A Picture's Worth a Thousand Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Horrified"A compilation of pictapoems from my portfolio
86 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
This is spectacular in every way. A powerful and compelling plea for those that need advocates the most. Every eye should be open in the most intrusive and rude way. Suspicion should border on paranoid. It is so far to the other extreme now I see no other way. These are all simple facts without the slightest exaggeration. Your piece has not even a hint of sensationalism in it. It is straight reporting of fact. Well done. I hope everyone reads it and takes it as a personal matter to attend to. mikey
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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This is spectacular in every way. A powerful and compelling plea for those that need advocates the most. Every eye should be open in the most intrusive and rude way. Suspicion should border on paranoid. It is so far to the other extreme now I see no other way. These are all simple facts without the slightest exaggeration. Your piece has not even a hint of sensationalism in it. It is straight reporting of fact. Well done. I hope everyone reads it and takes it as a personal matter to attend to. mikey
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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Thanks very much for your personal insights into this one, Mike. I really hope so too, my friend...
Comment from Jackarrie
Oh Dean, this must have affected you writing, and putting this together, to highlight the despicable act and heinous crime afflicted on our young children, by people who are meant to love and protect them. To think this is happening on a large scale is appalling. They do not deserve to live, what kind of minds do they have? kill the B*****ds
I get so wound up and upset, and I am neglecting to compliment you on this work of art. there even may be a possibility that someone here on Fanstory is reading it and may have a suspicion of a family member and will do something about it.
well done I congratulate you. Mary (no sixes)
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Oh Dean, this must have affected you writing, and putting this together, to highlight the despicable act and heinous crime afflicted on our young children, by people who are meant to love and protect them. To think this is happening on a large scale is appalling. They do not deserve to live, what kind of minds do they have? kill the B*****ds
I get so wound up and upset, and I am neglecting to compliment you on this work of art. there even may be a possibility that someone here on Fanstory is reading it and may have a suspicion of a family member and will do something about it.
well done I congratulate you. Mary (no sixes)
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
Comment from Teagan Rose Horton
wow this is excellent, you have used such great techniques, your writing is so precise and profound, i loved reading this, you have such great talent and enthusiasm, i hope to read more from you, have a blessed day
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wow this is excellent, you have used such great techniques, your writing is so precise and profound, i loved reading this, you have such great talent and enthusiasm, i hope to read more from you, have a blessed day
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
Comment from barkingdog
I read the notes first so understood what you were writing about. It's a horrible situation when a child has to face the cruelty of one who is supposed to be a protector.
I found the poem difficult to read, because it is reality. :) e
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I read the notes first so understood what you were writing about. It's a horrible situation when a child has to face the cruelty of one who is supposed to be a protector.
I found the poem difficult to read, because it is reality. :) e
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
Comment from Carole Rosa
Dean, I read your poem twice, because I couldn't believe how true to life the lines of Horrified were. I had a wonderful father. It's so hard for me to understand how a grown man could sexually abuse his own flesh and blood child.
I had to turn off the 'voice' of cries. It was too painful to listen too. I could see what was happening to that child in my mind.
Therefore, I have to say that your magnificent poetic story was extremely well written to give me such pain.
My granddaughter was left for me to raise, when my daughter left the state with the carnival to do drugs. I took care of Jenni for many years, before and after the abuse. I helped my FORMER son-in-law to get custody of my beautiful nine year old granddaughter, because I thought that she should have at least one parent.
Shortly after he took her, I knew something was wrong. It took four years in court to regain custody of her. During the process she did tell her aunt and finally I got her back at the age of thirteen. The father only went to prison for five years, because he pleaded "no contest". I haven't seen my granddaughter for 10 years, because she blames me for giving her to him. She's married with two children and I miss her.
But what amazes me is how you could write such a fantastic story, in a poem, without actually being that little girl. This is actually my granddaughter's story. Almost word or word!
I read your profile and you are correct, this poem was so horrible that I won't sleep tonight.
You deserve a hundred plus a hundred stars for this one. Carole
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Dean, I read your poem twice, because I couldn't believe how true to life the lines of Horrified were. I had a wonderful father. It's so hard for me to understand how a grown man could sexually abuse his own flesh and blood child.
I had to turn off the 'voice' of cries. It was too painful to listen too. I could see what was happening to that child in my mind.
Therefore, I have to say that your magnificent poetic story was extremely well written to give me such pain.
My granddaughter was left for me to raise, when my daughter left the state with the carnival to do drugs. I took care of Jenni for many years, before and after the abuse. I helped my FORMER son-in-law to get custody of my beautiful nine year old granddaughter, because I thought that she should have at least one parent.
Shortly after he took her, I knew something was wrong. It took four years in court to regain custody of her. During the process she did tell her aunt and finally I got her back at the age of thirteen. The father only went to prison for five years, because he pleaded "no contest". I haven't seen my granddaughter for 10 years, because she blames me for giving her to him. She's married with two children and I miss her.
But what amazes me is how you could write such a fantastic story, in a poem, without actually being that little girl. This is actually my granddaughter's story. Almost word or word!
I read your profile and you are correct, this poem was so horrible that I won't sleep tonight.
You deserve a hundred plus a hundred stars for this one. Carole
Comment Written 06-Dec-2013
Comment from Treischel
Very appropriate use of terms: mortified, horrified, petrified,terrified, dead inside, and God cried. These express the rage and humiliation of the abuse described. Colorfully written. Expertly composed, an inexcusable crime. Your numbers are mind boggling.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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Very appropriate use of terms: mortified, horrified, petrified,terrified, dead inside, and God cried. These express the rage and humiliation of the abuse described. Colorfully written. Expertly composed, an inexcusable crime. Your numbers are mind boggling.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2013
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Thank you very much, Mr. 'T'. It is always a pleasure to receive your unique insights into my work, and I really do appreciate it, too!
Comment from ravenblack
There are monsters much more horrific than anything seen in the movies and their shadows have ruined many lives. No doubt, your ending is what many victims long to do. Powerful write.
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There are monsters much more horrific than anything seen in the movies and their shadows have ruined many lives. No doubt, your ending is what many victims long to do. Powerful write.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2013
Comment from Pili Pubul
This poem deserves more stars that I have. You paint the images of the horror this child has to endure by the one that should be protecting her. Powerful , unfortunately so common, and yes , it never ends. Can totally understand how this poem ends. Thank you for the author notes. Hope that many read it. Pili
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This poem deserves more stars that I have. You paint the images of the horror this child has to endure by the one that should be protecting her. Powerful , unfortunately so common, and yes , it never ends. Can totally understand how this poem ends. Thank you for the author notes. Hope that many read it. Pili
Comment Written 05-Dec-2013
Comment from Joe Ehret
I enjoy seeing stories and poems like these (as twisted as that sounds) because it's so easy to pretend things like this don't really happen if no one talks about it. Fiction or non-fiction, it doesn't matter. When someone brings a well-written piece of writing to the table, I'm intrigued. When that writing is well-written and has something important to say, I'm all ears (or eyes, I suppose). This is one of those pieces of writing.
The rhyming is effective without overwhelming the piece and your word choice is good (as usual).
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I enjoy seeing stories and poems like these (as twisted as that sounds) because it's so easy to pretend things like this don't really happen if no one talks about it. Fiction or non-fiction, it doesn't matter. When someone brings a well-written piece of writing to the table, I'm intrigued. When that writing is well-written and has something important to say, I'm all ears (or eyes, I suppose). This is one of those pieces of writing.
The rhyming is effective without overwhelming the piece and your word choice is good (as usual).
Comment Written 05-Dec-2013
Comment from adewpearl
solid rhyming couplets in this dramatic and horrific story of child abuse, sexual assault and the impact it has on its victims, driving them to actions they would never have committed if not for these brutally extreme circumstances
Brooke
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2013
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solid rhyming couplets in this dramatic and horrific story of child abuse, sexual assault and the impact it has on its victims, driving them to actions they would never have committed if not for these brutally extreme circumstances
Brooke
Comment Written 05-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2013
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Thanks very much, Brooke. I really appreciate the wonderful review, as well as your insights into the topic.