Tightrope
Walking a fine line.24 total reviews
Comment from bob cullen
Lisa May this is a most provocative poem that offers several interpretations. Love the phrase, 'hums hymns of hope.'
I sense a degree of spirituality in the first half and maybe a feeling of disappointment. But it really did make me think. Thank you for that.
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Lisa May this is a most provocative poem that offers several interpretations. Love the phrase, 'hums hymns of hope.'
I sense a degree of spirituality in the first half and maybe a feeling of disappointment. But it really did make me think. Thank you for that.
Comment Written 16-May-2019
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Thanks for your review Bob. I wasn't feeling disappointed when I wrote it... trying for an uplifting feeling, and yes, it is spiritual.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Life sometimes feels like we are walking a tightrope and your words here are poignant, 'don't look down and don't look back,' wise faithful advice Lisa, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Life sometimes feels like we are walking a tightrope and your words here are poignant, 'don't look down and don't look back,' wise faithful advice Lisa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-May-2019
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Thanks Dolly. We strive to keep our balance!!
Comment from Kamisah Karim
Nice poem.A motivational piece. I like it very much.
If I may, I think you should check on the plural and singular forms of nouns presented in it
My sunshine smile of rapture,
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My sunshine smiles of rapture,
My shuffle of resolve,
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My shuffles of resolve.
Thank you for sharing.
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reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Nice poem.A motivational piece. I like it very much.
If I may, I think you should check on the plural and singular forms of nouns presented in it
My sunshine smile of rapture,
-
My sunshine smiles of rapture,
My shuffle of resolve,
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My shuffles of resolve.
Thank you for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-May-2019
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Thanks for your review. I've had a think about your suggestion.
I feel that my smile is singular... a bright sunny smile of happiness.
And shuffles sounds too much like snuffles. Shuffle is the verb I want to use, whereas shuffles turns the foot movement into nouns.
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Thank you Lisa. Now, I cam understand your intentions in your poem more clearly.Have a nice day Lisa.
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Thank you Lisa. Now, I cam understand your intentions in your poem more clearly.Have a nice day Lisa.
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Thank you! You have a lovely day too.
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Welcome Lisa.
Comment from lyenochka
Love this, LisaMay! It speaks to me about walking in life in faith. My favorite lines were:
"the wire hums hymns of hope"
"fading beneath my steady feet
guided by your hand"
And the last two words, I read as God's Hand.
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reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Love this, LisaMay! It speaks to me about walking in life in faith. My favorite lines were:
"the wire hums hymns of hope"
"fading beneath my steady feet
guided by your hand"
And the last two words, I read as God's Hand.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-May-2019
reply by the author on 16-May-2019
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Yes it's definitely God's guiding hand. Perhaps I should change those last 2 words, or should I leave it subtle as it is, for readers to arrive at that themselves?
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It's completely up to you. You can leave it to the reader to understand it. There's a famous Hebrew saying by a Rabbi, "Life is a very narrow bridge. The important thing is to not be afraid." But to me, that lacks the assurance we have in trusting God.
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We have to not be afraid to trust God.
