Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "Sunkothai Moon, Part II"Murder Mystery
57 total reviews
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev,
Great to see another chapter in your epic story.
This one is full of occult information. You must have done loads of research.
By the way - I survived the op but now have to pump 18 drops into my eye every day! There's a 40 per cent chance of transplant rejection - hence the drops. It will be months before the eye works!
Ron xx
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Hi Bev,
Great to see another chapter in your epic story.
This one is full of occult information. You must have done loads of research.
By the way - I survived the op but now have to pump 18 drops into my eye every day! There's a 40 per cent chance of transplant rejection - hence the drops. It will be months before the eye works!
Ron xx
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Hello, Ron
It's so nice to hear from you. I'm holding you and your health situation in the highest light. Thank you for taking time to review my latest so generously. I read a lot about the supernatural and such. Luckily, I really enjoy it. I wish you a very happy and healthy new year, Ron. Happy Christmas, too. Hugs, Bev
Comment from gene roush
Another very nice scene.
Nice narrative and excellent dialogue."There were signs of his having aged in the intervening years"
feels awkward by the high standards of your writing. Perhaps something like "He bore signs of the years" would work
Jana filed the information away for discussion with Sheriff Oleson at a later time. "for a later time" seems unnecessary
It's so great to read a well-written piece, and to be able to be picky about the little things.
Thanks so much for sharing. I continue to learn from you.
Gene
"He studied the empty martini glass and signaled for Dani. "I'll take the bill and another one of those," he said. He studied" a lot of "he" here.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Another very nice scene.
Nice narrative and excellent dialogue."There were signs of his having aged in the intervening years"
feels awkward by the high standards of your writing. Perhaps something like "He bore signs of the years" would work
Jana filed the information away for discussion with Sheriff Oleson at a later time. "for a later time" seems unnecessary
It's so great to read a well-written piece, and to be able to be picky about the little things.
Thanks so much for sharing. I continue to learn from you.
Gene
"He studied the empty martini glass and signaled for Dani. "I'll take the bill and another one of those," he said. He studied" a lot of "he" here.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Gene, thanks so much for your suggestions. I do struggle with that consistent he/she business. It would be nice if I could just " :0) I appreciate both your time and interest. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from RGstar
Wish I had followed this one from the beginning,Bev.
It seems such a good story.
As usual, I will just comb the work, feel the flow, and make a decision should there be anything I can improve.
I am glad to say....not this time.
Your writing is both conscientious as it is elaborate when it needs to be.
It has a certain safety embroiled in its action that tell anybody...keep out, I am well in charge.
Your characters grow in stature, and even the small scene with grandfather takes a certain president.
I liked the influx of culture and the whole chemistry between the characters. None seemed distant.
A good professional write, Bev.
It seems effortless.
Best wishes,
RG
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Wish I had followed this one from the beginning,Bev.
It seems such a good story.
As usual, I will just comb the work, feel the flow, and make a decision should there be anything I can improve.
I am glad to say....not this time.
Your writing is both conscientious as it is elaborate when it needs to be.
It has a certain safety embroiled in its action that tell anybody...keep out, I am well in charge.
Your characters grow in stature, and even the small scene with grandfather takes a certain president.
I liked the influx of culture and the whole chemistry between the characters. None seemed distant.
A good professional write, Bev.
It seems effortless.
Best wishes,
RG
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Hi, RG. I so appreciate this thorough and very encuraging review. You really seem to have a good grasp of how I approach my writing. I'm honored that you chose to share your insights with me. Thanks much! :0) Bev
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My pleasure, Bev
Have a good evening,
RG
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You, as well, R. :0)
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Bev,
The chapter advances the suspense and mystery of the story. Jana's meeting with Dred confirmed the professional trust the two have for one another. He has succeeded in raising question in her mind about the possible involvement of the priest, Father DeShano. Dialogue between the characters is outstanding and convincing. The narrative is excellent also.
It is a good posting.
Curtis
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Bev,
The chapter advances the suspense and mystery of the story. Jana's meeting with Dred confirmed the professional trust the two have for one another. He has succeeded in raising question in her mind about the possible involvement of the priest, Father DeShano. Dialogue between the characters is outstanding and convincing. The narrative is excellent also.
It is a good posting.
Curtis
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Curtis, thank you so very much for this encouraging and very generous review. I so appreciate your support! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
Ordinary life goes on in spite of a murder investigation. And Dred has some interesting addictions, women amongst them. I'm interested in seeing where you're going with this relationship. I like this character. Well done, Bev.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Ordinary life goes on in spite of a murder investigation. And Dred has some interesting addictions, women amongst them. I'm interested in seeing where you're going with this relationship. I like this character. Well done, Bev.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Hi, Adrienne. Thank you so much for your grand review. I like all the 'hunks' in my story. Appreciate your support and insights, my friend. Happy Holidays to you and yours... Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
You never fail to amaze me with your descriptive writing,
Bev. I love the Native American culture you weave into your story, which I find particularly interesting.
I enjoyed hearing about Dred's history... and sadly,
he's started drinking again. Now Jana's distracted
from the case, having heard of her Grandmother being
hospitalized.
All in all, most impressive - deserving of my last six!!
We've just had a family-get-together, and now Colin and I will be flying out to Portugal this Friday until the 27th, so I want to say..
Have a wonderful Christmas and stay well and happy, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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You never fail to amaze me with your descriptive writing,
Bev. I love the Native American culture you weave into your story, which I find particularly interesting.
I enjoyed hearing about Dred's history... and sadly,
he's started drinking again. Now Jana's distracted
from the case, having heard of her Grandmother being
hospitalized.
All in all, most impressive - deserving of my last six!!
We've just had a family-get-together, and now Colin and I will be flying out to Portugal this Friday until the 27th, so I want to say..
Have a wonderful Christmas and stay well and happy, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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I'm absolutely glowing from this grand review, Margaret. Thank you so very much. And I wish you and yours a very wonderful holiday season. Safe travels... Portugal sounds fantastic right about now. :0) Bev
Comment from boxergirl
Good job on the continuation of your story
line. The flashback at the beginning helps
us understand more about Jana's character and
background. The descriptions and dialogue between
Jana and Dred are realistic and kept me engaged
from start to finish. Dred's having a set back with his
alcohol and women addiction. BG 8-)
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Good job on the continuation of your story
line. The flashback at the beginning helps
us understand more about Jana's character and
background. The descriptions and dialogue between
Jana and Dred are realistic and kept me engaged
from start to finish. Dred's having a set back with his
alcohol and women addiction. BG 8-)
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Hiya, Boxergirl. I really appreciate your support for and encouragement of my chapter. It means a lot that you care enough to continue to follow along. Thanks! :0) Bev
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Welcome, Bev. 8-)
Comment from elchupakabra
I'm not very familiar with this novel or the series, but I have reviewed a couple chapters here and there so I've got the gist of the story. I think the overall story is really cool and creative and I like the incorporation of the Sioux terms, it gives the piece more depth. Overall I thought the narrative was smooth and the dialogue was believable. Great work overall on this write, thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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I'm not very familiar with this novel or the series, but I have reviewed a couple chapters here and there so I've got the gist of the story. I think the overall story is really cool and creative and I like the incorporation of the Sioux terms, it gives the piece more depth. Overall I thought the narrative was smooth and the dialogue was believable. Great work overall on this write, thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Thank you so much, E. I so appreciate your taking time to read this chapter and for your very supportive insights. Means a lot to me as does your generosity. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from robina1978
I think Jana is thinking at first about the past. Then she wants to help solving the murders. She can't accept her uncle as a suspect.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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I think Jana is thinking at first about the past. Then she wants to help solving the murders. She can't accept her uncle as a suspect.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Hi, Ine. Thank you so much for reading this latest chapter. I always enjoy hearing from you! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
I very much enjoyed this. Your descriptive passages are just perfect in that they provide just enough information to keep the reader in synch without being overly detailed. The dialog flows well and the reader is clear as to what a character is thinking or feeling as each line is uttered. Nicely done and I thank you for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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I very much enjoyed this. Your descriptive passages are just perfect in that they provide just enough information to keep the reader in synch without being overly detailed. The dialog flows well and the reader is clear as to what a character is thinking or feeling as each line is uttered. Nicely done and I thank you for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2013
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Thank you so much for this wonderfully gracious and generous review, Mystic Angel. I appreciate you taking time to read.
Warmest regards, Bev
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You are most welcome as it is always a pleasure to read something so well done.
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Aw, that's very sweet of you! :0) Bev