Shore leave
A hallowed eve of tropic joy65 total reviews
Comment from Ira White
Excellent imagery that progressively takes us through this dingy place where sailors go on leave. All of the senses are engaged: the thumping of the rocking sampan against the dock, the sweet taste of the mangosteen, the feeling of the humid air and, of course, all of the visuals. It creates a well drawn picture. I also like the addition of the doll in the last part of the poem which ties it all up.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Excellent imagery that progressively takes us through this dingy place where sailors go on leave. All of the senses are engaged: the thumping of the rocking sampan against the dock, the sweet taste of the mangosteen, the feeling of the humid air and, of course, all of the visuals. It creates a well drawn picture. I also like the addition of the doll in the last part of the poem which ties it all up.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for this perceptive review, Ira, and your generosity in awarding my poem a six-star accolade. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from nancyrabbrose
A very well written poem that tells a solemn story. The images are vivid. The call to prayer "somewhere" is mystical and beautiful. The flow of the poem is soothing as a water flow. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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A very well written poem that tells a solemn story. The images are vivid. The call to prayer "somewhere" is mystical and beautiful. The flow of the poem is soothing as a water flow. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for your kind review, Nancy, and for giving your impressions of the poem's effect. Much appreciated, Tony.
Comment from MrTerence
Oh my gosh. I have to tell you how your poem awakened memories of my time in the US Navy while in the South Pacific. I felt the hot humid nights and your "Lazy fans swing slowly" and also the sights of the sampans that I passed on my way to the shore of the Asian villages we visited. Each line of your poem stirred me.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Oh my gosh. I have to tell you how your poem awakened memories of my time in the US Navy while in the South Pacific. I felt the hot humid nights and your "Lazy fans swing slowly" and also the sights of the sampans that I passed on my way to the shore of the Asian villages we visited. Each line of your poem stirred me.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Many thanks, Mr Terence. Glad it brought back memories and that it came across as being authentic. I grew up in Singapore and returned there for a tour with the RAF later on, and I also knew Hong Kong quite well (the photo was taken there). I appreciate your six star award. Much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Irish Rain
I LOVE this!!!! You have a knack of putting us right into the scene, making it so very real. I especially loved 'and sailors come ashore, to sample fruit like these, exquisitely diseased.' Who else could make disease so wonderfully, horribly exquisite!!!? And the children longing for the mangled doll, wow. A memorable poem! Blessings!!!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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I LOVE this!!!! You have a knack of putting us right into the scene, making it so very real. I especially loved 'and sailors come ashore, to sample fruit like these, exquisitely diseased.' Who else could make disease so wonderfully, horribly exquisite!!!? And the children longing for the mangled doll, wow. A memorable poem! Blessings!!!
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Many thanks, Judy. Glad it evoked the scene for you and that it came across as being authentic. I grew up in Singapore and returned there for a few years later in life, and also knew Hong Kong quite well (the photo was taken there). I very much appreciate your six-star award. Best wishes, Tony
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Wow, lucky you! I would love to see the ENTIRE world, even the tragic....blessings!!!
Comment from Alan K Pease
It sounds like a lament for someone who has once been to or seen the fantasies of South East Asia and is not sure he would want to visit again. The women in Bangkok were beautiful and the river sampans interesting, but the place full of disease all to be avoided. Rhyme patterns interesting as is the dissertation creative excellence.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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It sounds like a lament for someone who has once been to or seen the fantasies of South East Asia and is not sure he would want to visit again. The women in Bangkok were beautiful and the river sampans interesting, but the place full of disease all to be avoided. Rhyme patterns interesting as is the dissertation creative excellence.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Many thanks, Alan. Glad that it came across as being authentic. I grew up in Singapore and returned there for a tour with the RAF later on, and I also knew Hong Kong quite well (the photo was taken there). I very much appreciate your six star award. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Kingsrookviii
Tony, let me first say that you are one hell of a fantastic poet, my friend. You are incredible at painting a picture with the perfect language. This is a slice of live and could describe countless situations in port throughout centuries. This is important, in that society has changed so much, so fast, that these poetic descriptions are all important to ring true their essence and draw near meanings can be gleaned their study. Great work. Bruce.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Tony, let me first say that you are one hell of a fantastic poet, my friend. You are incredible at painting a picture with the perfect language. This is a slice of live and could describe countless situations in port throughout centuries. This is important, in that society has changed so much, so fast, that these poetic descriptions are all important to ring true their essence and draw near meanings can be gleaned their study. Great work. Bruce.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Many thanks, Bruce. Glad that it came across as being authentic. I grew up in Singapore and returned there for a tour with the RAF later on, and I also knew Hong Kong quite well (the photo was taken there). I very much appreciate your six star award. Best wishes, Tony
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That is interesting, because it reminded me straight away of The Sand Pebbles, an old movie with Steve McQueen. Great job. Bruce.
Comment from nomi338
The image you conjured up through the excellent use of descriptive words was far more vivid and compelling than the actual photo could ever have provided. Your so well written work, could serve as a how to example in how to write poetry that paints word pictures that even the blind could see and envision. This is a very powerful work. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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The image you conjured up through the excellent use of descriptive words was far more vivid and compelling than the actual photo could ever have provided. Your so well written work, could serve as a how to example in how to write poetry that paints word pictures that even the blind could see and envision. This is a very powerful work. Congratulations.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Many thanks, Nomi. Glad that it came across as being authentic. I grew up in Singapore and returned there for a tour with the RAF later on, and I also knew Hong Kong quite well (the photo was taken there). I very much appreciate your six star award. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from dragonpoet
This sounds like an area that needs prayer. It sounds dirty and poor. Though the fruit is a nice fresh part of it, if it is fresh and not in poor shape like the rest of the players in this poem. I like the image of the boats and the doll.
Good choice of artwork.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2016
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This sounds like an area that needs prayer. It sounds dirty and poor. Though the fruit is a nice fresh part of it, if it is fresh and not in poor shape like the rest of the players in this poem. I like the image of the boats and the doll.
Good choice of artwork.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for taking the time to review my work, Dragonpoet. I was interested in your comments. Best wishes, Tony
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You're very welcome, Tony.
Joan
Comment from Hayley Solomon
This is a very good poem, great rhythm, excellent structure.
It is evocative and rings very true, I actually believe you were there
and the feelings you evoke through this memoir are spot on.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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This is a very good poem, great rhythm, excellent structure.
It is evocative and rings very true, I actually believe you were there
and the feelings you evoke through this memoir are spot on.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
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Many thanks, Hayley. Glad that it came across as being authentic. I grew up in Singapore and returned there for a tour with the RAF later on, and I also knew Hong Kong quite well (the photo was taken there). I very much appreciate your six star award. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from IndianaIrish
What. Wonderfully written poem, Tony. I love the rhyme pattern and the words truly flow. Your technique is great, but it's your words providing incredible images of a life too many live that really got to me. Excellent.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2016
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What. Wonderfully written poem, Tony. I love the rhyme pattern and the words truly flow. Your technique is great, but it's your words providing incredible images of a life too many live that really got to me. Excellent.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 17-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2016
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Very many thanks for taking the time to review my poem, Karyn. It is always good to hear from you. Lovely comments, as always. Best wishes, Tony. Best wishes, Tony