The French Letter
Viewing comments for Chapter 54 "Nearly a Cat-astrophe"A Novel
25 total reviews
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Tony. You have some wonderful portions of imagery in this chapter just as in all of them in my opinion:
Like here, for instance: "I was about to walk away when the door opened. There stood Madame Bisset, Helen's landlady, in her down-at-heel slippers and a violet cardigan. Her face lit up when she saw me. Her long suffering tortoiseshell, Serafino, was tucked under one arm."
And here: "She dumped Serafina unceremoniously on the doorstep and stretched her arms out towards me. Fearing a kiss, I proffered the rose. She clasped it to her ample bosom, scrunching the cellophane wrapping, and a tear glistened in her eye."
Please note: I have been enjoying your story of the French Letter for quite some time now,but this was the first time I was thrown a bit in the very beginning of a chapter. It is not your fault, entirely,but I have found that no matter how engrossed a reader gets in our writing, the fact that it is rationed out in spurts tends to make one forgetful not only of characters but also keeping track of the thread of the plot.
Such was the case with this chapter to some degree with me. sorry, just being honest, mate. I do not know what the answer is other than to say it is such a lengthy novel (or seems so) that you must provide a reminder from time to time in your prose to keep the reader in the moment by updating without the use of "the last paragraph" which is meaningless to the reader , particularly if they haven't followed the book right to the "T" as it were. with a book in hand, the reader can bring himself up to date, but updating on a computer brings a lot of time involved that most of us will not persue no matter ow much we love a story
Hope you get my meaning, Tony. God bless, Bob
One thing that was a bit out of the usual was this rather big chunk of French that had little meaning to me as a reader:
"Allons enfants de la Patrie
Le jour de gloire est arrivé
Contre nous de la tyrannie
L'étendard sanglant est..."
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Hi, Tony. You have some wonderful portions of imagery in this chapter just as in all of them in my opinion:
Like here, for instance: "I was about to walk away when the door opened. There stood Madame Bisset, Helen's landlady, in her down-at-heel slippers and a violet cardigan. Her face lit up when she saw me. Her long suffering tortoiseshell, Serafino, was tucked under one arm."
And here: "She dumped Serafina unceremoniously on the doorstep and stretched her arms out towards me. Fearing a kiss, I proffered the rose. She clasped it to her ample bosom, scrunching the cellophane wrapping, and a tear glistened in her eye."
Please note: I have been enjoying your story of the French Letter for quite some time now,but this was the first time I was thrown a bit in the very beginning of a chapter. It is not your fault, entirely,but I have found that no matter how engrossed a reader gets in our writing, the fact that it is rationed out in spurts tends to make one forgetful not only of characters but also keeping track of the thread of the plot.
Such was the case with this chapter to some degree with me. sorry, just being honest, mate. I do not know what the answer is other than to say it is such a lengthy novel (or seems so) that you must provide a reminder from time to time in your prose to keep the reader in the moment by updating without the use of "the last paragraph" which is meaningless to the reader , particularly if they haven't followed the book right to the "T" as it were. with a book in hand, the reader can bring himself up to date, but updating on a computer brings a lot of time involved that most of us will not persue no matter ow much we love a story
Hope you get my meaning, Tony. God bless, Bob
One thing that was a bit out of the usual was this rather big chunk of French that had little meaning to me as a reader:
"Allons enfants de la Patrie
Le jour de gloire est arrivé
Contre nous de la tyrannie
L'étendard sanglant est..."
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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As always, I appreciate your review, Bob. There have been so many twists and turns in the plot that I would find it hard to summarise it. However, I realise that, eventually, I must be able to produce a plot summary.
Realising that there would be quite a few readers unable to translate the French, I got Charles to summarise its meaning in the next paragraph.
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Hello, my friend. I think it's also a matter of some "end game" being in sight rather than so many changes that just sort of starts a new book with each one, instead of going back to the original plot with Helen. She tends to get lost. LOL It is all good though, but with any book sooner or later the reader wants to be able to put it down and say "that was a great story (or book) Know what I mean?
Comment from Pantygynt
This episode began with urinating relations and ended with a cold shoulder but was a fun read nonetheless.
I am still wetting myself or army aunt is (Tante pis = Aunt Piss). Try tant pis for never mind! Oh yes and all tortoisehell cats are female so I think her name would have been Serafina. It is just not your day is it?
I am happy those two managed to get together again though in the midst of all the fun.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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This episode began with urinating relations and ended with a cold shoulder but was a fun read nonetheless.
I am still wetting myself or army aunt is (Tante pis = Aunt Piss). Try tant pis for never mind! Oh yes and all tortoisehell cats are female so I think her name would have been Serafina. It is just not your day is it?
I am happy those two managed to get together again though in the midst of all the fun.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Glad to be able to amuse you! Since 'la plume de ma tante' is about the only French phrase that I remember from school, it seems that my subconscious mind thought fit to add the apparently missing 'e'!
I didn't know that all tortoiseshells are female - convenient colour-coding for tomcats. It seems that Seraphino/a was male in his mistress's arms but must have had a sex change shortly thereafter. Now he/she will spend the rest of his/her days uncertain of his/her sexual identity - and may even need a separate cat tray.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL! You do come up with some great endings, Tony. I enjoyed this chapter. Charles does try to get one over that awful creep, Bamforth, and equally, always falls short. He'll get him one day. Now to go and have a chat ... and other things, with Helen. Is he really going to tell all? How will she take it? Looks like another excellent part coming up. Well done, my friend. Hope you had a lovely Easter. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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LOL! You do come up with some great endings, Tony. I enjoyed this chapter. Charles does try to get one over that awful creep, Bamforth, and equally, always falls short. He'll get him one day. Now to go and have a chat ... and other things, with Helen. Is he really going to tell all? How will she take it? Looks like another excellent part coming up. Well done, my friend. Hope you had a lovely Easter. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Thanks, Sandra. A bit of light relief after all the MI6 nonsense. I appreciate the sixth star. Yes, we had a lovely Easter - and I hope you did, too. Busy with B&B changeovers, of course, but we're used to that.
Comment from JudyE
I always finish these chapters wanting to read more. :)
I only picked up a few points:
"All right then, but no here in the street - not here
I summoned the courage to ask as the last of the ice-cream succumbed to the Indian summer and started to run between my fingers. - maybe reverse the order here. - As the last of the ice-cream succumbed to the Indian summer and started to run between my fingers, I summoned the courage to ask "What has become of your friend, Jeanne? Is she still as much in need of your help as you imagined?"
I was too old to love her and because... and because... and because." - delete speech marks at the end
I got up and turned to leave, kicking an empty Coca-Cola can along the footpath like a teenager in a tantrum, as I walked away. - I might have put 'as I walked away' after 'footpath' then comma and 'like a teenager....' But that's getting very picky and probably just a matter of preference.
A shiver went down my spine. It may have been anticipation or it may just have been ice-cream. - perhaps 'it may have been just ice-cream'.
Regards. Judy
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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I always finish these chapters wanting to read more. :)
I only picked up a few points:
"All right then, but no here in the street - not here
I summoned the courage to ask as the last of the ice-cream succumbed to the Indian summer and started to run between my fingers. - maybe reverse the order here. - As the last of the ice-cream succumbed to the Indian summer and started to run between my fingers, I summoned the courage to ask "What has become of your friend, Jeanne? Is she still as much in need of your help as you imagined?"
I was too old to love her and because... and because... and because." - delete speech marks at the end
I got up and turned to leave, kicking an empty Coca-Cola can along the footpath like a teenager in a tantrum, as I walked away. - I might have put 'as I walked away' after 'footpath' then comma and 'like a teenager....' But that's getting very picky and probably just a matter of preference.
A shiver went down my spine. It may have been anticipation or it may just have been ice-cream. - perhaps 'it may have been just ice-cream'.
Regards. Judy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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I'm coming to depend on your sharp eye, Judy. Such very helpful reviews always, and much appreciated. I've made a raft of minor changes based on your suggestions. I hope you had a lovely Easter. Best wishes, Tony
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Thanks. We did have a nice Easter although Good Friday was bitterly cold. We're off to a music festival this weekend which will, I'm sure, be very enjoyable.
Comment from Sally Law
Your sense of humor is sticking out in this installment. Was it the ice cream or anticipation that caused the shiver? Maybe a little of both, I suspect. I am doing my best to catch up with you Tony. My eyesight continues to decline and my reading and reviews have slowed down some.
I always admire your quality writings and story telling abilities. Also, you have also tied current events into your story like that of ISIS.
All my best,
Sal :+)
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reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Your sense of humor is sticking out in this installment. Was it the ice cream or anticipation that caused the shiver? Maybe a little of both, I suspect. I am doing my best to catch up with you Tony. My eyesight continues to decline and my reading and reviews have slowed down some.
I always admire your quality writings and story telling abilities. Also, you have also tied current events into your story like that of ISIS.
All my best,
Sal :+)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Thank you, Sally. I'm not sure I'd have been so understanding if someone poked an ice-cream into the back of my neck! The poor chap must be in love!