Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

Awwww, this is very sweet. He got a hug and thought it was the best gift.

Nicely written Dribble story. Nothing to change.

Good luck in the contest.

teresa

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Teresa. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. These micro shorties are always such a challenge for me.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

Comment from rama devi

Excellent

That's sweet. Making others happy brings the best happiness there is, in my opinion. NIce micro story. Lucid, well penned and effective twist in the closing with a message. Good flow too. Fine characterization with few words.

The only section I think might be trimmed and tightened (to suit the micro genre) is here:

She hugged him tight, and he smiled, thinking he'd gotten the best gift.

Idea:
She hugged him tight. He smiled. He'd gotten the best gift.

Good luck!
Love,
rd

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, rd. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. I always appreciate your comments for improvement.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

reply by rama devi on 20-Apr-2017

:-)))

Comment from humpwhistle

Exceptional

And a wise lad, too. This demonstrates the wisdom
of 'Tis better to give than receive'.
A good giver always reaps more than he sows--hows
that for mixing metaphors?
I know this is word-count sensitive, but maybe
you can work on your verbs a bit.
For instance, Jeremy chewed his lip, carefully creasing the newspaper while wrapping his Mother's present, determined to make it perfect.

You know what I mean?

Best of luck.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your awesome review for my micro story, hw. I truly appreciate your comments, generous extra star, and suggestions. 50 words is almost impossible to create a mood and give enough info for a story...especially for a wordy girl like me. I'll look into ways of using more powerful verbs and still keep the word limit and emotion. Thanks for reviewing and the stars.
Smiles,
Indy :-)

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

thank you for sharing your entry in the Dribble Flash Fiction contest. Within these few words, you have given us a story - I just wondered what the gift was! The mystery only enhanced the telling. Good luck in the contest!
~patty~

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, patty. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

Comment from TheWriteTeach

Excellent

I love this, Karyn! It is very moving. With well-chosen words, you packed a wealth of story into this tiny space. You painted a good picture in the mind's eye. I can see the mother and son, hugging, over the rails of the hospital bed. I think your title is perfect - it was an exchange of gifts.

I noticed one thing -

She hugged him tight, and he smiled[,] thinking he'd gotten the best gift. (need a comma where indicated)

Good luck in the contest. This will hold it's own.

Suzanne

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Suz. I truly appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. I'm very grateful for your help to improve the writing, and I did add the comma you suggested. Thanks so much for mentioning the title!
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

Comment from artemis53

Excellent

Good for you, Irish. The essence in this piece to me was how diligently the child worked and how loving a Mother to recognize the sincerity of her child. Sometimes pretty packages are not the best.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, artemis. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. Thanks for your kindness and understanding.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

I do like this one, Karyn. They say that gifts are far more precious in the giving than in the receiving. However, here both are equally precious. You manage to suggest such a great deal of love in these few short words. The least expensive gifts are so often the ones we cherish most.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Tony. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. I truly appreciate your feedback and kind understanding of this very short story.
Smiles,.
Karyn :-)

Comment from Thomas Bowling

Excellent

He did get her the best gift, himself. A very good contest entry. You should do well. Contests are difficult to win, but this one will be in the running.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Thomas. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Well written story that depicts what goes around comes around.

There is nothing more precious than a mother's love!

Should make an interesting entry into this contest.

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, Brett. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

Comment from PoemsOfDD

Excellent

IndianaIrish, a great entry for the Dribble Flash Fiction contest. A short story that allows the reader to feel the love and warmth a son has for his unwell mother and the love a mother has for her son. A hug can go a very long way. Good luck in the competition. ~DD

 Comment Written 20-Apr-2017

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reply by the author on 20-Apr-2017

Thanks for your kind review for my micro story, ~DD. I appreciate your comments, and thanks for your encouraging response. I agree with your comment how wonderful a hug can be, and thanks for your good luck wish in the contest.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)