee--lied ahead. Months passed and I did not bake and bring him teacakes.
Is the word [ lied ] used correctly? I have never heard/seen it used this way.
Good job & thanks for sharing a great memory. Jan
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Jan, for your generous review and edit of the word "lied." I am glad you found my story was told "in a very personal, loving way." I am also glad that your grandmother gave you her teacake recipe.
Comment from jlsavell
Dearest Andre,
I have returned today to find your post.
Ironic, I just baked tea cakes this morning for my family. They love them, and as your family's history of why tea cakes were concocted, mine was very similar. My family loves them!
Back to your story.You are not only a man who is love with loving kindness and now perhaps a tea cake connoisseur, you are an incredible storyteller. Each word perfectly placed like ties and cross ties on a track which kept the story running smooth till the ending. I adored this work.Thank you for sharing.
Your friend and fan always
Jimi
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
|
Dearest Andre,
I have returned today to find your post.
Ironic, I just baked tea cakes this morning for my family. They love them, and as your family's history of why tea cakes were concocted, mine was very similar. My family loves them!
Back to your story.You are not only a man who is love with loving kindness and now perhaps a tea cake connoisseur, you are an incredible storyteller. Each word perfectly placed like ties and cross ties on a track which kept the story running smooth till the ending. I adored this work.Thank you for sharing.
Your friend and fan always
Jimi
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Thank you, Jimi, for your generous, six star review of my incredible storytelling. What serendipity that you just baked teacakes this morning! I particularly loved this line, "Each word perfectly placed like ties and cross ties on a track which kept the story running smooth till the ending." Thank you once again for adoring this work.
Comment from Donya Quijote
Absolutely, home-made or home-baked is always best. Russian tea cookies are good cookies too. My mother used to make every Christmas, and this week the kids in one of classes are going to a nutless version of the cookie. They are exploring Russian in class. I think every country has a version of this cookie. In Mexico, it is called a wedding cake and has more moisture than the Russian variety. Both are good. My mother called the plain cookies from your story sugar cookies. I like them best when they are soft. Nice story...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
|
Absolutely, home-made or home-baked is always best. Russian tea cookies are good cookies too. My mother used to make every Christmas, and this week the kids in one of classes are going to a nutless version of the cookie. They are exploring Russian in class. I think every country has a version of this cookie. In Mexico, it is called a wedding cake and has more moisture than the Russian variety. Both are good. My mother called the plain cookies from your story sugar cookies. I like them best when they are soft. Nice story...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
-
Oh, thank you, Donya, for taking me on a teacake tour around the world. So many to choose from! Thank you for your home-made, home-baked review.