My Bluebird
English Sonnet34 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
You're very good at writing sonnets, Mikey. Haven't you won a few awards for them here as well? I thought I recall seeing you'd placed recently in a FanStory sponsored contest.
This wonderfully constructed English Sonnet is certainly no exception.
A beautifully written sonnet proclaiming that, while we can love with great passion, we also have to be careful not to cling too tightly. Everyone needs a chance to breathe, to be themselves, and to be taste freedom.
Wonderfully done, Mikey, and again, I wish you the very best of luck in the contest.
  |
You're very good at writing sonnets, Mikey. Haven't you won a few awards for them here as well? I thought I recall seeing you'd placed recently in a FanStory sponsored contest.
This wonderfully constructed English Sonnet is certainly no exception.
A beautifully written sonnet proclaiming that, while we can love with great passion, we also have to be careful not to cling too tightly. Everyone needs a chance to breathe, to be themselves, and to be taste freedom.
Wonderfully done, Mikey, and again, I wish you the very best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is beautiful Ray. Now that is the Bard I remember!
The meter and the rhyme are perfect and I love the presentation as well. So beautiful....
But, I know so much more than my kept bird.
There's guilt steeped in deceit at my cell door.
This cage has trapped me too. It is assured,
no rescue comes for me from distant shore.
My lovely bluebird's song wells up 'till spilled.
I took her freedom, but 'twas love I killed.
It warrents a Six in my opinion! xsx Nancy
 |
This is beautiful Ray. Now that is the Bard I remember!
The meter and the rhyme are perfect and I love the presentation as well. So beautiful....
But, I know so much more than my kept bird.
There's guilt steeped in deceit at my cell door.
This cage has trapped me too. It is assured,
no rescue comes for me from distant shore.
My lovely bluebird's song wells up 'till spilled.
I took her freedom, but 'twas love I killed.
It warrents a Six in my opinion! xsx Nancy
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
Comment from krys123
Mikey;
an exceptional English sonnet that is written so well where the tempo and meter give the rhythm a delight to read. I enjoyed reading this mastery foot is a good example of an English sonnet.
The rhyming being neither forced nor labored, helped with the rhythmic flow is the rhythm flowed smoothly throughout the writing.
The metaphoric imagery, throughout the writing,
Is very demonstratively descriptive as well as artistically expressive: "My lovely bluebird's song wells up till spilled. I took her freedom, but 'twas love I killed." A beautiful reference and portrayal of capturing the sounds of love for oneself that a person can hear the beautiful songs of love but still it is love that is captured and killed.
Thank you for sharing and posting good luck in the sonic contest for this is more than an excellent entry.
Alex
|
Mikey;
an exceptional English sonnet that is written so well where the tempo and meter give the rhythm a delight to read. I enjoyed reading this mastery foot is a good example of an English sonnet.
The rhyming being neither forced nor labored, helped with the rhythmic flow is the rhythm flowed smoothly throughout the writing.
The metaphoric imagery, throughout the writing,
Is very demonstratively descriptive as well as artistically expressive: "My lovely bluebird's song wells up till spilled. I took her freedom, but 'twas love I killed." A beautiful reference and portrayal of capturing the sounds of love for oneself that a person can hear the beautiful songs of love but still it is love that is captured and killed.
Thank you for sharing and posting good luck in the sonic contest for this is more than an excellent entry.
Alex
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
Comment from fastdigits
Having attempted an English sonnet
but once, I know how difficult it
can be with all the little twists
and turns necessary to full fill,
But you have written a beautiful
tale of love in soft brush strokes
of the master painter leaving a
mural steeped with love, but also
poignant feelings that caress the
heart and soul.
Well done
|
Having attempted an English sonnet
but once, I know how difficult it
can be with all the little twists
and turns necessary to full fill,
But you have written a beautiful
tale of love in soft brush strokes
of the master painter leaving a
mural steeped with love, but also
poignant feelings that caress the
heart and soul.
Well done
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
Comment from amanda98653
This is an exceptional write, Mikey.
The first stanza is memorably poignant :
"My bluebird sings sweet songs without a care,
as though the bars that cage her are not seen.
Soft melodies drift lightly through the air,
the breeze takes flight with notes, aloft- serene."
The fact that the bluebird still sings even when she's caged makes readers question about the true nature of imprisonment. Perhaps, in relation to your poem, only the creature's body is in captivity and the mind is not. Although she is unable to physically escape, her imagination is still active and unconfined, since her mind is able to conjure melodies and let the music live her true nature-- to take flight in the sky.
"My lovely bluebird's song wells up 'till spilled.
I took her freedom, but 'twas love I killed."-- This reminds me of how the harder you grasp the sand, the more grains fall from your hand.
definitely an exceptional poem
hugs
Amanda
|
This is an exceptional write, Mikey.
The first stanza is memorably poignant :
"My bluebird sings sweet songs without a care,
as though the bars that cage her are not seen.
Soft melodies drift lightly through the air,
the breeze takes flight with notes, aloft- serene."
The fact that the bluebird still sings even when she's caged makes readers question about the true nature of imprisonment. Perhaps, in relation to your poem, only the creature's body is in captivity and the mind is not. Although she is unable to physically escape, her imagination is still active and unconfined, since her mind is able to conjure melodies and let the music live her true nature-- to take flight in the sky.
"My lovely bluebird's song wells up 'till spilled.
I took her freedom, but 'twas love I killed."-- This reminds me of how the harder you grasp the sand, the more grains fall from your hand.
definitely an exceptional poem
hugs
Amanda
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
A dark and somewhat sad poem. Okay, let's just really call it what it is: creepy. You're lucky to be able to write poetry as well. Doesn't come naturally to me. Well done.
|
A dark and somewhat sad poem. Okay, let's just really call it what it is: creepy. You're lucky to be able to write poetry as well. Doesn't come naturally to me. Well done.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
Comment from crzypnter
Mikey, This is a great contest entry a story told well in this sonnet. I can't really pick which stanza I like the best. Love the imagery with the colors you chose. Once again great job my friend.
|
Mikey, This is a great contest entry a story told well in this sonnet. I can't really pick which stanza I like the best. Love the imagery with the colors you chose. Once again great job my friend.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Michael: Very well written, my friend. I like the black and blue colors and the photo, too. I listen while my heart takes flight is my favorite line. The cage has trapped me, I took her freedom, good images.
I have not tried these sonnets. You are very skilled and brave. Maybe, trapped passions can cage people. My husband likes cars and I like to write and take photos. Together, dream and love flies in harmony!
God bless the words of your pen! Soli deo Gloria!
flylikeaneagle
|
Michael: Very well written, my friend. I like the black and blue colors and the photo, too. I listen while my heart takes flight is my favorite line. The cage has trapped me, I took her freedom, good images.
I have not tried these sonnets. You are very skilled and brave. Maybe, trapped passions can cage people. My husband likes cars and I like to write and take photos. Together, dream and love flies in harmony!
God bless the words of your pen! Soli deo Gloria!
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
Comment from trimple
Hi Michael
This is a beautiful sonnet, telling the story of a bird being held by a prisoner, who understands what it is not to be free, and kills his encaged songbird.
A little bit like the bird of Alcatraz, only the prisoner doesn't have a window for to let his pet bird fly away.
I think I have it right...
Your sonnet is in perfect order, and a super read.
best of luck
kind regards
trimple:)
|
Hi Michael
This is a beautiful sonnet, telling the story of a bird being held by a prisoner, who understands what it is not to be free, and kills his encaged songbird.
A little bit like the bird of Alcatraz, only the prisoner doesn't have a window for to let his pet bird fly away.
I think I have it right...
Your sonnet is in perfect order, and a super read.
best of luck
kind regards
trimple:)
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
Comment from onebrit
What a sad little sonnet this is....poor caged birds, both of you. And in truth most of us spend our lives as caged birds we just don't realize it. This piece is beautiful, meaningful and thought provoking.
|
What a sad little sonnet this is....poor caged birds, both of you. And in truth most of us spend our lives as caged birds we just don't realize it. This piece is beautiful, meaningful and thought provoking.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2014
