Comment from robina1978

Excellent

The picture and this chapter are awesome. It has so much thrill in it, incredible. The housekeeper left and this female waited for Father Brian. By the time he arrived all she could do was scream in terror. No mistakes found.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012

Thanks so much, Ine. I really appreciate your continuing to follow along with my novel. Your support and generosity are most heartening. Warmest regards, Bev

reply by robina1978 on 15-Oct-2012

so welcome, Bev

reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012

:0) XX

Comment from Dawn Munro

Exceptional

Wow - thanks a LOT Bev! I'm home by myself in the middle of the darkest, windiest night right now! (LOL)
Spine-tingling suspense, and you couldn't have paced it better (not to mention the timing of posting - two weeks before Halloween- clever lady!)
I loved the bit about her not noticing the dog's terror!
This is an excellent chapter!

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012

Hi, Dawn. Aw, thanks so much for this wonderfully supportive and generous review. I think my mystery has crossed over to the supernatural ... not necessarily my original intention but it seems to be a fan favorite. I experienced something similar to Caroline in a house we used to live in. I was smart enough to notice the dog! LOL. Sure appreciate ya... xxxx Hugs, Bev

Comment from Roxanna Andrews

Excellent

Great as always. Scary stuff. I can't want to find out what the murders and this entity have in common. Always enjoy your chapters and can't wait for the next one. Great job Bev.

 Comment Written 15-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 15-Oct-2012

Hi, Roxanna. I sure appreciate your wonderful review. Thank you for staying with the novel. Sure means a lot! Hugs, Bev

Comment from judiverse

Exceptional

Lots of excitement in this. I like the way you slow the pace somewhat with your description of Caroline, and the trouble with the door and the key. The way she yells at the poltergeist is great, too. She thinks she's really got it taken care of. You include the dog's terrified barking and the drop in temperature in the kitchen--sure signs of a ghostly presence. Father Brian comes in at just the right time, but has something already happened to Caroline? Very suspenseful, Six stars worth. judi

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012

Thank you so much, judi, for your awesome insights into the chapter workings. I appreciate your careful eye for details and good fundamentals of writing fiction. I always get such good reviews from you. And, of course, I'm thrilled with the six stars. You honor me, my friend. Hugs, Bev

reply by judiverse on 14-Oct-2012

You're so welcome, Bev. I'm loving the suspense you create. judi

Comment from AprilShower

Excellent

This is unfair to end a chapter so soon, Bev. We now have to wait before we will know what happened. This chapter is well written, but I wanted to read more.

Hugs,
April

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012

Hi, April. I promise to get the seconed part out more quickly. It was a long chapter that needed to be broken up, though I hate to do that.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so generously, my friend.

Hugs, Bev

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

You painted a very vivid picture for me. That voice would have made me turn around and go home. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012

Thank you so much, Shirley. I really appreciate your continued interest and support. Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

No six???

Dammit.

.... She shrank deeper into her coat and dropped her head like a bull readying itself to charge. Wow - what a fantastic opening paragraph. Your writing just keeps on getting stronger and stronger, Bev


Her salary as housekeeper for the pastor of St. Matilde's offset her heating bills through the winter months. Along with her husband's military pension, and social security, she managed to cover her bills and set a little aside. - 'bills' pops up twice in close proximity. Just a suggestion: Along with her husband's military pension and social security, she managed to balance her check book and still set a little aside. Or summat. :o)

"Try the door again," a disembodied voice invited. - I'd be GONE!

What???? You can't leave us hanging like that! (Although I did, didn't I?) LOL!

BRILLIANT post. Can't wait to see what Father Brian discovers.

Thanks for giving me the chills, Bev.

Love ya!


Av

x

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012

Hiya, Av. Thank you, my dear friend and awesome writer for this superbly generous review. I think your suggestion is perfect! I shall employ it immediately LOL. So glad you enjoyed the read. That means more than a hundred sixes, Av. And thanks for helping me to get a little better each time. Love you, Bev

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hi Bev! I am loving this story. I notice you are still using "unto" so I will leave it be. It sounds kind of churchie so I guess it works. My brain want to say onto or into. You got the demons working at the right time of year, Halloween. I'm a big chicken when it comes to scary stuff. Kind of funny that I am working on a supernatural story of my own LOL.

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012

Bad Bev! I need to get out of my 'unto' rut. Making the correction!! Thanks so much for taking time to read. I appreciate your generosity and support so much, Joy. Hugs, Bev

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

You have left us with a great hook. I enjoyed reading this post. Your story is progressing and the characters remain interesting. Good job

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012

Thank you much, barbara. I appreciate the support. Warm regards, Bev

Comment from Vinnyfan

Excellent

Excellent story. You've got me hooked! You describe your scenes very well.

I have a couple SPAG suggestions. Feel free to use them or disregard as you wish.

two knees that felt liked they'd >> two knees that felt like they'd

Along with her husband's military pension and social security she >> Along with her husband's military pension, and social security, she

She entered the kitchen and dropped her bag on >> She entered the kitchen, and dropped her bag on

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 14-Oct-2012

Hi Vinnyfan. Thank you so much for stopping by to read my chapter. I really appreciate your insights and excellent suggestions. Will make the changes! Hope to 'see' you again some time. Warmest regards, Bev