Russian Roulette
A short story36 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading your club entry. Your writing is some of the best writing I have read and I always learn some thing from you. This post is no different. Your character are interesting and your plot and setting are great. Thank you.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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I enjoyed reading your club entry. Your writing is some of the best writing I have read and I always learn some thing from you. This post is no different. Your character are interesting and your plot and setting are great. Thank you.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing my story, Barbara, and for your very kind words. Appreciated.
Best wishes,
Tony
Comment from equestrik
truly well written story and so very tragic. What a horrible thing to kill others in a war, any war. I wish we ciould figure out our differences with out the violence and killing.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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truly well written story and so very tragic. What a horrible thing to kill others in a war, any war. I wish we ciould figure out our differences with out the violence and killing.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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How true. I wish so, too.
Thanks for reviewing.
Best wishes, Tony
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If you served and i think you did, thank you for your service.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
A story denoting a man who loved to narrate supposed experiences in the war.
"One pint turned into three or four and, before long, the major cast off his dark mood and started to regale the two lads with the wartime reminiscences he'd intended to share with his class. They proved to be a responsive audience, especially when the major began ordering and paying for whiskey chasers."
From this paragraph, I take it that these reminiscences were how he relieved himself of the bad memories of his heroic days. Young Evans
was bound by his own sadness, that resulted in his dark mood.
Ralf
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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A story denoting a man who loved to narrate supposed experiences in the war.
"One pint turned into three or four and, before long, the major cast off his dark mood and started to regale the two lads with the wartime reminiscences he'd intended to share with his class. They proved to be a responsive audience, especially when the major began ordering and paying for whiskey chasers."
From this paragraph, I take it that these reminiscences were how he relieved himself of the bad memories of his heroic days. Young Evans
was bound by his own sadness, that resulted in his dark mood.
Ralf
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing my story, Raif. Appreciated.
Best wishes,
Tony
Comment from BethShelby
I've only read your poetry in the past and was delighted to find you are quite a story teller as well. I liked the way you developed your characters. Ib began to appear that this teacher was quite a story teller as well. I was surprised to fin that there was a bullet in the chamber. It began to appear that he was full of hot air. At the end, the new show that he migh have been a hero after all but then the name were common. Was he? The title of the story make give the clue. There is a chance he was.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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I've only read your poetry in the past and was delighted to find you are quite a story teller as well. I liked the way you developed your characters. Ib began to appear that this teacher was quite a story teller as well. I was surprised to fin that there was a bullet in the chamber. It began to appear that he was full of hot air. At the end, the new show that he migh have been a hero after all but then the name were common. Was he? The title of the story make give the clue. There is a chance he was.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing my story, Beth. I appreciate your kind words.
Best wishes,
Tony
Comment from Shirley McLain
I enjoyed reading your short story. Was the point of the story, guilt by the Fletch for the loss of his men? You did a great job and I always enjoy your stories. Shirley
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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I enjoyed reading your short story. Was the point of the story, guilt by the Fletch for the loss of his men? You did a great job and I always enjoy your stories. Shirley
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing my story, Shirley, and for awarding a sixth star. I'm glad you enjoyed it. As for the point, I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions.
Best wishes,
Tony
Comment from robyn corum
Tony,
What a marvelous piece! From the first line through to the last, I was entranced. *smile* You brought this poor man to light in a slow and gradual way so the reader comes to know him -- and mourns with him all that could have been.
The ending was great. All along, you had strung to believe he was a fake - out for some glory, and then we find differently. I really, really enjoyed!
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Tony,
What a marvelous piece! From the first line through to the last, I was entranced. *smile* You brought this poor man to light in a slow and gradual way so the reader comes to know him -- and mourns with him all that could have been.
The ending was great. All along, you had strung to believe he was a fake - out for some glory, and then we find differently. I really, really enjoyed!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing my story, Robyn, and for awarding a sixth star. I'm glad you enjoyed it and appreciate your kind words.
Best wishes,
Tony
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Tony, that is a great story for the event. I liked it a lot. You never quite know who you are dealing with and just to imagine he brought that gun into a school room with one bullet in its chamber. Very well written and very well told.
As a by de by, did you ever see the film 'The Dear Hunter'? The final scene depicted that game with devastating effect. It (the film) won I don't know how many Oscars. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Wow, Tony, that is a great story for the event. I liked it a lot. You never quite know who you are dealing with and just to imagine he brought that gun into a school room with one bullet in its chamber. Very well written and very well told.
As a by de by, did you ever see the film 'The Dear Hunter'? The final scene depicted that game with devastating effect. It (the film) won I don't know how many Oscars. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing my story, Ulla. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Yes, I do remember seeing The Deer Hunter years ago. That was an intense scene, indeed. Although heavily disguised in the fiction, there are some elements of this tale that were based on a real-life event.
Best wishes,
Tony
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Tony,
Excellent story, well paced and engaging from beginning to end. I like the well developed characters. It moved along nicely with descriptive passages. Well done!!
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Hello, Tony,
Excellent story, well paced and engaging from beginning to end. I like the well developed characters. It moved along nicely with descriptive passages. Well done!!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2020
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Thanks for reviewing my story, Gypsy, and for your very kind words. Appreciated.
Best wishes,
Tony
Comment from humpwhistle
I loved the opening, Tony. I could hear the clatter of the boneshaker and witness the flowing of the robes. Then the 'trick' dismount--beautiful.
'Toads about to be kissed' is terrific. Brought Mark Twain to my mind.
Loved the pace, too. Nice use of 'scenes' to propel a story that could have otherwise been bogged down in 'transition.'
I, for one, prefer to believe the Major was not a complete charlatan. And I thank you for letting me draw my own conclusion.
My, I think the Club is off to an auspicious start!
Peace, Lee
However, Fielding saw a tell-tale glistening in his eye and tugged at Wilson's sleeve.--Speaking of pronouns, Tony, the 'his' in this sentence puzzled me at first. I might identify the eye as Evans's . . . simply for clarity's sake. Just a thought.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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I loved the opening, Tony. I could hear the clatter of the boneshaker and witness the flowing of the robes. Then the 'trick' dismount--beautiful.
'Toads about to be kissed' is terrific. Brought Mark Twain to my mind.
Loved the pace, too. Nice use of 'scenes' to propel a story that could have otherwise been bogged down in 'transition.'
I, for one, prefer to believe the Major was not a complete charlatan. And I thank you for letting me draw my own conclusion.
My, I think the Club is off to an auspicious start!
Peace, Lee
However, Fielding saw a tell-tale glistening in his eye and tugged at Wilson's sleeve.--Speaking of pronouns, Tony, the 'his' in this sentence puzzled me at first. I might identify the eye as Evans's . . . simply for clarity's sake. Just a thought.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks, Lee. I'm delighted you thought this one worth a six. Much appreciated. Thanks, too, for your suggestion. It makes the passage clearer, and I have made the change.
All good wishes, Tony
Comment from trimple
Good evening, Tony
A pleasure to find you curled up in a ball in my mail box again :)
Gripping story you have here that had me glued to the screen from start to finish.--If only I could write half as well.
his trusty boneshaker -- fabulous name for an old knackered bike.
they slunk off to their classroom with all the enthusiasm of two toads about to be kissed.-- brilliant metaphor, Tony.
hopped onto the dais at the front of the room, steadying himself against the lectern. The topic today was personal pronouns. He stood with his thumbs in the lapels of a well-patched tweed jacket and surveyed the rows of expectant faces.
the imagery here, is super. I could almost smell the musk eminating from those old smelly books
Fletch brushed an imaginary speck of dust from the muzzle and slid the gun back into his pocket.--brilliant!
love the juxterposition here between red biro and red apples, perhaps...
Thoroughly enjoyable story from start to end. I do hope that that this absurd incident helped cure him of his delusions.
Kindest regards
tracey
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Good evening, Tony
A pleasure to find you curled up in a ball in my mail box again :)
Gripping story you have here that had me glued to the screen from start to finish.--If only I could write half as well.
his trusty boneshaker -- fabulous name for an old knackered bike.
they slunk off to their classroom with all the enthusiasm of two toads about to be kissed.-- brilliant metaphor, Tony.
hopped onto the dais at the front of the room, steadying himself against the lectern. The topic today was personal pronouns. He stood with his thumbs in the lapels of a well-patched tweed jacket and surveyed the rows of expectant faces.
the imagery here, is super. I could almost smell the musk eminating from those old smelly books
Fletch brushed an imaginary speck of dust from the muzzle and slid the gun back into his pocket.--brilliant!
love the juxterposition here between red biro and red apples, perhaps...
Thoroughly enjoyable story from start to end. I do hope that that this absurd incident helped cure him of his delusions.
Kindest regards
tracey
Comment Written 16-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2020
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Thanks very much for taking the time to review this so thoroughly, Tracey. I really appreciate your specific comments. Most affirming.
I hope life is treating you well. Best wishes, Tony