On Writing a Crown of Heroic Sonnets
Not for the faint-hearted61 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
But though I make that claim, I must be frank,
My wrinkled mind is largely still a blank ... chuckles ... :)
And soon I spiralled down beyond reclaim.
The sweetest things in life were what I ate. .. oh, poor Fatty .. can't help smiling, still ...
I was entranced, in love, inflamed, beguiled
And now a man. .. sigh .. I'm loving this journey, Tony!
Magnifico! Bravo!! Bravo, my friend.
XXXXXX (6) - I'm quite desolate to be out of the sixes this lengthy masterpiece is worth. Brilliantly crafted and never once faltered in form.
SO impressed!
Sonali :)
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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But though I make that claim, I must be frank,
My wrinkled mind is largely still a blank ... chuckles ... :)
And soon I spiralled down beyond reclaim.
The sweetest things in life were what I ate. .. oh, poor Fatty .. can't help smiling, still ...
I was entranced, in love, inflamed, beguiled
And now a man. .. sigh .. I'm loving this journey, Tony!
Magnifico! Bravo!! Bravo, my friend.
XXXXXX (6) - I'm quite desolate to be out of the sixes this lengthy masterpiece is worth. Brilliantly crafted and never once faltered in form.
SO impressed!
Sonali :)
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Although you may have been reaching for the stars, Sonali, be assured that your review is worth far, far more!
I'm one of the lucky ones who can eat whatever I like without putting on so much as an extra ounce. Not sure where it all goes. Feeding that blessed muse, I suppose! However, I do feel for those who are cursed with a different kind of metabolism. The schoolyard can be a cruel place.
I'm delighted that the small touches of humour worked. I had in mind a much loftier work but I could only see it getting more turgid by the minute! Milton, I am not!
You are a sweetheart to write so kindly!
Bless you!
Tony
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You must be like my husband - he gobbles down an entire ox (or so it seems) for dinner and remains as slender as can be. I have to work hard to be where I am!
I did love the poem and the humour, Tony. You are a phenomenal poet, you know. :)
p.s. Milton may not work on FS ... prefer .. you!
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Sigh :) (As Gungalo might say!)
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is an amazing piece of writing, a master of the technical form of Sonnets. I enjoyed the way you took us down through the ages of our life. A child growing, school, and all that entails. I did enjoy this superb piece of poetry. Good luck in the contest! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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This is an amazing piece of writing, a master of the technical form of Sonnets. I enjoyed the way you took us down through the ages of our life. A child growing, school, and all that entails. I did enjoy this superb piece of poetry. Good luck in the contest! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you, Sandra, for writing such a positive and supportive review. I am somewhat humbled by your praise! I appreciate your good luck wishes, too!
Comment from Dirus
Hi there,
Good job on this one. good clip art as well. I liked the first and last parts the most. thank you for the nice read. keep up the good work. :)
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Hi there,
Good job on this one. good clip art as well. I liked the first and last parts the most. thank you for the nice read. keep up the good work. :)
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thanks for your kind review, Dirus. Appreciated.
Comment from Ric Myworld
New to poetry and its many styles and structures, I'm forced to trust my ears and eyes to find what I like to read. I enjoyed this poem, although I know nothing of the technicalities, just liked the steps of different sonnets. Thanks for the read.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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New to poetry and its many styles and structures, I'm forced to trust my ears and eyes to find what I like to read. I enjoyed this poem, although I know nothing of the technicalities, just liked the steps of different sonnets. Thanks for the read.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thanks for reviewing, Ric. I appreciate your kind comments. Have a great day!
Comment from marycec
I am in total awe of your technical mastery of the form.What an achievement. I loved the way you took us through life's journey.Having a brand new grandson I was particularly taken by the second sonnet but they all flowed really well. I found myself thinking of Blake and Shakespeare at times.i loved the line 'with wings that blur like those of humming birds' -an exquisite image. This is wonderful.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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I am in total awe of your technical mastery of the form.What an achievement. I loved the way you took us through life's journey.Having a brand new grandson I was particularly taken by the second sonnet but they all flowed really well. I found myself thinking of Blake and Shakespeare at times.i loved the line 'with wings that blur like those of humming birds' -an exquisite image. This is wonderful.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for this generous review, your kind words and stars, Mary. I feel most delightfully flattered and shall walk with a spring in my step this morning!
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:-)
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is certainly a technically well done crown of heroic sonnets. Believe me, since I am also writing one of these, I well understand the feeling of "will I ever get to the end of this thing? Oh no, there are still three more to go!" It has a Shakespearean flavor and some clever Shakespearean allusions, such as "When I shall shift this mortal coil that girds...." Your iambic pentameter is perfect, rhyme scheme is correct of course, and yes, you do indeed entertain with the poem, as you seek to do. Don't know about you, but it will be many a moon before I let myself get ensnared into writing another of these. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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This is certainly a technically well done crown of heroic sonnets. Believe me, since I am also writing one of these, I well understand the feeling of "will I ever get to the end of this thing? Oh no, there are still three more to go!" It has a Shakespearean flavor and some clever Shakespearean allusions, such as "When I shall shift this mortal coil that girds...." Your iambic pentameter is perfect, rhyme scheme is correct of course, and yes, you do indeed entertain with the poem, as you seek to do. Don't know about you, but it will be many a moon before I let myself get ensnared into writing another of these. Good luck to you, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you for your gracious review, Jeanie. It is definitely a one-off for me too! Good luck with yours!
Comment from Domino 2
An ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT 'Crown', Tony.
I started a little confused when it appeared you were royalty and then mentioned the 'school yard', but I guess that was just a metaphor for feeling special...until you were bullied and stood your ground.
Just one line seemed a syllable short of meter:
'Rondeno's Madame Caillaux, for sure' - maybe just insert, 'is' before 'for' to regain the alternate syllable stress.
Apart from that tiny glitch (IMO), the iambic pentameter is completely faultless throughout, and all the rhymes appear unforced.
Fun of you to mention and compliment other contestants, and I also like your humble attitude, though it's completely unnecessary as this is special!
I'm very stingy with my sixers, but here's a thoroughly deserved one.
I haven't even got a theme, let alone any words for my entry, and after reading yours, I feel I'll be wasting my time.
Good luck. Exceptional!
Best wishes, Ted.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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An ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT 'Crown', Tony.
I started a little confused when it appeared you were royalty and then mentioned the 'school yard', but I guess that was just a metaphor for feeling special...until you were bullied and stood your ground.
Just one line seemed a syllable short of meter:
'Rondeno's Madame Caillaux, for sure' - maybe just insert, 'is' before 'for' to regain the alternate syllable stress.
Apart from that tiny glitch (IMO), the iambic pentameter is completely faultless throughout, and all the rhymes appear unforced.
Fun of you to mention and compliment other contestants, and I also like your humble attitude, though it's completely unnecessary as this is special!
I'm very stingy with my sixers, but here's a thoroughly deserved one.
I haven't even got a theme, let alone any words for my entry, and after reading yours, I feel I'll be wasting my time.
Good luck. Exceptional!
Best wishes, Ted.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Good morning, Ted! I deeply appreciate your review, your advice and your six stars. You are absolutely right about that particular line! My eyesight is a bit blurred these days and I had misread Caillaux as Cailliaux with an extra short syllable in it. I have adopted your suggested amendment, which makes perfect sense when I also remove the comma. Best wishes, Tony
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I had to read that line a few times too, Tony, so it seems we BOTH need to visit the optician. :-).
Thanks for your gracious reply. Ted.
Comment from MissMerri
I am filled with admiration, awe even, at this amazing crown of heroic sonnets. I often find these things tedious or difficult to follow, but not this one. I was captivated from the very first line... and then transfixed with the language, the metaphors, the vivid images of this speaker being born and describing it so eloquently. What a clever idea! I absolutely loved this amazing poem.
(It seemed to me that only one line was off a tiny bit in the iambs, but easily fixed if you want to do it. "Sometimes, like all old men, I reminisce," Sometimes is usually emphasized on the "Some", I believe. If you said, "Like all old men, I sometimes reminisce," the meaning is preserved and the iambs return to normal.) No matter, I love this and thought it most certainly deserved the exceptional rating. I know how difficult this is to do, and you have written a truly entertaining piece. Best of luck to you in this contest. MM
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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I am filled with admiration, awe even, at this amazing crown of heroic sonnets. I often find these things tedious or difficult to follow, but not this one. I was captivated from the very first line... and then transfixed with the language, the metaphors, the vivid images of this speaker being born and describing it so eloquently. What a clever idea! I absolutely loved this amazing poem.
(It seemed to me that only one line was off a tiny bit in the iambs, but easily fixed if you want to do it. "Sometimes, like all old men, I reminisce," Sometimes is usually emphasized on the "Some", I believe. If you said, "Like all old men, I sometimes reminisce," the meaning is preserved and the iambs return to normal.) No matter, I love this and thought it most certainly deserved the exceptional rating. I know how difficult this is to do, and you have written a truly entertaining piece. Best of luck to you in this contest. MM
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Many thanks for that, MM! You are absolutely right! Great suggestion which I have now adopted! Not sure how I missed that one. Must be getting old! Such a nice review and lovely to wake up this morning to your six stars! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
This is really an amazingly good crown of sonnets. A real tour de force. Perfect iambic pentameter. The only line I could not read that way was 'Rondeno's........' I tried several times - but a mere detail on what is a great pleasure to read. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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This is really an amazingly good crown of sonnets. A real tour de force. Perfect iambic pentameter. The only line I could not read that way was 'Rondeno's........' I tried several times - but a mere detail on what is a great pleasure to read. Good Luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Many thanks for your generous response to my excruciatingly long poem! I shall not be writing another one of these, and that's a fact! Teddy Bears All also picked me up on that line and offered the simple insertion of 'is' to complete the pentameter (Rondeno's Madame Caillaux is for sure). My eyesight is a bit blurry these days and I had been reading Caillaux as Cailliaux with an extra syllable. My pronunciation of French is just marginally worse than Churchill's was!
Comment from Bayberry
This is brilliant, Tony. It is heartfelt and carries a message of important. Poets, especially, struggle to release our inspirations the way they are conceived and it is not always a smooth path to walk trying to accomplish what it is our hearts are saying inside.
I've only written one crown of heroic sonnets and the most difficult part was not repeating any end rhymes. You've mastered this form beautifully. These two verses speak to me the strongest:
Now mating with one's muse is not a crime
And outcomes if they're good may wear a crown.
Heroic sonnets do take stacks of time
Unless you have a muse to smooth your frown.
The words you thought were verging on sublime
Just never fit the form when written down.
The rigours of the rhythm and the rhyme
Take incoherent tumbles like a clown.
...............
These are the things the lowly poet's for,
A window on the world for those with time
To think. Sometimes we lead you through a door
To worlds that lie beyond the ones we rhyme,
To worlds we wake and cast upon your shore.
When I have found some poet's words sublime
They've changed the way I looked at life before
When lost in all the dross of worldly grime.
Blessings and best wishes for your magnificent entry, Janet
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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This is brilliant, Tony. It is heartfelt and carries a message of important. Poets, especially, struggle to release our inspirations the way they are conceived and it is not always a smooth path to walk trying to accomplish what it is our hearts are saying inside.
I've only written one crown of heroic sonnets and the most difficult part was not repeating any end rhymes. You've mastered this form beautifully. These two verses speak to me the strongest:
Now mating with one's muse is not a crime
And outcomes if they're good may wear a crown.
Heroic sonnets do take stacks of time
Unless you have a muse to smooth your frown.
The words you thought were verging on sublime
Just never fit the form when written down.
The rigours of the rhythm and the rhyme
Take incoherent tumbles like a clown.
...............
These are the things the lowly poet's for,
A window on the world for those with time
To think. Sometimes we lead you through a door
To worlds that lie beyond the ones we rhyme,
To worlds we wake and cast upon your shore.
When I have found some poet's words sublime
They've changed the way I looked at life before
When lost in all the dross of worldly grime.
Blessings and best wishes for your magnificent entry, Janet
Comment Written 12-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for this generous review, your kind words and stars, Janet. I feel most delightfully flattered and shall walk with a spring in my step this morning!