Louise, part 1
Boy tempted by lust and faith37 total reviews
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi Gretchen,
This is so well-written; I was hanging on to every word.Your visuals of the waitress was perfect. You captured a teen boy's longing. Well done. Can't wait to read the continuation of your story.
Bye
Rosalyne
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Hi Gretchen,
This is so well-written; I was hanging on to every word.Your visuals of the waitress was perfect. You captured a teen boy's longing. Well done. Can't wait to read the continuation of your story.
Bye
Rosalyne
Comment Written 08-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the stellar rating. I am so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from MelReyn
Whoa. NAUGHTY! I have no idea where this is going. Will she take him home and do what's expected? OR will she lead him into other trouble? I think she's smart enough to know that she's not going to get money out of him. I can't help but think that she's up to something other than sex. But who knows? Maybe she was flattered that a young'un would want her and that's all there is to it. Can't wait to see. ;)
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Whoa. NAUGHTY! I have no idea where this is going. Will she take him home and do what's expected? OR will she lead him into other trouble? I think she's smart enough to know that she's not going to get money out of him. I can't help but think that she's up to something other than sex. But who knows? Maybe she was flattered that a young'un would want her and that's all there is to it. Can't wait to see. ;)
Comment Written 08-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the funny and insightful review. Pleas do me the honor of reading the second part. Thanks again for the great review. Gretchen
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Just logging on... and the second part is up? SWEET! (Puff of dust) I'm going now!
Comment from Sefiros
Temptation, hormones and seduction. Always good ingredients for the story. Hell, I wish I knew any waitresses like that when I was eighteen. Nice buildup. I'm betting Louise will use him and discard him like a dirty tissue. Looking forward to the next piece.
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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Temptation, hormones and seduction. Always good ingredients for the story. Hell, I wish I knew any waitresses like that when I was eighteen. Nice buildup. I'm betting Louise will use him and discard him like a dirty tissue. Looking forward to the next piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013
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Read on, my friend. Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from MoonWillow
Your story seems familiar to me, GW. Have you posted it before? I didn't note any spag, and I love the way you write. Reminds me of Mickey Spillane and the detective stories of that era. Can't wait to read the ending :) Very nicely done, my friend. I enjoyed it. Short sentences, easy to read with drama throughout. You're building up nicely toward the finish. I have a feeling she's not going to be so nice to him. The story I remember reading before had something to do with a snake at the end. Love it, GW. Will watch for the ending. :)willow
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2013
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Your story seems familiar to me, GW. Have you posted it before? I didn't note any spag, and I love the way you write. Reminds me of Mickey Spillane and the detective stories of that era. Can't wait to read the ending :) Very nicely done, my friend. I enjoyed it. Short sentences, easy to read with drama throughout. You're building up nicely toward the finish. I have a feeling she's not going to be so nice to him. The story I remember reading before had something to do with a snake at the end. Love it, GW. Will watch for the ending. :)willow
Comment Written 08-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the wonderful review and the fantastic rating. Never posted this one before. No snake at the end, but sometimes there are things worse than snakes. Thanks again. Gretchen
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OH WOW! Now I really can't wait, and you're very welcome. The only thing worse than a snake would the devil himself. I'm probably going the wrong direction--huh! Don't tell me!! :)
Comment from barkingdog
This sounds like a young boy's dream come true, but with its foreboding undertone I sense that Louise is more than a waitress with blood red lips.
Chilling. I'd like to read more.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2013
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This sounds like a young boy's dream come true, but with its foreboding undertone I sense that Louise is more than a waitress with blood red lips.
Chilling. I'd like to read more.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2013
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I guess it is most young guys' dreams. But just like in real life, you have to wake up sometime. Thanks for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
I can tell that this is getting quite steamy and is going to get more so as time goes on. Even though this is not really my kind of thing it does make an interesting read. Keep on writing.
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reply by the author on 08-Aug-2013
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I can tell that this is getting quite steamy and is going to get more so as time goes on. Even though this is not really my kind of thing it does make an interesting read. Keep on writing.
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Comment Written 08-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2013
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Steamy isn't my thing either. I kind of like to lead people to a point and then let them use their imaginations to whatever point they are comfortable with. Nothing too far, I promise. thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from mohiro
A brilliant prose written in audacious style. Your pacing is good. You got me hooked from the very start.Wild adrenaline pumped in my veins. You took very high up and left me helpless on a cliffhanger of a beautiful ending. Very brilliant!
Best wishes always.
Mohiro
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2013
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A brilliant prose written in audacious style. Your pacing is good. You got me hooked from the very start.Wild adrenaline pumped in my veins. You took very high up and left me helpless on a cliffhanger of a beautiful ending. Very brilliant!
Best wishes always.
Mohiro
Comment Written 08-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2013
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Thank you for he great review and the wonderful rating. I hope part two meets your high standards. Thank you again. Gretchen