The Ghost of Baker Park
Story of a soldier's long, lost grave27 total reviews
Comment from luther maddox
you hit the mark of creepiness and salute to the fallen soldier who has heard and felt the heart of you; speaking of him. Alas, he is not forgotten in books of history but alive under pen and paper.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
  |
you hit the mark of creepiness and salute to the fallen soldier who has heard and felt the heart of you; speaking of him. Alas, he is not forgotten in books of history but alive under pen and paper.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
-
Thank you so much for your review! It was a fun piece to write and am so glad you enjoyed!
-
alrighty
Comment from oliver818
Great poem, i enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed the imagery you chose, it's very evocative. Thanks for sharing this piece and have yourself a really great day.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
|
Great poem, i enjoyed it. I especially enjoyed the imagery you chose, it's very evocative. Thanks for sharing this piece and have yourself a really great day.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
-
Thank you! I enjoyed writing this one and am glad that you feel the imagery came through!
Comment from nbonner
I like the rhyme scheme and the poem flows nicely. My heart goes out to all the soldiers, men and women, who fight for this country and who died for this country. Thank you for sharing, NB
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
|
I like the rhyme scheme and the poem flows nicely. My heart goes out to all the soldiers, men and women, who fight for this country and who died for this country. Thank you for sharing, NB
Comment Written 18-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
-
Thank you so much. So happy you enjoyed the poem. We most certainly owe a debt of gratitude to all who have served and have died for the freedom that all of us share. Thank you again and have a wonderful day!
Comment from tfawcus
An eerie feel to this, enhanced by the echoing rhyme at the end of each verse. Your rhythm is impeccable though sometimes achieved with unnatural sentence inversion and unnatural use of 'did', especially in the verse:
"Then thunder cracked and wind did roar
On Baker Park, the rain did pour
Like never had it done before".
Despite that, an enjoyable poem that sends a slight shiver down the backbone!
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
|
An eerie feel to this, enhanced by the echoing rhyme at the end of each verse. Your rhythm is impeccable though sometimes achieved with unnatural sentence inversion and unnatural use of 'did', especially in the verse:
"Then thunder cracked and wind did roar
On Baker Park, the rain did pour
Like never had it done before".
Despite that, an enjoyable poem that sends a slight shiver down the backbone!
Comment Written 18-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2017
-
Thanks so much for your feedback! It was a fun piece to write and your vision of eeriness was what I was hoping to achieve! Thank you again for your review!
Comment from royowen
An excellent job you've made, for one verse you step out of the quatrains and produce a quintrain. The three syllable female rhyme at the end of each stanza works well, and the slightly mixed rhyme also. Articulate and smooth to the tongue, the ballad is very well written, sweetly scribed. So well done, good job, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
|
An excellent job you've made, for one verse you step out of the quatrains and produce a quintrain. The three syllable female rhyme at the end of each stanza works well, and the slightly mixed rhyme also. Articulate and smooth to the tongue, the ballad is very well written, sweetly scribed. So well done, good job, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
-
Thank you so much for your detailed and greatly appreciated review! I was hoping that the rhyming of the end of each stanza would show through and flow well. Am so glad to hear your positive comments! This is part of a series I had done several years ago for a Halloween event. So glad you enjoyed!
-
Most welcome
Comment from Mustang Patty
A lovely folk tale told in poetic form. Your piece moves with a rhythm and rhyme that works well and lets us distance ourselves from the thoughts of graves and ghosts,
~patty~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
|
A lovely folk tale told in poetic form. Your piece moves with a rhythm and rhyme that works well and lets us distance ourselves from the thoughts of graves and ghosts,
~patty~
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
-
Thank you so much for your comments - so happy that you enjoyed the piece!
Comment from Jan Anderegg
Creepy to the last bone-chilling line. Wow. You painted a vivid picture and I really liked the way the verse really read smoothly almost like a song. The imagery of the widows emotional reaction was really well written.
A great poem. I didn't see any errors and I have no suggestions for corrections.
Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
|
Creepy to the last bone-chilling line. Wow. You painted a vivid picture and I really liked the way the verse really read smoothly almost like a song. The imagery of the widows emotional reaction was really well written.
A great poem. I didn't see any errors and I have no suggestions for corrections.
Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017
-
Thank you so much for your review and that you were able to visualize my widow's reaction. I was hoping that part of the poem would come through!
