Breaking Out
Syllables 1-5-5-9 for each stanza46 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
Debi, This is a very cute and very well written poem. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery from the artwork you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Debi, This is a very cute and very well written poem. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery from the artwork you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Hi Teri, I thank you so much and how sweet of you to give me a six for this but I have to be honest with you. Because I just realized that not everyone knew that song and so they wouldn't see the humor in it. The reason I did this prompt in the first place was because I grew up with that song. So I had that on my mind while writing so it would end with the song. Otherwise this is so not me at all. LOL... I think you already knew that. Hehe.
Thanks for the kind review and comments, my dear friend.
Bless you!! Love, Debi
Comment from GWHARGIS
Well, this was certainly unexpected. You had me a little frightened both of your plans and then what you would be on the receiving end of. Mental hospitals will always creep me out. Your poem had me until I listened to the song. Gretchen
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Well, this was certainly unexpected. You had me a little frightened both of your plans and then what you would be on the receiving end of. Mental hospitals will always creep me out. Your poem had me until I listened to the song. Gretchen
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Oh Gretchen, thank you. But I just realized that not everyone knew that song and so they wouldn't see the humor in it. The reason I did this prompt in the first place was because I grew up with that song. So I had that on my mind while writing so it would end with the song. Otherwise this is so not me at all. LOL..... but I think you already knew that. Hehe.
Thanks for the kind review and comments, my dear friend. Love, Debi
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
lol oh I loved this 4 line poetry suite! And that last line along with the video just made my whole day! So clever and unique! Great job on this week's prompt. Thanks for taking part
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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lol oh I loved this 4 line poetry suite! And that last line along with the video just made my whole day! So clever and unique! Great job on this week's prompt. Thanks for taking part
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Hi Marilyn, thank you so much. I realized that not everyone knew that song and so they wouldn't see the humor in it. The reason I did this prompt in the first place was because I saw the prompt and thought of the song, that I grew up with. So I had that on my mind while writing so it would end with the song.
It was a lot of fun. Thanks for hosting it.
Thanks for the kind review and comments, my dear friend.
Love, Debi
Comment from Dr. Nad
Hey sis, I am back, or at least kind of. My membership ran out and I just renewed a few minutes ago. I like your poem very much. I think it's good to stretch our capabilities and I don't recall you ever writing a poem about a mental institution before lol. I think if the truth be known, all of us have at one time or another, felt like maybe we were next up. Anyway great job, I am praying for your health.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Hey sis, I am back, or at least kind of. My membership ran out and I just renewed a few minutes ago. I like your poem very much. I think it's good to stretch our capabilities and I don't recall you ever writing a poem about a mental institution before lol. I think if the truth be known, all of us have at one time or another, felt like maybe we were next up. Anyway great job, I am praying for your health.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Oh Dan, thank you. But I just realized that not everyone knew that song and so they wouldn't see the humor in it. The reason I did this prompt in the first place was because I grew up with that song. So I had that on my mind while writing so it would end with the song. Otherwise this is so not me at all. LOL, like you didn't know that, right? But thanks for the six stars for this one for me. I appreciate it so much.
Thanks for the kind review and comments, my dear brother and friend. Love, Debi
Comment from Harry Craft
Wow! This poem was so cool Debi. I don't know the format, but I enjoyed reading it and the You Tube song I remember as a kid. The photo goes great with the poem, and it has a great rhyming scheme too! Keep up the excellent work!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Wow! This poem was so cool Debi. I don't know the format, but I enjoyed reading it and the You Tube song I remember as a kid. The photo goes great with the poem, and it has a great rhyming scheme too! Keep up the excellent work!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Hi Harry, thank you so much. I just realized that not everyone knew that song and so they wouldn't see the humor in it. The reason I did this prompt in the first place was because I grew up with that song. So I had that on my mind while writing so it would end with the song. Otherwise this is so not me at all. I guess you already knew that. LOL..
Thanks for the kind review and comments, my dear friend.
Love, Debi
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You are so welcome Debi!
Comment from Sally Law
Oh my word! I had to look twice to see if it was YOU! Please tell me why I knew the words to this song? Now, it will haunt me all day, Debi Pick Marquette! This is, however, a super cool form, perfectly metered and rhymed, and very chilling. Mission accomplished for the Abandoned Asylum contest. A winner in my eyes!
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best for the club entry.
Love,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Oh my word! I had to look twice to see if it was YOU! Please tell me why I knew the words to this song? Now, it will haunt me all day, Debi Pick Marquette! This is, however, a super cool form, perfectly metered and rhymed, and very chilling. Mission accomplished for the Abandoned Asylum contest. A winner in my eyes!
Sending you my best today as always, and my very best for the club entry.
Love,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Oh Sally. thank you so much. I just realized that not everyone knew that song and so they wouldn't see the humor in it. The reason I did this prompt in the first place was because I grew up with that song. So I had that on my mind while writing so it would end with the song. Otherwise this is so not me at all. I guess you already knew that. LOL..
Thanks for the kind review and comments, my dear friend. Love, Debi
Comment from jmdg1954
Whoa...
it wasn't until I got to the authors notes... then I was relieved it was for a prompt.
It's uncharacteristic of you to freely write this way.
Phew!
Great post for the club prompt. You got me!
Love ya,
John
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Whoa...
it wasn't until I got to the authors notes... then I was relieved it was for a prompt.
It's uncharacteristic of you to freely write this way.
Phew!
Great post for the club prompt. You got me!
Love ya,
John
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Hi John, I know, right? I am happy I got to shock you. Haha.
I realize tho that not everyone knew that song and so they wouldn't see the humor in it. The reason I did this prompt in the first place was because I grew up with that song. So as soon as I heard the prompt, the song popped in my head. So I had that on my mind while writing so it would end with the song. Otherwise this is so not me at all. I guess you already said that. LOL..
Thanks for the kind review and comments, my dear bro! Love, Debi
Love, Debi
Comment from nomi338
This reads like any random moment of my daily routine. My bedroom sits at the end of the hallway. There are no signs saying "Keep Away!" but they know to advance in that direction requires courage. A timid knock is usually answered with a roaring, "WHAT???" They most often run away in fear and utter terror. That is until I emerge with a bright and sunny smile on my face, on my way to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Not a poem
I know, but in the spirit nonetheless.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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This reads like any random moment of my daily routine. My bedroom sits at the end of the hallway. There are no signs saying "Keep Away!" but they know to advance in that direction requires courage. A timid knock is usually answered with a roaring, "WHAT???" They most often run away in fear and utter terror. That is until I emerge with a bright and sunny smile on my face, on my way to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee. Not a poem
I know, but in the spirit nonetheless.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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This is so funny you would tell me this. Keep what you said on your mind when you see what I send you for your birthday tomorrow morning. You are going to think it is as funny as I do. I can't wait to hear from you for your poem and the relativity of this review and what I send you.
Thanks big bro.... until tomorrow. Tata! Love, Debi
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Good grief, Debi! Where did this come from? I know I've told you before: You do horror well!!
This is a really good poem, and fits the challenge of the club perfectly. And the 1-5-5-9 form seems to be a good match for you.
It's dark, until that last line where you add a bit of levity for those of us who are familiar with the song.
This is one of my faves from you:-) Good job, girl!
xoxo
Sis
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Good grief, Debi! Where did this come from? I know I've told you before: You do horror well!!
This is a really good poem, and fits the challenge of the club perfectly. And the 1-5-5-9 form seems to be a good match for you.
It's dark, until that last line where you add a bit of levity for those of us who are familiar with the song.
This is one of my faves from you:-) Good job, girl!
xoxo
Sis
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Hey you, thank you so very much for the wonderful compliments and your generous six stars, Sis. I love that this piece is one that stands
out to you. Truthfully, I was just trying to be funny with it. As soon as I saw the prompt I thought of that song and nothing else would do. LOL.. thanks again, Sweetie!
Love and Hugs! Debi
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I have often wondered if there isn't a better solution that asylums. I know they've greatly improved over the years, but I have a way they still a ways to go.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Thank you for sharing this club entry with us. I have often wondered if there isn't a better solution that asylums. I know they've greatly improved over the years, but I have a way they still a ways to go.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2025
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Hi Barb, I realize that not everyone knew that song and so they wouldn't see the humor in it. The reason I did this prompt in the first place was because I grew up with that song. So as soon as I read the prompt, the song popped in my head. So I had that on my mind while writing so it would end with the song. Otherwise this is so not me at all. I guess you already knew that. LOL..
Thanks for the kind review and comments, my dear friend! Love, Debi
