A Cup of Sugar
A little sweetness in difficult times.35 total reviews
Comment from richie b
Amanda,
As the old song goes "Those were the
days my friend." You captured the reality
of our times and the human yearning
for camaraderie.
Your imagery paints a picture of longing.
Your images with the lady teach us the
simple touch friendship and how we
need it to breathe.
Thank you for sharing, good luck1
Richie b
reply by the author on 10-May-2020
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Amanda,
As the old song goes "Those were the
days my friend." You captured the reality
of our times and the human yearning
for camaraderie.
Your imagery paints a picture of longing.
Your images with the lady teach us the
simple touch friendship and how we
need it to breathe.
Thank you for sharing, good luck1
Richie b
Comment Written 08-May-2020
reply by the author on 10-May-2020
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Thank you, Richie, your comments ref;ect emtirely what I was trying to say...I miss friendship, laughter, the touch of another hand. Oh boy, I miss life.
Comment from Margaret Bednar
a longing we all have - to use our porches to greet neighbors, not quickly shutting the door after Lysoling the knob. Your writing sets the scene in such an idyllic manner which is surely at odds with this virus... sigh. I like how it ends, with even the borrowing a cup of sugar has to be weighed...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-May-2020
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a longing we all have - to use our porches to greet neighbors, not quickly shutting the door after Lysoling the knob. Your writing sets the scene in such an idyllic manner which is surely at odds with this virus... sigh. I like how it ends, with even the borrowing a cup of sugar has to be weighed...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-May-2020
reply by the author on 10-May-2020
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Thank you for reading my work.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is very good, Amada. We don't realize what we have had until we don't have it anymore. The inviting scene of sharing a muffin with someone is tempting, but not yet. Marilyn
reply by the author on 07-May-2020
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This is very good, Amada. We don't realize what we have had until we don't have it anymore. The inviting scene of sharing a muffin with someone is tempting, but not yet. Marilyn
Comment Written 07-May-2020
reply by the author on 07-May-2020
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Thank you Marilyn for the gracious support to my work.
Comment from Jake P.
I love the imagery and the poetry of the words. In the second paragraph: " Its lustrous asphalt seems to breath in the caress of the breeze" Perhaps consider "a soft breeze caresses the lustrous asphalt." AND "there is no{t} one soul outside".
I think the paragraph beginning "I see myself leisurely stepping in--forget the heavy brown door sealed under a massive bronze lock--" is awkward. " My imagination ignores the heavy brown door sealed under a massive bronze lock, and I see myself..."
My suggestions only. I too imagine the world free of the corona virus.
Good job. Lets find joy in writing.
reply by the author on 10-May-2020
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I love the imagery and the poetry of the words. In the second paragraph: " Its lustrous asphalt seems to breath in the caress of the breeze" Perhaps consider "a soft breeze caresses the lustrous asphalt." AND "there is no{t} one soul outside".
I think the paragraph beginning "I see myself leisurely stepping in--forget the heavy brown door sealed under a massive bronze lock--" is awkward. " My imagination ignores the heavy brown door sealed under a massive bronze lock, and I see myself..."
My suggestions only. I too imagine the world free of the corona virus.
Good job. Lets find joy in writing.
Comment Written 07-May-2020
reply by the author on 10-May-2020
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Dear writer, thank you for your awesome suggestions in how to improve this little essay. I followed your instructions to my best; I have an eye condition, I use a zoom computer...sometimes I get lost between lines. But I followed your great and unselfhish comments.
Comment from Gert sherwood
amada, How I wish I had 6******s to award you It was the last two paragraphs to me shows how sweet life can be so sweet when we feel down and out.
I have no suggestions. Thank you for lifting up my spirits and I sure you have with many with your free style of writing of how one should feel. Gert
reply by the author on 10-May-2020
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amada, How I wish I had 6******s to award you It was the last two paragraphs to me shows how sweet life can be so sweet when we feel down and out.
I have no suggestions. Thank you for lifting up my spirits and I sure you have with many with your free style of writing of how one should feel. Gert
Comment Written 07-May-2020
reply by the author on 10-May-2020
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Thank you dear Gert for your gracious comments to my little essay in here...I guess you owe me a 6...
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You are welcome amada
Smiles, yes I will save a six for
Gert
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your borrowing "a cup of sugar" analogy. My husband and I actually try to take a half-hour walk around our neighborhood by the Pacific Ocean or at a local park each day (with our masks and social distancing) each day. I appreciated your reminding us what togetherness means. Be safe and well- Joan
reply by the author on 07-May-2020
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I admired your borrowing "a cup of sugar" analogy. My husband and I actually try to take a half-hour walk around our neighborhood by the Pacific Ocean or at a local park each day (with our masks and social distancing) each day. I appreciated your reminding us what togetherness means. Be safe and well- Joan
Comment Written 07-May-2020
reply by the author on 07-May-2020
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Thank you, Joan for reading my work andd for your well wisjhes.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your little story. Your lines flow well with good pacing. Yu used great descriptive words for your neighborhood description. I could see everything you mentioned. I like the thinking back to other times when neighbors were true neighbors and could visit and would help at any time. I know the virus has shut that down. I'm speaking of a time way further back. Thanks for sharing.
Giraffmang:
Hebrew hasn't changed that much. Neither has Aramaic or Chaldee. Whereas, translating from Hebrew and Aramaic to English means you've lost so much. And some words just don't translate well.
'It may appear But to be fair, I don't think lecturing/condemning anyone on their religion (or lack of it) in a provocative and derogatory manner serves anyone well
It may seem this way for you here at FS but the other sites I go to are full of young people and this tone is fine them and we have a laugh and get down, lol. I blog a lot and have so many sites and forums where this goes. But your comments won't appear as I have a chance to monitor my blogs, and I don't care about this site much to be honest, I find the demographic rather out of touch. There are so many old people here who really aren't that well informed or educated, and they are living in the past, one of the baby boomers bad habits. And I don't care about trying to teach old dogs new tricks, and wouldn't put money on the boomers learning anything new at all. They're still reading the same poetry and listening to the same music they were listening to 60 years ago. That doesn't give one a lot of hope for change, lol - 2 minutes ago
reply by the author on 07-May-2020
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I enjoyed your little story. Your lines flow well with good pacing. Yu used great descriptive words for your neighborhood description. I could see everything you mentioned. I like the thinking back to other times when neighbors were true neighbors and could visit and would help at any time. I know the virus has shut that down. I'm speaking of a time way further back. Thanks for sharing.
Giraffmang:
Hebrew hasn't changed that much. Neither has Aramaic or Chaldee. Whereas, translating from Hebrew and Aramaic to English means you've lost so much. And some words just don't translate well.
'It may appear But to be fair, I don't think lecturing/condemning anyone on their religion (or lack of it) in a provocative and derogatory manner serves anyone well
It may seem this way for you here at FS but the other sites I go to are full of young people and this tone is fine them and we have a laugh and get down, lol. I blog a lot and have so many sites and forums where this goes. But your comments won't appear as I have a chance to monitor my blogs, and I don't care about this site much to be honest, I find the demographic rather out of touch. There are so many old people here who really aren't that well informed or educated, and they are living in the past, one of the baby boomers bad habits. And I don't care about trying to teach old dogs new tricks, and wouldn't put money on the boomers learning anything new at all. They're still reading the same poetry and listening to the same music they were listening to 60 years ago. That doesn't give one a lot of hope for change, lol - 2 minutes ago
Comment Written 07-May-2020
reply by the author on 07-May-2020
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Thank you for reading and commenting in this work.
Comment from BethShelby
I hope those days are not gone forever but I wonder about the world we live in at presents. It is good that we have happy memories to fall back on. Nicely written.
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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I hope those days are not gone forever but I wonder about the world we live in at presents. It is good that we have happy memories to fall back on. Nicely written.
Comment Written 07-May-2020
reply by the author on 08-May-2020
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Thank you for reading my work.
Comment from Mastery
Hi Harriett. Long time no see a post. LOL How are you? I liked this posting very much. You created so many beautiful images ...like this for instance:
"This morning the street shines under a radiant blue mantle; however, the long street is still. Its lustrous asphalt seems to breath in the caress of the breeze, but there is no one soul outside."
And this: " just like extending our hand to our next-door neighbor, and borrowing a cup of sugar, in a freelance smile. .."
I do have one small suggestion my friend. change this a bit: ", but there is no one soul outside." (Make this "Not a soul" I think.
Bless you. Take care and be safe. :) Bob
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Hi Harriett. Long time no see a post. LOL How are you? I liked this posting very much. You created so many beautiful images ...like this for instance:
"This morning the street shines under a radiant blue mantle; however, the long street is still. Its lustrous asphalt seems to breath in the caress of the breeze, but there is no one soul outside."
And this: " just like extending our hand to our next-door neighbor, and borrowing a cup of sugar, in a freelance smile. .."
I do have one small suggestion my friend. change this a bit: ", but there is no one soul outside." (Make this "Not a soul" I think.
Bless you. Take care and be safe. :) Bob
Comment Written 07-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Bob, thank you for your comments, but my name is Amada...
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Sorry thought you said it ws Nancy too?? :) Bob
Comment from zanya
Yes that's just how the world is beginning to look right now- the good old days of a few weeks ago seem to be gone forever - let's hope it will not be so! tha nks for sharing
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Yes that's just how the world is beginning to look right now- the good old days of a few weeks ago seem to be gone forever - let's hope it will not be so! tha nks for sharing
Comment Written 07-May-2020
reply by the author on 20-May-2020
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Thank you, dear reviewer.