The Broken Pact
Rhyming Poem contest41 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a skilful written write from a talented pen and well deserving of a six. An amazing story filled with the horror of long ago when villages were pillaged when the men were away, homes were burned and women and children either kidnapped or killed. A well told story for the contest, a joy to read, sorry I don't have a six for you, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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This is a skilful written write from a talented pen and well deserving of a six. An amazing story filled with the horror of long ago when villages were pillaged when the men were away, homes were burned and women and children either kidnapped or killed. A well told story for the contest, a joy to read, sorry I don't have a six for you, love Dolly x
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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That's okay, Dolly. I figured I'd miss out on a few sixers by posting on Saturday. Lol. Thank you for the great review and big six offer though. I'm glad you liked my little tale. Have yourself a fantastic rest of your weekend.
=]
Ron
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You too Ron, Happy Easter x x x
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Oh yeah, I totally forgot about that. I've been up working all night and I'm tired. Happy Easter to you as well.
=]
Comment from LyndaS
Yaaassssss! 'Tis exceptional, Lord Dragonskulls!
Wow. There's a lot to unpack here.
While I am not really a fan of posting art with your submission, such is the enforced norms here. (sigh) It is one thing to troll endlessly for a representation that you desire to reflect what you have written to readers. It is entirely another to be moved by a piece of art and then write about it. More contests of this nature would be desirable. (yes, I know there is a writing club called 'picture this'. I am assuming that this is the format for this club. But who wants to join a club with a stupid cat reading a book as it's logo?)
I admit to laboriously filtering through endless pics on Google Images, looking for something to enhance a post. I also admit, I type in "fantasy wallpaper" as a last search, just for fun. I am easily lost for an hour inside brilliant artist's visions of people and places that are not of this earth.
This picture you found is beautiful and thought provoking and I love where you went with it. The structure and flow of this poem is flawless while tackling an a-b-a-b rhyme scheme, which must have been both challenging and restricting while you told this story.
The story is solid, beginning to end. You tie it together with the art with your last stanza. A devastated, focused warrior getting ready to kick ass to avenge his people and save his wife. Doesn't get any better than that!
I'm sure you know that fantasy does not usually excel on this site. However, since I cannot award you seven golden stars, I'm quite sure the committee will.
Exceptionally well done. Lynda
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Yaaassssss! 'Tis exceptional, Lord Dragonskulls!
Wow. There's a lot to unpack here.
While I am not really a fan of posting art with your submission, such is the enforced norms here. (sigh) It is one thing to troll endlessly for a representation that you desire to reflect what you have written to readers. It is entirely another to be moved by a piece of art and then write about it. More contests of this nature would be desirable. (yes, I know there is a writing club called 'picture this'. I am assuming that this is the format for this club. But who wants to join a club with a stupid cat reading a book as it's logo?)
I admit to laboriously filtering through endless pics on Google Images, looking for something to enhance a post. I also admit, I type in "fantasy wallpaper" as a last search, just for fun. I am easily lost for an hour inside brilliant artist's visions of people and places that are not of this earth.
This picture you found is beautiful and thought provoking and I love where you went with it. The structure and flow of this poem is flawless while tackling an a-b-a-b rhyme scheme, which must have been both challenging and restricting while you told this story.
The story is solid, beginning to end. You tie it together with the art with your last stanza. A devastated, focused warrior getting ready to kick ass to avenge his people and save his wife. Doesn't get any better than that!
I'm sure you know that fantasy does not usually excel on this site. However, since I cannot award you seven golden stars, I'm quite sure the committee will.
Exceptionally well done. Lynda
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Wow. Thank you so much for the outstanding review and giant sixer, Lynda. Haha. That's exactly what I typed in for a Google search. When I came across this picture I just had to write something to go with it.
Yeah, this place has let us use pictures ever since I joined numerous years ago. I'll admit, many works couldn't stand on their own without a picture attached. That's for sure. Again, I couldn't resist using this one though.
Plus I know fantasy doesn't fly too well on here but I love it, sooooo.... Lol.
This is a fantastic review, Lynda. Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked my little trip down massacre lane. Haha. I hope you have a great weekend and thank you again.
=]
Ron
Comment from cat frenette
Wow. Beautifully done DragonSkulls.
The visuals were stunning and I could almost see the swirling ash settling over the ruined village in the morning dew.
Excellent first chapter to what I'm sure will be a very entertaining, full length poetic story. I hope you have a sequel or two in the making.
This is an amazing narrative worthy of a minstrel's retelling of the epic tale.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Wow. Beautifully done DragonSkulls.
The visuals were stunning and I could almost see the swirling ash settling over the ruined village in the morning dew.
Excellent first chapter to what I'm sure will be a very entertaining, full length poetic story. I hope you have a sequel or two in the making.
This is an amazing narrative worthy of a minstrel's retelling of the epic tale.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much for the fantastic review, Cat. I don't really have anything in mind for adding to the piece yet. I came across this picture in a Google search and just had to use it. That's where this idea came from. I'll have to give it some though as to how I'll let it play out from here. I dearly appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked the piece. Thank you again.
=]
Ron
Comment from Jamison Brown
First, the technical stuff. Vivid imagery. Great word choice, with unforced rhymes. Great flow and build. Excellent form. No SPaG issues found. Excellent, complimenting presentation.
As for the content, I am a bit biased. I love this subject; medieval but applies today. There are lessons that can be learned from this poem... my favorite line is the last.
Excellent work, Dragon. I hope it gets the favor it deserves. - Jamison
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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First, the technical stuff. Vivid imagery. Great word choice, with unforced rhymes. Great flow and build. Excellent form. No SPaG issues found. Excellent, complimenting presentation.
As for the content, I am a bit biased. I love this subject; medieval but applies today. There are lessons that can be learned from this poem... my favorite line is the last.
Excellent work, Dragon. I hope it gets the favor it deserves. - Jamison
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Thank you for the uplifting review, my friend. When it comes to stories, I love the medieval era the most. I went searching for something inspirational and when I came across this picture I just had to use it. I really appreciate the kind comments and generous stars, Jamison. Have yourself a great day and thank you again.
Ron
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Here with excellent rhyme, you told a story with great imagery of warring factions and massacres. I found it a fascinating and brilliant piece of writing that put your reader at the scene.
I have to give you a six for this.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Here with excellent rhyme, you told a story with great imagery of warring factions and massacres. I found it a fascinating and brilliant piece of writing that put your reader at the scene.
I have to give you a six for this.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Wow, thank you so much for the giant six, Mary. I was just in one of my fantasy moods and when I came across this picture I just had to go with it. Lol. I dearly appreciate the gracious rating and kind words. I'm glad you liked my little tale of woe. Have yourself a great weekend and thank you again.
=]
Ron
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Broken Pact, presented with nine ABAB-rhymed quatrains, gets the reader's blood boiling as the warriors return from a mighty ordal to find treachery and destruction. Seems like the beginning of another battle, mercy will be left behind. Nicely told.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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This poem, The Broken Pact, presented with nine ABAB-rhymed quatrains, gets the reader's blood boiling as the warriors return from a mighty ordal to find treachery and destruction. Seems like the beginning of another battle, mercy will be left behind. Nicely told.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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That's for sure. Lol. Thank you for the great review and generous stars, Bill. I really appreciate it, friend. I'm glad you liked the piece. Have yourself a great weekend.
Ron
Comment from Lea Tonin1
Wow! That's awesome! Really great poem with lots of imagery and a cool. Story line.
I like the picture you chose as well! Hope those warriors kick butt! Having said all that I find no issues with your problem dramatically speaking. You know how to find issues aesthetically speaking. This is a very well rounded and awesome poem you put together. Thank you for your submission good luck in the contest I hope you have a great day!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Wow! That's awesome! Really great poem with lots of imagery and a cool. Story line.
I like the picture you chose as well! Hope those warriors kick butt! Having said all that I find no issues with your problem dramatically speaking. You know how to find issues aesthetically speaking. This is a very well rounded and awesome poem you put together. Thank you for your submission good luck in the contest I hope you have a great day!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Thank you so much for the excellent review, Lea. The piece was actually inspired by the picture this time. I dearly appreciate the kind comments and good luck wishes. I hope you have a fantastic day as well, Lea. Thank you again.
=]
Ron
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Wow, this is a wonderfully dark and atmospheric verse which so skilfully and imaginatively captures and expands upon the scene in the picture. Well metered with strong imagery and poignant detail. Nothing in my opinion that needs work. Well done and good luck in the contest, Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Wow, this is a wonderfully dark and atmospheric verse which so skilfully and imaginatively captures and expands upon the scene in the picture. Well metered with strong imagery and poignant detail. Nothing in my opinion that needs work. Well done and good luck in the contest, Debbie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Thank you for the kind review, Debbie. When I came across this picture I couldn't pass up writing something to go with it. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from Jim Wile
This was a wonderful poem that deserves 6 stars, but I've used this week's allotment up. You got us right in the mood of these fantastical medieval times of warring factions and dragon-slaying. I could picture well the horror they feared as they could see their town burning upon their return as well as the anger they felt for the breaking of their pact.
This was very well-written with excellent rhyme and meter. A great job. Jim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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This was a wonderful poem that deserves 6 stars, but I've used this week's allotment up. You got us right in the mood of these fantastical medieval times of warring factions and dragon-slaying. I could picture well the horror they feared as they could see their town burning upon their return as well as the anger they felt for the breaking of their pact.
This was very well-written with excellent rhyme and meter. A great job. Jim
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Thank you for the fantastic review and big six offer, Jim. It took some thought to come up with something to go with the picture but I just had to use it when I found it. I appreciate the kind words, friend. I'm glad you liked the piece. Thank you again.
Ron
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent, natural feeling, rhyming. It should fare well in the contest.
Your poem also flows well and tells an interesting story. Good work.
And good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Excellent, natural feeling, rhyming. It should fare well in the contest.
Your poem also flows well and tells an interesting story. Good work.
And good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2023
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Hey, Wayne, hello. Thank you for the great review and giant sixer, my friend. I was in the mood for fantasy last night. Lol. I appreciate the stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked the piece. Thank you again.
Ron
