Comment from OldVet

Excellent

So dreams DO come true!

Cassie watched her mother in the entry hall mirror as she applied pink lip gloss.
In this sentence "she" is vague as either Cassie or Mom could be applying the lip gloss.
Suggest: Cassie watched as her mother stood in the entry hall mirror and applied pink lip gloss.

Good entry and good luck!

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010

Thank you for the excellent suggestion. My biggest problem in writing this story was keeping the word count below 150. I cut and cut everywhere, and it makes it so difficult to write like I'd really like to write. I will try to make that more clear because you are absolutely correct. Thanks so much for the good review.

reply by OldVet on 09-Mar-2010

Yes, the word limits can really put a damper on you when on a roll!

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

Writer,

What a lovely response...waking to from a dream to discover daddy and mommy together...happy to see you...hoping life will be normal again.

Carol

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010

Thanks so much Carol. This is a very encouraging review. I appreciate it.

Comment from Cooper Watt

Excellent

Oh my word, so cute!! Awwww.... What a super ending. When I read "meeting strangers" I though, Oh-oh, mom's a whore, but then it ends with daddy finally home. Turned things right around and made it happy again. Good job! and Good luck!

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010

Thanks for the many nice things you said. I greatly appreciate this review.

Comment from JeffreyStone

Exceptional

What a great story you crated for this contest. You dredged up real people and real emotions, and you did it in so few words. Great job. JeffreyStone

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010

Thank you, JeffreyStone. You have certainly given my morning a beautiful sunrise with all those kind words and bright stars! I'm deeply grateful.

Comment from fastdigits

Excellent

A well constructed story of
a topical nature in todays
world with the surprise ending
that ended in Hollywood fashion.
Well done and good luck

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010

Thank you so much for the warm words and good wishes. I appreciate this very much.

Comment from closetpoetjester

Excellent

A nicely told short story by the author. Good construction and excellent excecution .. you didnt have a lot to work with and had to introduce, tell and end your story all fairly abrubtly. You did this perfectly! Good narrative throughout and a nice comfortable read... keep up the great work ... cheers cpj

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010

I thank you for this understanding review. You are so right... there are too few words allowed to do much with, so it is extremely difficult to fit in the ten required words and have a complete story. Thanks for the encouragement.

Comment from Dave-Aranda-Richards

Excellent

What a wonderful story you came up with using the words alloted. Congratulations on the creativeness you exhibited in this surprise ending work!

Dave

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010

Thanks Dave. I really appreciate your kind words and good review.