Reviews from

2015 Haiku

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Haiku (keep you in my hand)"
A collection of haiku I wrote in 2015

26 total reviews 
Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
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I find them most fascinating, too. The colouring and markings they have are wonderful-to see them fly is lovely. Well chosen words and lovely picture. Good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    Thank you very much, I appreciate the review.
Comment from Serendipity!
Excellent
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1. small enough to be held and enjoyed
2. lovely to think of one (more) of Mother Nature's gentle touches
3. Imagining those tiny, fine legs that are so light they tickle.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    Thank you very much, I appreciate the review.
Comment from TAB_that's me
Excellent
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I love that satori line. I loved lady bugs as a kid but rarely see them any more. now we have something similar but it is orange and it bites and stinks. Good luck in the contest.

Teresa

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    oh no! biting and stinking ladybugs? Not fun at all. I like playing with them when I was a little girl. I liked to hold them in my hand, they tickled. Thank you for the review.
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
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This meets the contest requirements as the line and syllable count are correct. Concrete imagery is okay even if the satori lacks any magic. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    No magic? (sadness) I thank you for the review and the 5 stars. :)
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Excellent
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Delicate and very nicely done.
It does not stand alone without the picture as you don't know what it is being written about, I hope this does not disqualify you. The first and second I would connect more. I was disqualified for it. but I am still learning too.
I really like it and the picture is great to explain it.
good luck. the rest of the rules are spot on.

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 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    I thank you for the review and the 5 stars. :)
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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I enjoyed your haiku. Your words are so sweet and bring back fond memories.

You must rework your lines to the short/long/short format

I keep you in my hand 6 syls.
nature's gentle touch 5
you tickle me a lot 6

maybe:

in my hand 3
you are nature's gentle touch 7
ticklish friend 4

Please remember these are only suggestion. I only wrote this to help you see that short/long/short format.

If you do not change, you will be DQed (been there myself),










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 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015

reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    Thank you so much!!!! I missed that rule. I will change it now.