Four Years Old
The End of Innocence124 total reviews
Comment from Annmuma
This is so difficult to read, but so important that it be read and read and read. How do we allow this evil to go on? I don't know. Your poem did indeed deserve the first place win it received. Congrats. ann
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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This is so difficult to read, but so important that it be read and read and read. How do we allow this evil to go on? I don't know. Your poem did indeed deserve the first place win it received. Congrats. ann
Comment Written 26-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2010
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Thank you Ann,
I am honored by your comments, but you ask a question I am not qualified to answer. Perhaps one day, God will reveal the truth.
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from nora arjuna
hi curt, wow, this is really disturbing... i keep thinking four year old.... how is it possible? my mind just can't accept this. the doer is worse than an animal. your poem was written to great effect. i guess you'll be the winner.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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hi curt, wow, this is really disturbing... i keep thinking four year old.... how is it possible? my mind just can't accept this. the doer is worse than an animal. your poem was written to great effect. i guess you'll be the winner.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Unfortunately my friend, it happens at even younger ages than that. I wish I had the answers as to why, then perhaps we could find a way to make it stop.
Your coments are most appreciated,
Curt
Comment from amada
Congratulations in being in the selected group for the poem of the month. Your work in here is very personal and very dramatic. I could read the pain still distilling from your soul. i wish you the best dear writer.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Congratulations in being in the selected group for the poem of the month. Your work in here is very personal and very dramatic. I could read the pain still distilling from your soul. i wish you the best dear writer.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2010
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Thank you my friend,
I appreciuate your thoughts very much.
Curt
Comment from Teri7
This is a very sad poem you have penned. I had one suggestion - where you wrote "I'm four years old without a hope
do you think if you said any hope?
Just a suggestion. This is a great contest entry.Hugs,Teri
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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This is a very sad poem you have penned. I had one suggestion - where you wrote "I'm four years old without a hope
do you think if you said any hope?
Just a suggestion. This is a great contest entry.Hugs,Teri
Comment Written 23-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Thank you for the comments and suggestions Teri. I would change that, but it would throw off the tetrameter.
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from Jarlsbane
Curt-
Congratulations! Obviously this is the next POM winner as no one has a prayer of catching you! I have waited to review this poem because I didn't want my review to in anyway take away from your chances of winning- no chance of that now.
I really am going to go against the grain on this one as you have received many glowing reviews and excellent comments. And before I go on, let me say that if this is autobiographical then my heart goes ot to you.
My single but very major issue I have with this poem is that you have written it in a style that is lyrical, sing-song, upbeat, --the meter and cadence do not fit the subject matter IMHO. You have such dark and grim imagery, specific details that would make a hardened police office cringe but have it presented with a style more suited to comedy. I'm sorry but the rhyming and meter just kill the power of this poem for me. They are at odds with each other to an extreme. That is my only nit but it is a huge one for me. I hope you understand my concern and reason for the four star rating. Take care- Jarls
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Curt-
Congratulations! Obviously this is the next POM winner as no one has a prayer of catching you! I have waited to review this poem because I didn't want my review to in anyway take away from your chances of winning- no chance of that now.
I really am going to go against the grain on this one as you have received many glowing reviews and excellent comments. And before I go on, let me say that if this is autobiographical then my heart goes ot to you.
My single but very major issue I have with this poem is that you have written it in a style that is lyrical, sing-song, upbeat, --the meter and cadence do not fit the subject matter IMHO. You have such dark and grim imagery, specific details that would make a hardened police office cringe but have it presented with a style more suited to comedy. I'm sorry but the rhyming and meter just kill the power of this poem for me. They are at odds with each other to an extreme. That is my only nit but it is a huge one for me. I hope you understand my concern and reason for the four star rating. Take care- Jarls
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Not a problem here my friend, we all have our opinions and are entitled to express them in open forum. I do appreciate your concern for the vote, which is in itself touching.
I thank you for your honesty,take care my friend.
Curt
Comment from Twomoon
Curt, this is so beautifully written for something so sad, that you can barely read it.. so discriptive and full of anger and horrendous behavior..you have said it all, one does not really know what goes on behind the walls, if they could talk they would not, just because of what you said it would be to hard to express...good luck. much love twomoon
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010
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Curt, this is so beautifully written for something so sad, that you can barely read it.. so discriptive and full of anger and horrendous behavior..you have said it all, one does not really know what goes on behind the walls, if they could talk they would not, just because of what you said it would be to hard to express...good luck. much love twomoon
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010
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Twomoon,
I am deeply honored by your rating, but more so for your comments. This was for all the four year olds that have suffered and do not have the voice to speak it. I will be their voice, so that someday, I pray, it will end.
Thank you once again my friend,
Curt
Comment from madonna08
The is such an emotional pice of work so well writen with a strong powerful cry. This really touched my heart as I am sad to say I have been through this. Well done for being so bold to write a piece of work so strong and emotional.
smiles from Maddy
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010
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The is such an emotional pice of work so well writen with a strong powerful cry. This really touched my heart as I am sad to say I have been through this. Well done for being so bold to write a piece of work so strong and emotional.
smiles from Maddy
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2010
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Thank you Maddy,
And let me tell you how sorry I am that you could identify with this piece from personal experience. Too many have told me the same thing, and it breaks my heart. It wasn't easy to write, this piece took a lot out of me, but it has helped to take some of the stain from my soul.
Take care my friend,
Curt
Comment from bnd-writenow
Wow - I'm going thru the voting booth and found this.
Yup, I actually read them all before I vote (although I may not review all).
I'm stunned. So well-crafted...so real...so sick...
The sing-song meter gives the feel of childlike innocence.
Honestly, I'm too stunned to give this a decent review.
Social injustice of the worst kind exposed in a poem...
Bravo...
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2010
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Wow - I'm going thru the voting booth and found this.
Yup, I actually read them all before I vote (although I may not review all).
I'm stunned. So well-crafted...so real...so sick...
The sing-song meter gives the feel of childlike innocence.
Honestly, I'm too stunned to give this a decent review.
Social injustice of the worst kind exposed in a poem...
Bravo...
Comment Written 21-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2010
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Thank you my friend,
I am honored by your rating, and there is no need to explain your commments, I understand. It was not an easy write to put down, I imagiine just as many tears fell as did letters on the page, and then some. But it needed to be released. I am truly humbled you found it worthy.
Curt
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You got my vote as well - and it looks like you have a great lead!
Comment from cephira
I can feel my insides being torn out as I read each line. There must be a hell and it was built for those demons that prey upon the innocent. Strange how the people we expect to protect us most in this world are the ones who ultimately let us down. I wonder sometimes how things would be if they would have been stronger and stood up for us - the voiceless, powerless, just mere babies. But now we are no longer powerless and thanks for putting a voice to the pain. I don't know how you managed to get these words out - beyond brave.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2010
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I can feel my insides being torn out as I read each line. There must be a hell and it was built for those demons that prey upon the innocent. Strange how the people we expect to protect us most in this world are the ones who ultimately let us down. I wonder sometimes how things would be if they would have been stronger and stood up for us - the voiceless, powerless, just mere babies. But now we are no longer powerless and thanks for putting a voice to the pain. I don't know how you managed to get these words out - beyond brave.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2010
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Thank you Cephira,
Your words touch me deeply and I am sincerely grateful for your thoughts. Although I wish for no one to be turned away from God's love, those who defile the innocent will have their judgement when the time comes.
It was not an easy write by any stretch of the imagination, as are the ones to follow, but as I have said before, this needs to come out.
Blessings to you,
Curt
Comment from mdeleon
i will rate this poem although i can barely read it due to its sad content. if one is to read it through passionless eyes then i would say it reads well, has good rhyme and rhythm. however it is very distressing (which means you did a good job of writing it) so i did struggle to really linger too long. i can only hope we see some happy poetry once the dirt is purged!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2010
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i will rate this poem although i can barely read it due to its sad content. if one is to read it through passionless eyes then i would say it reads well, has good rhyme and rhythm. however it is very distressing (which means you did a good job of writing it) so i did struggle to really linger too long. i can only hope we see some happy poetry once the dirt is purged!
Comment Written 21-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2010
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Thank you for your thoughts, if it bothered you enough to give a four, then I must have hit a nerve somewhere inside of you.
Curt
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i suspect you hit a nerve in most of your readers! ;-) i see your doing really well in the voting booth... well done!
