Jaime
A tale of a summer friendship57 total reviews
Comment from Eric1
Hi Rod, this without a doubt is one of the most wonderful and heartwarming poems I have read all week.
Your rhyming skills are outstanding, meter is excellent and a most beautiful rhythm that leads to a really smooth flow.
Most people on here would be able to connect with your brilliant story as I did myself, I truly wish you the best of luck in the competition my friend.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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Hi Rod, this without a doubt is one of the most wonderful and heartwarming poems I have read all week.
Your rhyming skills are outstanding, meter is excellent and a most beautiful rhythm that leads to a really smooth flow.
Most people on here would be able to connect with your brilliant story as I did myself, I truly wish you the best of luck in the competition my friend.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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Eric, I am extremely excited that you enjoyed "Jaime" so much. I also appreciate your praise for my skills. Thanks so much for sharing and for your best wishes. Rod
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You are very welcome Rod.
Comment from rjuselius
this is a compelling story with a witty execution and an interesting conclusion dear rodg! the teenage crush is well described and we all have these memorable affairs that we live by when we visit the past.
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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this is a compelling story with a witty execution and an interesting conclusion dear rodg! the teenage crush is well described and we all have these memorable affairs that we live by when we visit the past.
thank you for sharing!
blessings!
rebekka x
Comment Written 26-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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Rebekka, I am delighted to have shared "Jaime" with you and am very pleased you enjoyed the story so much. Rod
Comment from MelB
Wonderfully written poem with great rhyme. Tells a story of childhood friends. Too bad you never saw each other again. I wonder too if you would have stayed friends or if there would have been something more.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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Wonderfully written poem with great rhyme. Tells a story of childhood friends. Too bad you never saw each other again. I wonder too if you would have stayed friends or if there would have been something more.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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Mel, I am both flattered and humbled by your response to "Jaime." I, too, wish there could have been a "tomorrow" for these two young people. I am writing a sequel, so look for it soon. It will be about one of their adventures that summer. Rod
Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT
This was a real great look back at time we all cherish..To live that again we know is impossible but oh how our imagination can do that for us..
tk
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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This was a real great look back at time we all cherish..To live that again we know is impossible but oh how our imagination can do that for us..
tk
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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I truly appreciate your looking back with me and sharing "Jaime." Rod
Comment from seaglass
This is such a bitter-sweet memory poem and reminds me of a similar experience, an innocent summer crush. My mother called these relationships, "ships passing in the night". The rhyme and meter make this a pleasure to read.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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This is such a bitter-sweet memory poem and reminds me of a similar experience, an innocent summer crush. My mother called these relationships, "ships passing in the night". The rhyme and meter make this a pleasure to read.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2015
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I am thrilled you found a "bitter-sweet" story so memorable, seaglass and praise-worthy. "Jaime" was a lot of fun to write and there is a sequel in the works. Rod
Comment from kiwijenny
This is beautiful....that first pure true love
It's precious...I love the camaraderie
The art work is cool
Well penned on true friendship
God bless
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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This is beautiful....that first pure true love
It's precious...I love the camaraderie
The art work is cool
Well penned on true friendship
God bless
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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I am delighted you enjoyed "Jaime" so much. Thank you for sharing. Rod
Comment from GreenLeaf21
Really nice, easy flow of rhyme and meter--reads almost like prose, except that it sounds nicer! The dialogue was worked in quite naturally and while reading I got a sense of the geography from how Jaime talked ("real warm" etc.).
Very nice piece.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Really nice, easy flow of rhyme and meter--reads almost like prose, except that it sounds nicer! The dialogue was worked in quite naturally and while reading I got a sense of the geography from how Jaime talked ("real warm" etc.).
Very nice piece.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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I am delighted "Jaime" sounds nicer than prose. I truly appreciate your sharing it and your kind praise. Rod
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Rod G,
your story in poem right from the tart hd me hooked line an sinker
Happy memories of one summer now a memory.
Gert
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Hello Rod G,
your story in poem right from the tart hd me hooked line an sinker
Happy memories of one summer now a memory.
Gert
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Hi Gert. It's always a pleasure to hear from you. Thanks for sharing "Jaime." I am delighted you enjoyed it from start to finish. Rod
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You are welcome Rod
Gert
Comment from krys123
Rod;
-Such a perfect story within a poem I'm sure you should be voted very highly for it.
Very well written and easy to read the story about a puppy love was truly entertaining and very imaginative which I found also inventive and ingeniously creative throughout this resourceful writing.
-Each of these rhyming words were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm flow so very smoothly.
-The rhythmic meter of iambic tetrameter, followed by iambic hextameter was brilliantly composed and made the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-Very good use of enjambment throughout the writing, which is the running on of a thought and concepts in one stanza and line to the next without a syntactical break.
-A first true love's kids is very special for child in your story within a poem exemplifies the innocent friendship of two close friends.
-Good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always, Rod.
Alex
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Rod;
-Such a perfect story within a poem I'm sure you should be voted very highly for it.
Very well written and easy to read the story about a puppy love was truly entertaining and very imaginative which I found also inventive and ingeniously creative throughout this resourceful writing.
-Each of these rhyming words were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making the rhythm flow so very smoothly.
-The rhythmic meter of iambic tetrameter, followed by iambic hextameter was brilliantly composed and made the reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-Very good use of enjambment throughout the writing, which is the running on of a thought and concepts in one stanza and line to the next without a syntactical break.
-A first true love's kids is very special for child in your story within a poem exemplifies the innocent friendship of two close friends.
-Good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always, Rod.
Alex
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Alex, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your wonderful praise of "Jaime" and your six-star rating. I'm both flattered and humbled. Rod
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You are so sincerely welcome, Rod.
Alex
Comment from danpald
The beauty of innocence so lost today
The freshness of young love growing
The wonder of friendship sharing
How well this poem does give
How much those days of old would be
To have such innocence again
To not look only for the sex
But to learn how to be friends
Yes the question does come
What if later met again
Would there be a love that glows
Like the heart of true frieds
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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The beauty of innocence so lost today
The freshness of young love growing
The wonder of friendship sharing
How well this poem does give
How much those days of old would be
To have such innocence again
To not look only for the sex
But to learn how to be friends
Yes the question does come
What if later met again
Would there be a love that glows
Like the heart of true frieds
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Danpaid, I truly appreciate this poetic review. Thank you! Rod